Forfeit
by Ria Sakazaki
Summary: They left him behind to pursue their dreams. He was left behind to salvage his self from grief, loneliness and vengeance. They came back for him...he's in no condition to have them back. They would have to choose now...to fight or forfeit. OT5 angst
1. Years ago

A/N: Hey guys…I'm sad to announce that "Forgotten Heroes" is on an official hiatus. I guess all the action-pack ideas left my brain. I will try to revive it…I just don't know when but I will try my best. My main problem is, the ideas for my stories mostly come during episodes of daydreaming and "night dreaming". I try to write the script in my dream. The bad thing is that when I was writing Forgotten Heroes, something came up…and here it is.

This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback…that's all for now.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

'Forfeit.' Ryoma fought hard to keep his eyes from closing. 'That word never sounded good.' He tried to focus his attention on the ceiling of the mobile transport he is in, blocking everything else. It was only seconds ago that he's living in a wild, vivid world of humans. It also took seconds for him to slowly drop into the oblivion. 'Forfeit. Let go. Surrender…Give up. But…I will…n-not.'

"Oh my god! He's closing his eyes!" A woman screamed. She reached out and slapped Ryoma hard on the cheek but the young man was too forgone.

_Two years ago…_

_Ryoma stomped inside their room, clearly not in the mood for conversations. Behind him the door shut close as his four lovers came in. _

"_What's the rush?" Ryoma snarled at them. "I mean, can't this wait for at least a few hours until my practice is done?" The eighteen-year old boy slumped on the bed. His questions were met by dead air and it made the tennis prodigy frown. 'Something's off.' He studied their solemn face, almost hating every bit of second that passed by. _

"_Ryoma…" The first one to speak was the man to the far right. The haughty aura around him was absent and the flawless skin on his forehead creased. "Actually there is a rush." _

_  
"Dillydallying is unbecoming of you, Keigo." Ryoma rolled his eyes. _

"_Quit it brat." The man snapped at him, making Ryoma smirk. 'Now there's some normalcy.'_

"_Ryo…" The next one was the smiling tensai…but today he's not smiling. He sat next to him and gently pulled him into an embrace. However, Ryoma felt surprisingly cold in his arms. _

"_Syuu…"_

"_What we mean is that…" Golden eyes look up to meet with chestnut-colored ones and the latter shied away. The stoic man beside him stepped forward, gazing directly at him. Most people might call him cold but there so much more past that unfeeling expression. _

"_Ryoma, we mean to stay that this is the right time to part ways." _

Ryoma tried to gasp for a breath. Even if it is just a memory, the sharp edges of each word are still buried in his now-weak heart…immensely hurting him.

As his world started to dim…he tried to hold out once more…maybe for the last time to that painful memory. The burning sensation was the only thing holding him up while dangling over to the edge of life.

"_Why?" Came a whispered pain after a few minutes of stunned silence. Ryoma broke off from Fuji and kept his eyes glued on the stainless beige carpet. He went rigid for a while...as if life came rushing out of every pore in his body. _

"_We have our own paths to follow Ryo-chan." Fuji replied. He sighed. " Keigo here needs to concentrate in over-seeing Atobe Industries. Gen was asked to be a School Administrator in US and Kunimitsu is leaving for England to join his uncle's law firm." _

_Ryoma bit his inner cheek hard to suppress the sob that was attempting to escape from his throat. " A-and how about you, Syusuke?" _

"_Syusuke was asked to apprentice in a big modeling agency in Australia." Keigo replied. _

_Ryoma tried blocking their voices from his head. 'No. I don't believe this. This is just a dream and soon I'll find myself awake under a tree. This is not happening.' Trapped in his internal turmoil, he didn't notice his lovers closing in on him. _

"_And you have so much a head of you too, Ryoma." Gen gently touched his cheek, as if trying to feel for some tears but there was none. "Now you can have no regrets and you are free to join as much tournaments as you want." _

"_It's just that we need to pursue our individual dreams to feel whole." Keigo added. _

"_Are we not whole when we're together?" Ryoma asked. The realization that they were not as happy as Ryoma thought them to be tore his heart apart. "Is love not enough to keep you whole?" _

_A spurt of courage made him look up and look straight into their eyes. "Am I not enough?" _

forfeit

"Damn that's insane." Oishi muttered with his eyes glued to the television. The once-rowdy shop fell into a grave silence as the news aired.

"Are you telling me that he just went out and shoot randomly?!" Eiji sat there gloomily, watching the bloody traces on insanity.

"I guess he just snapped." Inui muttered. Eiji glared at him indignantly.

"But Sadaharu! A lot of people were killed or hurt!" The 23 year-old model/gymnast whined.

"That is just sick." Momo muttered. He tore his eyes away from the TV and scanned the shop. Everyone was supposed to meet up for their monthly "catching-up" but someone is still missing. " Mind you guys, Ryoma is as late as ever."

"He might have been caught in the traffic jam. That shooting spree evidently caused real mayhem." Taka replied, serving him with another plate of sushi.

" Fshuu….but I'm damn worried." Kaidoh muttered.

" Yeah…" Oishi sighed.

"Hey Oishi…" Eiji called out. "I think someone's trying to call you." The mother hen followed Eiji's line of sight and saw his phone flashing.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

Ryoma tried to weave through the dark haze in front of him but his legs and arms fail to respond to his orders. He tried everything…clawing, gnawing against nothing but his body refused to move.

"It would be best, Inoue-san that none of these goes public."

'That's Syuichiro-san's voice. Am I in the shop already?' Ryoma mentally asked himself.

"He doesn't need the extra publicity right now…not like this."

Ryoma tried to move his head towards the direction of the voice but his body remained stiff. 'Syuichiro-san! What's going on!?' In the dark he tried to move about once more but all was in vain. 'Syuichiro-san!!!!!'

forfeit

Oishi gazed at the unconscious man on the bed. Mechanical ventilators, monitors of some sort and tubes were attached to the fragile body on the bed…his sole existence depending on how these contraptions work.

" Ryoma…please don't surrender." Oishi hastily wiped the tears that welled up his eyes. He's amazed on how he's still able to cry after two days of sobbing his heart out over Ryoma's hospital bed. With the boy's adoptive parents dead…he literally doesn't have a family to comfort him.

'Well he had one…but two years ago it shattered.' The medical student bitterly recalled the breakup two years ago.

"Your life is not yet forfeited Ryoma. Even without them you fought to live." Oishi gently caressed Ryoma's limp fingers. "You must continue living…your yourself."

forfeit

'I can hear you perfectly Syuichiro-san." Ryoma wanted so much to let the older man hear him. 'Don't cry for me.'

_Ryoma stood up. "Oh well…who am I to stop you from fulfilling your dreams." His lips curved up into a pained smile. "And as you had said, I have big dreams for myself too." _

"_We're sorry." _

"_Don't be sorry." Ryoma wanted so much to cry that very moment. "No one cheated. No one was physically hurt. We just need to go on separately…that's all." _

_Keigo gaped at him. "So you're not mad?" _

_Ryoma sighed. "I can never hold you back from being happy Keigo." _

'I'll fight. I'll live. I'll fight. I'll live.'

forfeit

The door opened and in came the rest of the former Seigaku regulars, sans Fuji and Tezuka.

"We brought you food, Syuichiro-san." Kaidoh muttered, making sure his voice is no more than a whisper. The aspiring doctor nodded. "Just put it in the table Kaoru-kun."

Eiji stood next to his best friend. "You think he can hear us?"

"Eiji-san." Taka muttered gloomily.

"I think so." Oishi tried to compose his self. "He's in partial coma after all. His brain is still working."

Inui reached out and gently placed his hand on Ryoma's forehead. "We're here O'chibi. Have faith that we'll never leave you."

"Guys…"

"Yes Taka?"

"His fingers twitched." The sushi chef pointed at Ryoma's once-limp fingers. And it moved again…just a slow gently flick made their eyes bulge then well up with tears.

"I think he heard us Sadaharu." Eiji choked out. "I think Ryoma is agreeing with you."

forfetiforfeitforfeit

A/N: Gloomy start? If you think that this is another Coma-reunion plot…you're wrong. You'll know more in the upcoming chapters.

As for the first name basis within the regulars, I think being friends for almost a decade did that.

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REIVEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. How we are now

/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback…that's all for now.

Ahh yes…this chapter is centered on the four culprits…I mean OT4. Ryoma will have a tiny appearance here, just to keep you longing for more.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

Present (2 years after the accident)…

Sanada inhaled the moist cool air of the mountains. He decided to take a time off from teaching and went up to his personal cabin up in the mountains. It has been his refuge whenever loneliness strikes him. It's been five years since he decided to live in America…and away from his lovers.

'Ex-lovers.' He corrected himself as he silently sipped his tea. 'Five years…Genichirou and you never heard from anyone of them. They probably are enjoying their lives while you are here, enjoying the company of cold air and dust.' He smiled bitterly as he watched the sun painting the mountain tops red.

"It's not like I could stop them from following their dreams." He muttered.

"_Are we not whole when we're together?" Ryoma asked. "Is love not enough to keep you whole?"_

He shuddered at the little voice form the memory flashed in his head. For five years, Ryoma's devastated look haunted him even to his sleep.

"_Am I not enough?"_

"You are more than enough, Ryoma." Sanada whispered into the air. "But I don't want to be the blade that will clip your wings." He closed his eyes and reminisced on the hours before they decided to go their own way.

_Five years ago…_

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Sanada asked, studying his three lovers intently. Every word that came out of Tezuka's lips tore his heart into shreds. _

"_We need to grow Gen." Tezuka told him. "Didn't you realize that Ryoma's holding back from entering the professional tournaments because he doesn't want to part from us? He's ignoring his dreams because of us."_

"_Then we can talk to him." Sanada reasoned out. _

"_I tried…but he won't listen." Fuji fought hard to suppress a sob. "He just wants to go to college and study and be like one of us so he could stay." _

_Sanada's head began to throb. 'Damn it! Why? Why now?' _

"_Gen…" _

"_Keigo…you don't agree with this right?" He searched the man's eyes for a bit of sympathy but all he found was remorse._

"_To be able to gain full acceptance for this relationship…we have to succeed first individually." The arrogant man bowed low. "Think about it. There will be no accusation directed to this relationship once they realize that we are able to be the best." _

_Sanada had to sit down. His knees seemed to have lost its will to bore his weight. "What about Ryoma?"_

"_What about us?"_

A single tear escaped his eyes. 'This is stupid.' He hastily brushed it away and finished his tea. He went inside his cabin and switched on the TV. A report depicting another successful business venture of Atobe greeted him.

He idly went for the cellar to take out a bottle of brandy. "You're doing great Keigo." He muttered before chugging down the bitter liquid.

'I've heard of Fuji's success in Australia and Tezuka's fame in England. The only one that I haven't had a single news of is Ryoma.' He closed his eyes and tried to picture the smug face of the young man he loved…still love dearly.

"Ryoma…what happened to you?"

forfeit

Atobe stared down at his glass of scotch while listening to the news on TV. He had a hell of a day, starting from the press conference to the work left in his office.

"The successful CEO…"

"Yeah right…successful he is," Atobe drawled. He looked out his window to stare at the starry sky. "Ore-sama is always successful in everything that he ventures on…except for one." He finished off his drink in one go. "He leads a damn lonely life."

"_Are we not whole when we're together?" Ryoma asked. "Is love not enough to keep you whole?"_

He closed his eyes to as a familiar twinge in his heart returned. It has been like that since they broke up.

"_Am I not enough?"_

'Those sinful golden eyes…' Atobe sighed. 'Every night those eyes haunted me like a plague. The sad, trembling voice rang inside my ears for like an eternity.' He stood up and loosened his tie. 'Through the years I thought I could forget. Forget everything…him…them…but I guess an Atobe can be a fool sometimes.'

He stood by his window and watched the building below blinking like stars.

"_To be able to gain full acceptance for this relationship…we have to succeed first individually."_

Atobe frowned at his own words. 'Why did I care about acceptance in the first place? We have been together for six years and we ignored out family's views about our relationship so why in heaven's name did I cared about acceptance?!'

Anger started to boil inside of him. It was anger, not directly towards his former boyfriends but to himself.

_Sanada had to sit down. "What about Ryoma?"_

"_What about us?"_

"Gen…" He bit his lip as tears welled up his eyes. "I'm sorry for saying those things…for hurting you and most of all Ryoma." He clutched his fists until his knuckles turned white. "I feel so lonely right now. I miss you guys…I miss everything…I miss being loved…"

"And most of all…I miss loving you."

There was a knock on his door that made him jolt and wipe away his tears. Thankful that the lights were off, he composed his self.

"What is it?"

"Your car is ready as you have requested, Senior Atobe." A heavily accented voice came to him.

"I'll be right there, Rodrigo. Gracias."

forfeit

Tezuka collapsed on the bed with a heavy sigh. He was dead tired. Earlier that day he succeeded defending his 20th trial. Being the top lawyer in his uncle's firm or rather _his_ firm is never an easy job. Aside from doing everything he can to win his cases, he also has to dodge threats from the convicted.

"All in a day's work." He muttered. Later that day also, he caught glimpse of Atobe's latest press con fresh from Spain. A bittersweet smile grazed his lips. "Ahhh…so he's been very busy this past few months. Good job Keigo."

He turned to his side and saw a postcard lying on his beside table. He picked it up. It says:

Kunimitsu,

I'll be seeing you soon.

Syu

He could help but sigh. 'Among the four of us, you're the one who moved on fast Syu. I heard you had a new boyfriend in Australia.'

"I don't know if I can face you." He muttered. He glanced at his phone…no messages. 'What are you expecting Kunimitsu? He hasn't called you in years so why bother waiting now?'

"_Are we not whole when we're together?" Ryoma asked. "Is love not enough to keep you whole?"_

He slumped back on his bed. "I'm really sorry Ryoma. I thought it was the best thing to do." In the five years that they've been apart, he expected the golden-eyed man to have conquered the tennis world. The thing that is bothering him for the past years was why Ryoma's name was inexistent.

"Not even one game…" Tezuka muttered. "Did he quit tennis after we broke up?"

"_Am I not enough?"_

Tezuka fought back the urge to sob at the memory. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Ryoma. I didn't mean to hurt you." He groped for his wallet and stared at the picture of Ryoma, taken by Fuji, who was sleeping under a tree. "I only want you to fulfill your dreams without me hindering you. I did it…" he trailed off as the tears that he long suppressed finally fell down his cheeks.

"_We need to grow Gen." Tezuka told him. "Didn't you realize that Ryoma's holding back from entering the professional tournaments because he doesn't want to part from us? He's ignoring his dreams because of us."_

'Maybe I as wrong.' Tezuka took a deep breath. 'Maybe we didn't need to be apart to be whole.' Tezuka looked out into the dark sky.

"I wonder if we're looking at the same stars tonight minna." He asked out loud.

"I miss you so much."

forfeit

Fuji remained silent as he watched the other man pack his things. 'This is the right thing to do Syusuke. You never really loved him anyway.'

"I'm really so-" The man started.

"Stop it Ryoga." Fuji cut him off. He tore his eyes away from those golden orbs…golden orbs which were too damn familiar. "It wasn't your fault—"

The man, who looked like an older version of Ryoma slumped back on the bed. "I'm sorry Syusuke. I can't help but believe that we're splitting up because I'm sick and--"

Fuji reached out and touched his hand. "I'm not doing this because you're sick. I'm really sorry Ryoga but I just can't force myself to keep on making you believe that I'm totally committed into this relationship." Fuji bit his lip. 'Thank god I have a mask. I'm really sorry Echizen Ryoga.'

Ryoga tried to hold back a sob. "It's two years Syusuke." His voice trembled at he spoke.

"I know." Fuji buried his face into his hands. "I'm sorry." He left the weight lifting off the mattress. He dared not to look up for he couldn't handle the shame. Seeing those eyes made him feel like he's back in Atobe's mansion 5 years ago.

"_Are we not whole when we're together?" Ryoma asked. "Is love not enough to keep you whole?"_

Ryoga cast one last look at Fuji before closing the door. 'I'll take you back someday Syusuke.'

Fuji wasn't able to hold back his tears the moment the door closed. For two years he deceived himself and Ryoga. He never really loved the man. Fuji just got attracted because…

"_Am I not enough?"_

'I'm sorry I used you Ryoga.' Fuji sobbed. 'I just can't—I mean you looked exactly like him.' He wiped his tears away and glanced at the closed door.

"It's still Ryoma and the others who reign in my heart Ryoga. I'm sorry I couldn't give you back the love that you deserve."

He stared at the two postcards left on his table. One was addressed to Sanada and the other was to Atobe.

"I hope it's not too late salvage the past."

forfeit

Ryoma made a beeline towards piano room #4. Even from the hallway he could hear the crisp sound of the piano coming out from the said room.

He brushed his dark locks, which grew past his neck, off his face as he neared the room. 'I wonder what's taking him so long.' Golden eyes narrowed in curiosity as he peered through the glass door. He recognized the two spectators inside; they were his kohais from the 2nd year level. They were avidly watching the pianist whom was hidden from Ryoma's line of vision. The sounds were very distinct now and he immediately recognized the piece.

Ryoma smiled before he pushed the doors open. "Maxim? My, I never thought you're one for the contemporary."

The music immediately stopped and his two kohais turned there attention to him.

"Ryuzaki-senpai!"

Ryoma nodded to acknowledge the two before turning his attention towards the pianist.

"It's not like that Ryoma. I was just showing them the difference of the classics and contemporary." His hazel eyes sparkled under the light. His hair might be shorted that it was almost 10 years ago but the mild demeanor of Ohtori Choutarou never changed.

"Yeah right whatever Choutarou." Ryoma scoffed. "We have a meeting at 10. Better hurry up." With this, he left.

The room was filled with silence until one of the kohais spoke up.

"I still can't believe you two are living together Ohtori-senpai."

Ohtori chuckled. "What's so wrong about two males living together?" he asked.

"You said it senpai." The other replied. "How in the world can two equally gorgeous and equally talented and equally famous guys live together without sharing a very special relationship?!"

Ohtori couldn't help but smile. He turned to gaze at the closed door. 'We have something special alright.'

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A/N: Ok…on to explaining. First…you might have noticed that Ryoma's last name is Ryuzaki. I mean I can imagine your faces right now. It's like…"Wtf!?!?!?!?!?" Yes…his last name in this fic is Ryuzaki…not Echizen. Sakuno never existed in this story ok? Ryoga's still an Echizen though. You'll know more about this in the future chapters. Next…yes Fuji dated Ryoga for two years because Ryoga strongly reminded him of Ryoma. More of this will be revealed in the next chapters.

(Side story: While writing this chapter an earthquake occurred. Yeah…I'm so dizzy right now)

As for Ohtori…he's living with Ryoma. I'll leave it like that for now. Ryoga's sick…ergo angst… Ryoma did not make it to professional tennis. Reason will be revealed probably near the end of this story but it is still related to the accident.

For now…

MAKE ME HAPPY AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Entangled

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback…that's all for now.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

The wind blew softly against Tezuka's face. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his self but his heart won't stop beating so hard.

"Five years Kunimitsu. It's been five years since you last saw him." He told his self as he tried to look composed. He sat under a Maple tree, under its scarlet showers. It has been three months since he received the post card from Fuji.

'Believing it is a one thing and actually waiting here for him is another.' Tezuka's grip tightened on the cup of coffee in his hand, still unable to grasp the truth present before him.

Fuji's flying to London...to see him.

Tezuka closed his eyes and groaned inwardly at the thought. 'I don't know how I should act towards him.'

"Being your natural stoic self is fine by me Mitsu."

Tezuka's eyes shot open in surprise. He expected to see his closed-eyed smiled but his drawing deep into two pools of sapphire.

"You never changed Mitsu." Fuji's lips curved upwards. "You still voice out your thoughts aloud."

"Syu-Fuji."

forfeit

Atobe watched the people clamoring around him in disdain. He was miraculously convinced by his butler to take a week's off in London.

"You're so going to pay for this Rodrigo." Atobe muttered under his breath. 'London's a very boring place! He could've booked me a flight to Jamaica. yeah...Jamaica's more cheerful than this.' He closed his eyes, brows furrowing in concern.

Unbeknownst to him, he seemed to be an eye-catcher to most of the crowd. His fair skin, seemingly flawless face and hair made people look more than twice.

He opened his eyes and put on a determined look. 'I'm leaving. Hell yeah! Only God can keep me from--'

"One decaf please."

Atobe tensed. 'I know that voice.' His heart started beating hard and fast.

"Thank you."

'Oh god.' He's hands were clammy and he looked pale. 'Gen...' He forced his self to turn around and indeed before him sat Sanada, in his black suit, sipping decaf. 'Oh my god.'

Sanada looked up after sensing that someone is staring at him. He turned around and was perturbed by the sight before him.

It was like an unknow force forced him to stand up and walk towards the man by the window.

"Keigo."

"Gen."

forfeitforfeit

Ohtori sat back in defeat. 'He's as stubborn as before.'

"Ryoma."

An eyebrow arched up. "You're not getting involved in this Choutarou." The golden-eyed man said firmly. "This is my fight...my life. It is mine to live or forfeit."

Ohtori shook his head. "But you have to bear in mind that this life is not completely yours for the past 5 years Ryoma. Your senpai-tachi, I and a whole lot of people are living it for you because you're too damn stubborn to hold on to the kind of fight you SHOULD be fighting!"

Silence reigned inside the house.

Ryoma sighed. "I didn't expect you'd be too meddlesome when I took you in."

Ohtori snorted, his hazel eyes were almost twinkling in delight. "Well it's too late now. It's not my fault that you're such a hard-assed housemate." His face then sobered up. "You shouldn't do this. You'll end up getting hurt--"

"Don't I always?" Ryoma cut him off. he stood up and busied himself with his bag. "Ever since I was born I'm always on the losing side. Is it asking too much if I want to be on top for a while?"

Ohtori had to scratch his head at that. "You still don't know the whole story. maybe there was a mistake. Maybe--"

"Maybe I was a mistake." Ryoma finished for him. Those golden eyes which were so fiery moments ago reflected years of hurt. "All I know and all I'm believing is that they never made a move to find me, as if I didn't exist in their lives."

Ohtori stood out and grabbed his arms. "What if you do exist for them and some horrible thing happened which resulted to your adoption?"

Ryoma felt anger boiling from his gut. He yanked away from Ohtori's grip. "Horrible or not it doesn't change the fact that I was left on my own. It if wasn't for Baa-chan I would've died! Now that she's dead and the others left me, I will make sure that their family will grieve for the rest of their lives on earth!"

The man bolted out of the house, leaving the dazed Ohtori behind. His eyes wandered to the wall and saw a cut-out picture from a newspaper depicting the happy family of the successful Echizens.

His eyes wandered from the older Echizen down to the son who was a successful model abroad.

'I don't know what happened in the past but he was severely damaged at a very young age because of what happened. I'm just praying no one else gets hurt.

forfeitforfeit

The two sat under the same maple tree in an awkward silence. The soft winds continued to blow gently past them, caressing their bodies like light whispers.

"So..."

Fuji looked up to meet Tezuka's questioning gaze.

"How's your boyfriend?" Tezuka regretted saying it when he saw a flash of sorrow in the tensai's eyes. 'You're so stupid Kunimitsu!' He berated his self. "I mean--"

"We broke up." Fuji cut him off. He cast his gaze on the ground, ashamed of the truth he carried. "I-I can't seem to continue lying to him anymore."

"What do you mean?" Tezuka asked. He carefully studied Fuji's face like he used to do during his trials. Remorse, guilt and a whole lot of emotions were sported by the tensai. 'Don't tell me...' He's afraid to assume. It pains him a lot.

A sad smile grazed Fuji's lips. "I've fucked everything up, Mitsu." He still insisted on himself that calling him by his nickname is still ok. " I didn't want to lie to him anymore...and also to myself. Two years of farce is what I'm talking about."

Tezuka's heart throbbed against his chest. "Stop beating around the bush Syusuke."

The tensai looked up to him, surprised that he's finally called by his given name. "Thanks Mitsu."

Tezuka sighed and looked down at his clammy hands. "Just say it Syusuke."

Fuji took a deep breath. "Ryoga-- I mean Echizen Ryoga was one of my models in the past. We grew close because..."

Tezuka felt a twinge of pain in his chest at the mention of the name. 'I do not have the right to be angry. I do not have the right to be angry.' He repeated this mantra inside his head.

"We grew close because he reminded me much of Ryoma."

Tezuka jerked. He glared at the blue-eyed tensai. "How could--"

"I know!" Fuji buried his face in his hands. "I'm a horrible person for I defiled Ryoma's memories by loving him using another person but I just can't help it. I miss him so much." Tears welled up his eyes. "I realized that our decision wasn't the best for us. I still love him so much and it pains me everyday knowing this truth and yet I'm waking up with a different person beside me."

Tezuka's hard exterior shattered the moment chocked sobs sliced through the still air. his arms automatically wound around the crying man.

"It's ok Syusuke. Don't cry anymore." Tezuka muttered as he brought the man to his chest. "I'm here now."

"We'll fix things together ok?"

forfeit

The two sat together in an amicable silence with steaming cups of tea under their nose. After the short exchange pleasantries they settled in a teasing game of "who-caught-looking-at-who" It seems that Sanada's winning at the moment.

"You can just say anything you want Keigo." Sanada caressed the rim of his cup. "It's annoying that you keep on staring at me."

Atobe gaped at the man before him. "Excuse me!? Why would you imply that Ore-sama is staring at you? And mind you, Atobes don't stare." He glared at Sanada indignantly.

Sanada smiled a little. "Yeah I know. You don't stare...you simply graze other people with your gazes."

Atobe sat their silently for a while, openly studying Sanada as he took a sip from his cup. "You look old."

Sanada, still used to Atobe's antics, just shrugged. "Is my self-abuse that obvious?" He glanced teasingly at the diva but he sobered up when he saw Atobe frowned.

"Were you--"

"Yeah." Sanada nodded. 'This is what's good between us Keigo. We don't need to use words that much.' He gently rotated his cup a few times. " Seems like I did...or rather still am."

Atobe sighed and focused his eyes on the window of the cafe. "I'm sorry." He muttered timidly. He knew he's blushing since his cheeks suddenly felt hot.

It was Sanada's turn to gape at him. He blinked a couple of times before it dawned on him that Atobe was indeed apologizing.

"Don't mind it. It was a group decision anyway." Sanada smiled bitterly. He met Atobe's gaze. "How were you these passed years Keigo?"

Atobe took a deep breath as warmth started to well up in his eyes. "Not good."

Sanada nodded. "Same here." He caught sight of Atobe's hand on the table and summoned up his courage to reach out and pat his pale hand. It was a pat that ended up with Atobe grasping his hand tightly as if he's afraid that Sanada would disappear any minute.

"K-Keigo." He stammered.

Atobe gazed at him pleadingly. "C-can we take this somewhere private before I lose my face and whine here?" He asked quietly. He averted his gaze and he soon felt that he's being pulled up to his feet.

"Ok."

forfeitforfeit

Ryoma collapsed on a park bench. He closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

"Oi brat."

He didn't need to open his eyes. From voice alone, he could clearly tell that it was Niou.

"If you're looking for your lover, I left him at home." Ryoma panted. "I think you perfectly know your way there."

Niou shook his head and sat next to him. "Actually it was Choutarou who called me up, telling me that a certain housemate of his is currently running amok across the city. I think I may have found him."

Ryoma chuckled. "Yeah right. So you're a detective now. Great." He opened his eyes and smirked up the Trickster.

"You're not fooling anyone Echizen."

Ryoma's eyes darkened. "If you came here to pick up where Choutarou left off--"

"I'm not." Niou stood up. He slid his hands inside his pockets and shrugged. " He just asked me to check if you're ok. You do know that he takes Oishi's reminders to heart."

Ryoma shook his head in disbelief. "I'm no baby." He wiped the sweat off his face. "I can take care of myself."

Niou shook his head, his platinum locks falling on his face. "I can see that clearly." He muttered sarcastically. "And besides, I'm here to caution you on something."

Ryoma looked up. "What is it?"

Niou turned around to meet his gaze. "Seiichi called me up this morning. He told me that Sanada is coming home."

Ryoma's heart skipped a bit but his tried to ignore it. "So?"

Niou smiled at him. "This means that you better not miss your check-up with him tomorrow. He thinks you need to prepare yourself for this."

Ryoma slumped back. "Great...just great." He closed his eyes and an image of Sanada came to him. 'I so don't need that kind of distraction.'

A sound of hurried footsteps came to his ears.

"Hey boys, care to hit some balls with me and my son?"

Ryoma opened his eyes and before him stood Echizen Nanjiroh with a tennis racket in hand.

"Nice seeing you in a place other than the bar, Ryuzaki-kun."

Ryoma's senses kicked into alarm stage but he tried to supress them. He forced himself to smile. "Your son is here, Echizen-san?"

Nanjiroh yawned. "Yeah. he's here to recuperate that's why I'm helping him get some light exercises. Want to join?"

Niou watched the fleeting glint of malice in Ryoma's eyes. 'So Choutarou wasn't lying when he said--'

Ryoma stood up abruptly. "Sure thing, Echizen-san. I could only play for a short while but I'm excited to meet this son of yours."

"He sure must be a lucky man to have you as his parents."

forfeit

Sanada decided to take Keigo for a walk in the park. The moment that they came upon some privacy, Atobe silently let his tears fall while still holding on to Sanada.

"My aunt forced my to come here to have some soul-searching." Sanada muttered, quite conscious of the heat from Atobe's hand. "She thinks I'm possessed or something."

Atobe chuckled and wiped his tears away. "Possessed? Why on earth would she--"

"I quit my job and I'm hell-bent on going home to Japan. She said that I'm throwing an ideal life away."

Atobe froze on his tracks. "Going home to Japan?"

Sanada stared at him quizzically. "Yeah. It's been five years since I last saw my parents and my friends."

Atobe blinked. "But this means you'll be meeting him."

"Him?" Sanada asked. Then realization dawned upon him. "Oh him. I think so. I mean, I want to see him."

"Gen..."

Sanada sighed. "Five years Keigo, and I haven't heard a single word from him...not even from the press. I was hoping that he'd be on top in one year but his name never came up in the tournaments...not even once."

Atobe sighed. "You're not the only one who hasn't heard from him."

forfeit

"I tried coaxing any information out of Yuuta but he never bulged." Fuji said. "It seems like the old circuit is trying to hide him from us."

'Yeah...come to think of it, Oishi never gave any information regarding Ryoma for the past five years.' Tezuka mused. "You might be right. I haven't heard anything about from Oishi for five ears."

Fuji looked up to meet his gaze. "Do you think they're mad at us for leaving?"

Tezuka shrugged. "I don't know..."

Fuji sighed. "I tried calling everyone I know...even Ryuzaki-sensei but I got nothing. It seemed like the two disappeared into thin air."

Tezuka closed his eyes. 'What could have happened to result to this? I'm really curious.' An image of Ryoma flashed in his mind and he felt a pang of guilt and longing. 'I need to see him again.' He opened his eyes only to find Fuji up on his feet, eyes wide open in surprise.

"Syusuke?"

Fuji didn't bulge. His heart started beating hard against his chest as he gaped at the sight before him.

"Syu? Mitsu?"

Tezuka froze. 'I know that voice.' His brain supplied.

"K-Keigo...G-Gen." Fuji stammered.

Tezuka abruptly turned around to see two more faces that haunt his existence for so long.

Atobe blinked back his surprise. "W-well...this is awkward." He felt Gen's hand tightened in his. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Keigo, stop it." Gen muttered before he let go of Atobe to pull Fuji into a crushing embrace.

"Please tell me this isn't a dream." Gen whispered into the tensai's ears.

Fuji felt shivers running down his spine. His initial reaction was to return the hug with the same intensity. "This isn't a dream Gen." Blue eyes met with chestnut ones. "I'm for real."

forfeitforfeit

Ryoma blinked twice. This is not what he expected. He's trying his best not to falter under the intense gaze of the same golden orbs. He held on to his composure as he returned the fevered gaze with the same force.

'Good thing i grew my hair long...or else it'll be very hard to tell us apart.' He mused as he studied the man's features.

"And you are?" Ryoga asked, he voice slicing through the thin sheet to tension in the tennis court.

"Ryoma." He cleared his throat. "Ryuzaki Ryoma." Ryoga extended his hand but Ryoma ignored it. Instead he kept his gaze plastered on Ryoga's face.

'This is the man who'll be the end and the begining of me.' Ryoma tried to suppress a smirk but he failed.

"What's so funny?" Ryoga asked. He glanced at his father who was busy chatting with Niou. "How did you know my father?"

"A bit bratty are we?" Ryoma twirled the racket in his hand. "An only child I guess." He tucked his hair behind his ear. "Anyway, I'm one of the singers in your parent's bar."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. 'What a cocky brat.' He muttered. despite the brashness of this man, Ryoga can feel an unexplainable affinity towards him. 'We have the same eyes...had it not been for some trivial features, he looks just like me.' Ryoga couldn't help but frown. 'Just who is this guy?'

"Ryoga! Ryuzaki-kun! Let's start hitting some balls!!!" Nanjiroh called from afar.

With one last smirk, Ryoma turned away from Ryoga. "This is going to be so much fun." He licked his lips as if he can already taste his victory.

Ryoga followed the retreating man with his gaze, the uneasy feeling grew inside his heart. He clutched his chest. 'Just what is this that I feel? Why do I feel like this towards him?' He took a deep breath, just noticing how much he's trying to hold it in.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

Without much talking, the four rekindled the flames in their hearts. Without the atrocities of words, they found their way back to each other's hearts...and familiarized themselves to that old place they occupied.

Now, without fear of prejudice and shame they succumbed into each other's warmth and threw their selves into the endless heat of passion.

"Something is missing." Fuji panted as he lay naked on top of Tezuka who was catching his breath as well.

"I know." Atobe's shaking hand reached out to touch the tensai's handsome face. Gen rolled off him.

"We can't do anything about that now Syu." He muttered before nuzzling Atobe's neck, earning him a needy whimper from the diva.

"But there's still a chance to fix it." Tezuka gently raked his fingers through the tensai's sweat-soaked hair.

Fuji purred at the gentle onslaught. "I know. I've been meaning to tell you earlier that we all need to go home to reclaim our kitten back."

"I think we all just realized how we cannot live without him anymore."

forfeitforfeitforfeit

A/N: Ahhh...major plot revealed? So I guess it's not obvious that Ryoma and Ohtori are not together. Ohtori's with Niou. Yukimura's a neuro-specialist while Oishi's at general surgery. It was the first time that Ryoma and Ryoga met after 23 years.

Next chapter will be Ryoma-centric. A beautiful and bitter Ryoma is always such a sight to behold.

Once again...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. My piano sonata

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback…that's all for now.

This is written in Ryoma's POV.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

I tried to smile but my lips disobeyed me. I thought I am callous enough to ignore the obvious fact presented before me.

I'm dying. Now a few notes of the sad Beethoven piece started playing in my mind.

"I am sad, as I have been for three years, to tell you this Ryoma-kun." Yukimura's voice shattered the little glass world I was in. I looked up to him and gave him a sad smile.

"It's ok, Doctor. As you have said, you've been telling me this for three years already. I'm quite used to it." I did my best to suppress the tears that were trying to escape from my tear ducts. I looked away and focused on the flower pot by the window.

The music in my head seemed to be escalating in volume. Every key pressed felt like someone's stretching my heart until it started to feel strained.

After three years of having him as my consultant, I have memorized his office already from the placement of his tiny action figures to his fauna. Life...this room imbibed it while I imbibed death.

"Ryoma-kun...you know there is still--"

I have to clear my throat to that. I had to. It seems like he and Syuichiro-san have been hanging out a lot. Shouldn't the neuro surgeons be haughty due to the "special honor" they carry and not be friendly with other specializations? " You realize that my answer will be just the same Doctor."

I watched him sighed in defeat and rubbed his face with his hands. I do stress people out lately don't I? Yes, I do. Choutarou, Syuichiro-san, the old crowd and even Yukimura-san were entangled in this mess I'm in. His tawny eyes met mine once more.

"Is there anything that I can do or say to change your mind?"

I frowned a little. Human beings are meddlesome creatures. I shook my head. "If there is, I would've submitted myself earlier."

"And what if I tell you that S--"

"Sanada is coming home?" I promptly asked him. "I already know. Niou-kun told me yesterday." I left my seat and paced the distance to the window. "There's not much that I can do about it. It's his decision."

The gentle doctor cleared his throat. "He's not the only one who's coming home."

Wait...did he just say what I think he said? I spun around only to see him frowning even more. "You mean..." The piano sounds paused into a deafening silence.

Yukimura sighed and sat on the edge of his desk. "Gen phoned me in last night, telling me that he and the others will be going home. I'm not sure if they're staying for good but I can tell that they all got back together."

I AM stunned. Those four reunited...and I'm here contemplating about my impending doom. Yukimura-san's giving me a funny look right now. He must be seeing how the color drained from my face. Great...just great.

"As I have said earlier, there's not much that I can do about it." I looked away from him. I had to. These doctors have a way of getting into your head and that's something that I don't want right now. My head's an utter mess...they might complain to the sanitary division about it.

"They are adults and they know what they're doing." On how I was able to controll my voice, I wondered. I heard a crisp haughty laugh. "This is no laughing matter Doctor." I clenched my fists as I intently started outside. Everything...everything I've palnned for three years just went down the drain. Damn it!

"I'm sorry. It's such a crazy situation you're in." I tried to stop myself from nodding in agreement. "What would you do now?"

I took a deep breath, finally winning the will not to cry. I turned around to face him. "Nothing." Before my make-shift resolve faltered, I grabbed by bag and headed for the door. "I don't see any reason to get myself involved." With this, I closed the door shut.

Does God intend to make me suffer even in the last days of my life?

forfeitforfeitforfeit

I'm sulking...yes I am. I realized this after a few minutes of sitting here in the Hospital's waiting lounge. I don't do this often but I think the situation merits it. I slowly scanned my surroundings, taking in the different faces of different individuals. Some of them were seeking help...some were visiting someone who has regained life...some, just like me, were dangling over the edge, waiting for the thread to snap.

I never planned my life to turn out like this. Five years ago I was a happy young man, surrounded by love from a very controvercial and exciting relationship and with a future brighter than the sun already in my pocket.

Where did I go wrong? I asked myself as I studied the markings on my palm. Is it my destiny to be forever rejected by those I love?

First, my lovers decided it's best we go our separate ways. I sighed. I know I'm not the most affectionate person on earth but they came to be a vital part of my existence, that I secretly identified myself with them and without them I'm nothing.

I blinked a couple of times, surprised that I seemed to have ran out of tears. They wanted to leave and I'm too proud to cling to them. Ryuzaki Ryoma is not a demanding brat. Although that decision almost crippled me, I tried moving on...

I had to clear my throat. Something's stuck in there and I can't seem to breathe.

"Ryoma-kun?"

That soft voice shattered into my world. I looked up to meet soft green orbs. Great...I think a person needs only one meddling doctor to last him a lifetime.

"Syuichiro-san. I thought you were doing a procedure." I smiled up to him but that didn't change his serious expression. Hmmm...I think the networking between the neurosurgeons and the gastro-enterologists should be terminated. "Syuichiro-san?"

He sighed and took a seat beside me. I have noticed throughout the years that Syuichiro-san had become a brother to me...someone who's always out there, watching over my back. I have five other brothers but they are the trouble-makers. Syuichiro-san is the big brother.

"I heard from Yukimura-kun."

I chuckled. I didn't know why but it sorta came out. "Really Syuichiro-san, I think you two should stop hanging out together." His short and playful chortle seemed to have calmed me a bit.

"Ryoma."

I sobered up. Now comes the confrontation. I've been doing this with him for three years...and I'm kinda getting tired.

"This year's the last isn't it?" I looked up to meet his gaze and the apparent sadness in those green eyes almost crushed my heart. The tears that had been absent earlier came welling up my eyes once more. "I still can't believe that--"

The sad piano sonata came to my head once more. i held his clammy hands in mine. "I'll be fine Syuichiro-san. You have taken very good care of me for the past three years." Those words, I know, came from the bottom of my heart. I maybe snarly towards him sometimes but I'm really, trully grateful that he hung out for me for a long time.

Then the tears came. It's ok if they were my tears but they were Syuichiro-san's and it broke my heart.

"We don't want to let you go, Ryoma. I don't want to let go of you." He wiped his tears away. "You've had such a nice life ahead of you and one senseless act destroyed it all."

I took deep breaths. It seemed like my lungs were trying to compensate for an unkown reason. "Thank you Syuichiro-san." I slowly released his hand, pulled my cap down to hide my teary eyes.

"But I do believe that soon we must all face the truth that I'd have to leave you eventually."

forfeitforfeitforfeit

I walked across the city in a daze. I glided like a ghost from street to street. not exactly knowing where I'm going but my feet seemed to have memorized their destination.

"Saying farewell is such a drag." I muttered as I kneeled before a sakura tree with a lighted incense stick between my hands. I placed the incense stick in the ornate pot before settling on the green patch of grass, staring up the tree.

"I see you seem to like you're new home, Baa-chan." I smiled a little at the lush green canopy hovering over me. "I'm glad that you're at peace at last."

I closed my eyes and a memory came to me.

_Her hazel eyes narrowed into slits. "Are you telling me that you're inolved in a relationship with not only one but four guys?!"_

_I sighed. "It's not like I'm planning to leave you out of this Baa-chan. It''s just that..." I tried to grope for words but none came to me. The look of disappointment in her eyes nearly broke my heart. _

_She massaged her temples in a few seconds of silence. _

_"Tell me...are you happy with them?"_

"I was happy Baa-chan." I muttered into the air. "I've never been happier in my whole life when I had you and them by my side."

_"Ryoma...why are you crying?" Gentle and warm hands engulfed me as I sat crying in the corner of my room. _

_Sniffles and sobs were the only things I can make out as a response. She pulled me close to her chest, comforting me with slow, soothing back rubs. _

_"I'm your family remember?" She whispered. "Even when the world turned its back on you, I will be the one who'll stay by your side...because I'm your Baa-chan." _

_Those quilte sniffles and sobs turned into wails as I clutched on her dress. _

_"S-Sumire-baa-chan...a-am I not enough t-to keep them w-whole?"_

The tears that I have been holding back for a time slowly rolled down my cheeks. Why did things turn out this way? I bit my lower lip and wiped the those trecherous tears away. Why me?

_I gently grasped her clammy hands as we walked together to attend Sadaharu-san's early graduation from college. It's been a year since my happy, romatic bubble popped. I was still adjusting to my new-found single life when..._

_"Ryoma." _

_"Yes, Baa-chan?" I looked up to meet her sad hazel eyes. _

_"I know that this is not the time to tell you this..." She paused to take full breaths. I noticed that she always seemed out of breath these days. "You do know that I just adopted you right?" _

_I nodded. I'm not liking the course this conversation is taking. _

_She sighed. "I think you're old enough and mature enough to process this information that I'll be giving you." She grasped my hand firmly. "Just promise me, whatever it is, you will not forget about me or do something stupid ok?" _

_"O-ok." I nodded. My heart was thumping hard inside my chest. _

"And you died the next day due to heart failure." My fingers gently grazed the grass. "Even when I promised you I won't do anything stupid, with you gone, I wasn't able to control myself Baa-chan."

Then anger filled my heart again. "I think it's the side-effect of being human. We can feel a wide range of emotions...even the extremes of it."

I stood up and caressed the rough bark of the monument of my beloved grandmother.

"I'm only counting the days Baa-chan...for the time when we'll be together once more." My fingers grazed the thin scar that was forever etched on my head.

"Ryuzaki Ryoma...or rather Echizen Ryoma will go with a bang, leaving a chorus of cries trailing behind him."

forfeitforfeitforfeit

Soulfull notes filled the practice room #4. Each key of Beethoven's piano sonata pressed bore a three-year weight of misery...

Of anger...for those who abandoned me in my most vulnerable state. I made sure I put additional weight on my fingers as they skiddled across the keys.

Of pain...for those whom I entrusted myself to, only to be abandoned as well. Despite the slight sting in my skull I continued. Beethoven didn't stop even when he had gone deaf to the world.

Of sadness...for those who stood by me in my time of need. Their faces will be forever etched in my memory...the only thing that I held on to throughout the years.

Of death... for myself. I had been fighting only to lose in the end. I said I will never surrender but here I am, planning to forfeit my life.

I heard the door slowly opened but I still continued playing to the last part of the sonata.

As long as there's still a note to play, a tear to shed, a smile to give and time to spare...I will not stop!!

"Ryuzaki-senpai's so amazing."

When it's time for me to let go...I will. I will willingly forfeit this life that I have.

Mada mada dane.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

A/N: ok... I don't know what happened there Would you want to guess what happened to him? I know it's quite confusing. I'm sorry... I am just trying to put every emotion I dreamt Ryoma was having into words. (Which is actually hard)

Oh yeah, I do apologize if I have typos here. It's just that I don't have an MS Word up since my computer just recovered from being sick (yeah...she's sick) so I'm using WordPad. :( poor me!

If you want more...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!


	5. feet on foreign grounds

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

Ok so basically I have a lot of explaining to do. The main confusion point is the flashbacks with Ryuzaki-sensei right? Ok...

The first flashback happened when Ryoma was only 14 yrs. old when his OT5 relationship was found out by his adoptive grandmother...which is basically 10 years ago basing on Ryoma's current age...which is 23.

The second flashback happened the night that OT5 broke up. Ryoma went home to Ryuzaki-sensei which is five years ago basing on Ryoma's current age. See chapter 1.

The third flashback with Ryuzaki-sensei is a year after the break-up which is a year before Ryoma's accident.

I hope that cleared things a bit. No, I'm not going to talk about why Ryoma's dying. You'll know that in the future chapters. I'm sadistic that way.

OK...back to FORFEIT!

BEFORE I FORGET, PLEASE TELL ME IF INCORPORATING SONGS TO THIS FIC IS OK WITH YOU. I MEAN RYOMA'S A MUSICIAN HERE BUT IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD FOR SONGS, I'LL LAY IT OFF.

forfeitforfeitforfeit

It has been a week since Ryoma's visit to the hospital and Oishi's already on-edge due to the near arrival of the young man's ex-lovers. So, he gathered his friends once more to make a plan.

Momo hasn't seen his friends this serious for a long time. The last was when Ryoma got into an accident. He shook his head. The topic for tonight is no longer a medical emergency...but still an emergency situation none the less.

"Fshuu...so you mean Syuichiro-san that all we need to do is keep them from meeting Ryoma-kun?" Kaidoh, now a budding entrepreneur, asked warrily.

Oishi, still in his white coat, nodded.

"This is so devious Oishi. Nya...who taught you this?" Eiji spun in his seat. Really...for a twenty-five year old man, his maturity came up short.

Oichi sighed. "No one. I just--I want--"

"It will be a bit tricky but I think we can manage." Inui pushed his glasses up. The successful chemistry professor started scanning his trusty green notebook. "The other half will be quite easy to distract."

"I guess our problem now is how to out-play the monkey king and the tensai." Momo announced. He could feel the temperature dropped a few degrees.

"It's not going to be easy." Taka muttered, leaning over his sushi counter. "Atobe has the influence while Fujiko is well...Fuji."

Momo sighed and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. It was a good thing that being an employee at a TV station could really help in situations like this. "I'll round up the guys from the old circuit. For the mean time, find a way to keep Ryoma from accidentally meeting those guys." He sighed and jumped off the chair to make some calls.

'Really Ryoma...you're always the youngest sibling who causes trouble.' He mused as he started skimming through his comprehensive phonebook. ' Hmmm...I guess Hyotei is in the first order of business.'

With Momo gone, they fell into another uneasy silence.

"We cannot trust Ohtori-kun to keep him preoccupied at the Academy. They knew each other so much that they were able to see through each other's plan." Oishi muttered.

"Oh I will do it!!" Eiji raised his hand enthusiastically. "I will take care of O'chibi."

Inui shook his head and gently pulled his boyfriend's hand down. "No you can't Eiji."

The redhead pouted. "Why?"

"Because Eiji-san is too loud. by voice alone they would be able to locate Ryoma-kun immediately." Kaidou supplied.

"Nya!!! Kaidou-kun is so mean!!!" Eiji wailed, causing Kaidou and Inui to sigh.

"I know someone whom Ryoma couldn't and wouldn't play games with." Taka suddenly announced, giving Oishi a meaningful look. "He's still cautious around that man."

'Hmm...who is he talking about?' Oishi asked himself. An image flashed in his head, making him jump off his chair.

"Yes that's it! U'll call him!" He grabbed his phone and quickly looked for that man's number. 'He better pick this up.'

forfeit

Sanada was wistfully staring at the flowers in the garden. This week brought back the spark in his life and he's enjoying how the tip of his fingers and toes still tingled.

'The only thing missing in this near-perfect life of mine is...'

"Still thinking about our flight home tomorrow?" Strong yet gentle arms embraced him from behind.

Sanada closed his eyes and leaned into the warmth Fuji was offering him. "Yes." They stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the wonderful scent of Atobe's garden. Yes, they were all staying in Atobe's luxurious country house. The said billionaire was no where in sight and Tezuka left for work. So that leaves the photographer and the teacher, currently with no jobs, to enjoy the serene place.

"Hey Syusuke." Sanada turned and pulled the tensai to his lap.

"Yes Gen?" The brunette in turn wrapped his arms around Sanada's neck.

"How do you suppose we talk to Ryoma." He knew he looked serious now, that's why Fuji opened his eyes to look at him directly. "I mean we can't just barge back into his life without any warning."

Fuji sighed. "I don't know how but i think everything will be ok once we see him." He gently raked his fingers through his raven locks.

"But what if he's not in a position to accept us again?"

Sapphire orbs narrowed a little. "What do you mean?"

Sanada sighed and gently held Fuji's hand. "U mean look at you, you got involved in a relationship during the span of time that we're apart. Don't you think Ryoma would've done the same thing?"

Fuji involuntarily tightened his hand around Sanada's. "My relationship with Ryoga was born out of my longing for Ryoma. You know that."

Sanada gently pried his hands from the tensai's grip to caress his beautiful face. "I know."

Fuji closed his eyes, willing his body to get rid of the sick feeling in his gut upon mentioning Ryoga's name. "I refuse to believe that Ryoma would see it best to love someone else other than us. I'm a very possessive person Gen. Even when we're apart I still consider all of you mine."

He opened his eyes again only to drown into Sanada's hazel eyes. "We need to be together to be whole."

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Fridays were always a drag for Ryoma. Three years of being a prized student of the Momogaoka Academy for Music and the Performing Arts has finally taken its toll on him.

"G-gomen, Ryuzaki-senpai!" Narumi Kazou, a kohai of his in the piano division muttered nervously when Ryoma abruptly stopped playing.

"Namuri-kun, Mozart's Piano Concierto for Two is not a piece of meat that you could butcher at will." Ryoma sighed in defeat. He's not supposed to be cranky like this but his headache was back and it's sucking his patience away.

Soft claps were heard behind them. "Now there is still time, my dear students." An old man with gentle green eyes stood up and clasped their shoulders. "You still have three weeks to perfect this piece."

Ryoma took deep breaths. "Fine sir. I apologize for our performance--"

"No!!" The blonde 2nd year protested. "It's all my fault senpai!"

Ryoma sighed and stood up. "Whatever." He placed his sheets inside his bag. "Don't forget about tonight's gig." With this, he stood up and left the room.

'Damn headache!' Ryoma mused as he hurried down the corridor. He was too preoccupied with the pain that he didn't notice the raven-haired man blocking his path.

"Better get my med-- ouch!" Ryoma cried when he forcefully bumped against the man. despite his hazy consciousness, he looked up only to gape at the man before him.

"A-Akaya?!"

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"Wow...I actually miss the scent of Japan." Keigo muttered aloud the moment his feet touched Japanese ground.

"Yeah. It's a bit of a nostalgic experience if you ask me." Tezuka, who just emerged from Atobe's personal jet, replied. Not far from them was the familiar black limousine waiting for them.

"This is going to be a very exciting day." Fuji muttered as he followed Tezuka. "I'm actually excited to meet the old crowd."

A soft chuckle followed behind just as Sanada emerged from the jet. "I can relate. But I'm most excited to meet a certain golden-eyed man."

"We all are." Atobe said once they were all gathered by the steps. He studied each one of them, a small smile plastered on his lips. "Are you ready to search for the missing piece of our puzzle?"

"Yes."

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(Atobe's private jet just landed.) - Yuushi

Oishi sighed and took a deep breath. 'Here we go. I hope we can keep them away long enough to allow Kirihara to hide Ryoma.' He massaged the creases on his forehead and shifted his weight from one foot to another while waiting for the foursome to emerge from the tarmac.

Suddenly, his conversation with Kirihara came to him.

_"I don't this is a good idea Oishi-san." _

_Oishi took a deep breath while gripping his phone tight. "Look kid, you hurt the boy before when you left him. I think you better weigh up the situation and be a man for once." He gritted his teeth as silence came to the other end of the line._

_A sigh. "Fine...but I'm not sure how well I can protect him from those guys Oishi-san. Hell! I don't even know if i can even talk to him without falling apart." _

_Oishi bit his lip. "Please Kirihara-kun...do it for Ryoma. I know you loved him dearly and he needs this. Please." _

"Oh only you came? Where are my admirers?" That haughty voice broke into his concentration. He closed his eyes as he tried to buy some time for him to compose his thoughts.

"Stop it Keigo." That voice made Oishi turn around. He tried his best to maintain his smile as Tezuka and Fuji immediately grabbed him for a tight embrace.

"It has been so long Oishi." Tezuka muttered.

"Yeah...look at you! You look so different!" Fuji smiled genuinely at the mother hen.

Oishi was still tongue-tied. Five years flew by and here he was, standing before his " old friends". "T-thanks Fuji. You look not a year older than 20." He replied. He peered past Tezuka and saw Sanada gave him a court nod while Atobe scoffed.

"Enough with the dramatic reunion ok?" Atobe snapped. "We have a person to find and I believe you can help us with that, Oishi-kun."

Oishi sweat-dropped. 'Those guys better do their jobs or else...' He swallowed hard, not wanting to imagine his fate.'

"Ah y-yeah right."

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The two walked in silence along the crowded halls of the Bear Museum. Neither spoke another word since they left Ryoma's school. Ryoma stopped and sat on a bench next to a life-sized teddy bear and Akaya sat next to him.

"I haven't seen you for a while." Ryoma was the one to break the silence. He gave Akaya side glance and he noticed how anxious his ex-boyfriend seemed. "Are you ok?"

Kirihara sighed. "Yes, I was sent to Singapore to study." His badly-suppressed smile made Ryoma's brow arc up.

"Hmmm something's not right here." The raven-haired boy narrowed his eyes. "Is this some kind of a gag or something? I mean, you disappeared like a ghost and now you're back like nothing happened." Ryoma sighed and averted his gaze. "Did someone put you through this?"

Kirihara shook his head, sweat-dropping. "N-no! Why would you say that? Do I not have the right to visit my ex-boyfriend? What about the time we shared together?"

Ryoma smiled bitterly. "The time we shared together Akaya was a one-month game which ended with an unfinished business in bed." His golden eyes flickered from Akaya to his hands. "The moment I told you I can't--"

"Fine, fine." Kirihara raised his hands as a signed of defeat. "I'm the bad man. I know that." Then his green eyes softened as he reached for Ryoma's clammy hands. "I'm not looking for a relationship again Ryoma for I know I'm most unworthy for you. I'm just here to keep you company."

Ryoma was mesmerized by his emerald orbs for a moment until Kirihara's words came to him once more.

_"I'm here to keep you company."_

"Wait." Ryoma snatched his hand from Kirihara's grip. "Did Syuichiro-san ask you to do this?" His cat-like eyes narrowed in anger.

Kirihara gaped at him. His lips moved but no sound came out.

Ryoma sighed in exasperation. "Thanks guys." He spat out. "Thanks for making me feel more helpless than usual." He made a move to leave but Kirihara grabbed his hand.

"It's not what you think it is Ryoma." he said. "Your Oishi-senpai is just worried that you might stress yourself out--"

"Do you think I'm not stressing myself right now?!" The sudden raise in his voice made people stop and stare at them. He sighed. "Thanks for the time Akaya. Really...I don't need this right now."

Akaya reached out and pulled the smaller man into his embrace, not caring if the other visitors were staring at them. "Please...don't do this to yourself and to them." He muttered against Ryoma's hair. "They only want to protect you."

Ryoma closed his eyes. 'Protect me from what?' He asked his self as his headache returned. A thought came to him which made him gasp and stare up to Kirihara in surprise.

"They're here aren't they?"

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Atobe is in not mood to be festive. Yes he wanted a grand welcome for their return but it seemed like the gentle doctor was playing games with them. He studied the faces of his three other lovers and he can tell that they're not so happy about the "gentle doctor" anymore. The said culprit is currently talking to someone on the phone about drugs and all.

"I will sign the order when I get back ok?" Oishi muttered nervously to the person on the other line. In his visual periphery he could tell that the four were not in a happy mood anymore. "Yes, if she's still in pain, call me and we will evaluate if we're going to install a PCA."

Tezuka studied his friend closely and he noticed that the man was hiding something from them. 'Or someone.' His brain supplied. He scanned the place where they ended up. It was a small park in the outskirts of Tokyo, over-looking a serene lake.

He caught sight of Sanada who was studying the doctor closely as well.

"Ok bye." Oishi pocketed his phone and looked up, only to meet the angry glares of the newcomers.

"You can stop the games now Oishi." Fuji muttered, the aura around him grew darker by the second. "It's not funny anymore"

"Yeah." Atobe greeted, his eyes narrowing. "I mean we only asked you to take us to Ryoma and yet you brought us to Hyotei, then to Seigaku and worst of all, Rikkai!!!" The diva wasn't able to control his anger. He was about to launch himself on the doctor but Sanada grabbed him first.

"Calm down Keigo." Sanada hissed at him. He then turned his attention towards the green-eyed doctor who was looking so anxious earlier. this time, however, Oishi's eyes reflected animosity and anger. "Please Oishi-kun. Just tell us where to start looking and we'll go our own way."

Oishi sighed. 'It had to come to this.' He searched his head for possible excuses and explanations he prepared for cases like this.

Tezuka pushed his glasses up. "I don't know what compelled you to do this but I'm begging you. Just please tell us where Ryoma is and we won't bother you for the rest of the day."

Atobe stared at Tezuka in disbelief. For a stoic, proud man like Tezuka, begging like this is equivalent to kneeling before the doctor.

Oishi took a deep breath. He averted his gaze and focused it on his hands. "I guess I need to be honest with you now." He looked up again to meet their accusing stares.

"We don't think it's best that you meet up with Ryoma-kun." He paused when he heard Atobe's over-reactive gasp. "That's why we did this." He leaned against a tree for support. It seemed like his energy had been drained.

"Oishi, how could you..." Fuji muttered, hurt was very eminent in his face.

Oishi shook his head. "You don't know what happened after you left him on his own. "His once-gentle emerald orbs shined with anger. "That is why you cannot question us for doing this for him."

Tezuka cleared his throat. Seeing the hatred in his friend's eyes pained him but his attention right now is solely focused on Ryoma. "Then why are we here?" He asked.

Oishi took a deep breath and beckoned them to follow him. "To see Ryuzaki-sensei."

Fuji snapped from his killing mode upon hearing their beloved coach's name. "She's residing here? Why?" He asked as they followed the doctor into the edge of the part where a lush, green Sakura tree stood in solitude while surrounded by a white wooden fence.

"Oishi." Tezuka called but the doctor remained silent. They walked past the entrance of the fence and approached the regal tree.

"I thought you're not playing games with us anymore." Sanada asked, annoyance finally claimed him as they stared stupidly at the incense holder nestled between the tree's strong roots.

Oishi sighed and took out an incense candle from his clinical coat and placed it in the holder.

"I'm not playing games with you Sanada-kun." He kneeled and said a little prayer before he stood up to face them.

"Here is where Ryuzaki-sensei resides...or rather where her remains were buried."

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Ryoma took a deep breath the moment he closed the door behind him. He and Kirihara decided to spend the day out since it is indeed a smart plan for him to avoid his ex-boyfriends. He threw his bag on the sofa, concluding the Ohtori's not in the house. He went inside his room and flopped down on his bed.

He caught glimpse of the watch.

5:23 pm...

'Those four could've searched the entire city by now.' He mused. He could feel his heart beating faster at the mention of his former lovers. He grimaced. "I shouldn't feel this way." He rubbed his hands on his face. "I can't let myself be distracted by them. I only have months...probably weeks left and I cannot fail."

He opened his eyes and caught glimpse of the photos of the Echizens taped on the wall. He stood up and yanked the family picture off.

"You better prepare yourselves for the ride of you lives..." He slowly crumpled the picture.

" Ouka-san...Otou-san..." His eyes lingered on Ryoga's face.

"Hello Onii-san...are you ready for me?"

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The four of them settled on a bench, while watching kids play in the double's court they used to play in on the past. The reality just blew up on their faces and it took them time to finally grasp it.

"She's dead...why didn't anyone tell us?" Fuji muttered, brushing off a tear that escaped his eyes. He felt a warm hand grasp his. He looked up and saw Tezuka, still stoic as ever.

"You know what this means Syusuke." Tezuka muttered. This was one of the times he thank himself for being such a cold-looking person. After shedding a considerable amount of tears, he was able to compose his self.

"It means that we need to find Ryoma." Sanada muttered, placing a comforting hand on their shoulders. "We need to see him."

Keigo just stared at the kids playing on the courts. He had been quiet the entire ride back to Tokyo central.

'Why didn't we anticipate this to happen?' He mused as he watched an eight year-old kid tried to do a smash. 'If we had, we would've stayed. Ryuzaki-sensei is Ryoma's only family. Now that she's gone...'

"R-Ryo..."

He snapped back into reality upon hearing Sanada gasped. He followed his line of vision and indeed, standing not far from them, was Ryoma...or someone who looked exactly like him.

He staggered to get up and was about to run towards the man when Fuji grabbed him.

" Ryoga."

The man heard him and turned his attention towards the foursome. His smile faltered upon realized who called him and who this person was with.

"Syusuke."

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A/N: Kirihara was Ryoma's past flame. As what was stated in this chapter, it only lasted for a month. The reason for that will be revealed in the future chapters. I didn't elaborate how Oishi mislead the OT4...it'll be lengthy and my carpal tunnel is acting up again.

Oh yeah...PCA stands for Patient Controlled Anesthesia

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. the untouchable

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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Ryoga couldn't believe what he was seeing. Not far from him stood the one person whom he love dearly. He never expected to see Fuji again. He just came to the park to do some exercise.

He studied the faces of his ex-lover's companions. Each one of them was striking in his own way. By the way they stood together he could tell that something more than friendship is shared between them.

"It's nice to see you again." Fuji extended a hand to him which he reluctantly accepted.

Ryoga closed his eyes the moment he felt the warmth of Fuji's hand once more. They had been apart for a month or so and he still couldn't deny how much he misses this warmth. "Same here." He replied.

Atobe stared at the connected between them. 'So this is Syusuke's cheap replacement for Ryoma.' He couldn't help but frown. 'He looks just like Ryoma only older. This is weird.'

Sanada was in no better position as he watched the exchange of pleasantries occur before him. 'This is the person whom Fuji used to replace Ryoma.' He studied the man with scrutinizing eyes. 'I had to admit, they look so alike.'

Tezuka remained stoic the whole time. He knew the guy. He was a famous model in Australia. He saw the two in the television. 'It was two years Kunimitsu. You can't just erase it.'

"So these are?" Ryoga turned his gaze towards Fuji's companions.

"Oh!" Fuji gasped. He almost forgot he was with them. "These are my--"

"Boyfriends." Sanada cut him off, placing emphasis on the word. "We are his boyfriends."

Ryoga gaped at them. His gaze turned to Fuji. "Are you serious--"

Fuji smiled sadly. "We were together for six years even before I met you Ryoga." His sapphire orbs reflected guilt and sadness. " And we kinda rekindled the old flame."

"Do you have any problems with it?" Atobe asked, placing his arms on his hips.

"Keigo, stop it." Tezuka warned the diva. "I apologize for his rudeness."

'Boyfriends.' The thought came to him again, giving him a sinking feeling in his gut. He snapped back into reality and shook his head. "No, it's ok. i'm sorry if I came out rather rude." He tried his best to put up a decent smile. "I have nothing against it."

"Good." Atobe scoffed.

Fuji sighed. "How are you doing Ryo--"

"Echizen." Ryoga pointed out to him. "It's Echizen now. And I'm doing fine. My doctor said that gradually increase in activity will help my heart recover."

"Recover?" Sanada asked. "Are you sick?"

Ryoga's smile faltered. "Ahh let's not talk about that. How about you? You look like you scanned every nook and cranny of this city."

Tezuka sighed. "In fact we did. We just arrived this morning and we have been looking for someone the whole day."

"Well, our bar is not far from here. You can stay there and rest." Ryoga smiled. "It might become a little rowdy since it's band night tonight but it's still a cool place."

"Really? I would love to!" Fuji smiled. He turned to his lovers and eyed them pleadingly.

"You were former tennis players here right? My father said that most tennis players your age who played in the circuit before were his patrons already."

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Ryoma emerged from the bathroom just in time when his cell phone started ringing. He picked it up and saw Oishi's name flashing on the screen.

Ryoma sighed. He kept his emotions in check, not wanting to explode on the gentle doctor.

"Yes Syuichiro-san?" He asked.

"Where are you right now?" Oishi asked.

"Home. I'm preparing for the gig. Why?" The raven-haired man asked despite the fact that he already knew the reason.

"Nothing. Just asking." Oishi replied nervously.

Ryoma sat down on the sofa and sighed. "I know what you did for me Syuichiro-san. And even though I don't quite agree with your methods, I want to thank you for doing this. You were right," He stared at the wall where the pictures used to be. "I needed this."

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Oishi sighed upon hearing Ryoma's voice. He could almost imagine how the man looked right now.

"I didn't mean to bring Kirihara-kun in the picture. It's just that you need to keep your mind off things for a while." He said.

"I know. I'm feeling better now."

Oishi looked at his watch. 6:30 pm. The gig starts at ten. "I just want to let you know that they are already here and they knew you are hiding. I was with them the whole day, trying to distract them from actually trying to find you."

"Thanks Syuichiro-san. You've always been there looking after me. I can't thank you enough." There was a lengthy pause on the other line. "It's just that I'd have to face them sooner or later. I can't hide forever."

Oishi sighed. "It's ok. Just whatever happens, we're behind you all the time."

"Thank you." A pause again. "Can you call Yukimura-san for me? My headache is back and I'm running out of my medications. I need a new prescription."

Oishi froze. 'The headache...oh my god. It's starting.' He had to clear his throat as something seemed to have been stuck in there. "O-ok. I'll tell him to bring you a new prescription tonight."

"Ok thank you."

Oishi's hand limply fell as the truth suddenly rubbed him of his strength.

_"But I do believe that soon we must all face the truth that I'd have to leave you eventually." _

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When the five stepped inside the bar, an eerie silence met them. As they ventured furthere into the place, they started recognizing faces.

"Niou's here and so is Kirihara nd Jackal." Sanada muttered to Atobe the moment the lights hit those men's faces.

Atobe's eyes narrowed when he found what Sanada was telling him. "I can see Jirou and Oshitari as well."

Fuji's eyes narrowed. 'They've seen us...I know that they did. So why are they ignoring us?' He asked himself. He caught Tezuka's eyes and he too, looked confused.

"You can go ahead and seat there." Ryoga's voice broke into their reverie. The raven-haired man ushered them to a cozy table not very far from the stage.

A waiter immediately approached them to take their orders.

"Ryoga-san, your father is looking for you." The said waiter whispered to him. The golden-eyed man nodded.

"Excuse me for a while." Ryoga smiled at them before disappearing into the growing crowd. the moment the he disappeared, Atobe let out a sigh of irritation.

"Damn it Syusuke, why him?" He muttered in outrage.

Fuji sighed and looked away. "I can't help it Keigo." Warm arms engulfed him. He looked up and stared into Sanada's hazel eyes. "He looked too familiar for me to ignore."

Tezuka sighed. "Let's drop the subject ok?" He raked a hand through his hair. "The guys are defenitely in an agreement to keep Ryoma away from us. This means we have to find him ourselves."

Sanada frowned. "Too much conspiracy is going on behind our backs."

"Oh Atobe!"

They turned only to see a yawning Jirou standing by the bar.

"I missed you when you dropped by Hyotei earlier." The blond boy drawled.

Atobe, who's adrenaline level is high due to irritation immediately grabbed the man and pushed him to sit with them. Fuji and Sanada instantly moved to trap him between the four of them.

"What--?!"

"Now talk." Atobe glared at him as their drinks were being served.

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On the other side of the bar sat Niou with Kirihara and Jackal. Next to them was Oshitari who came in with Jirou and is currently waiting for his own lover, Oishi to arrive.

"The nerve of them to be here." Niou spat out after draining his beer mug. "Damn it!"

"Calm down Niou." Jackal told his friend. "I know you care for your boyfriend's best friend but I think we better let Ryuzaki-kun handle this on his own."

Kirihara was only half-listening to him as he was frowing at the foursome. His eyes drifted particularly on his former fukubuchou. 'I wonder how will he react if he finds out Ryoma and I got together.' He took a sip from his mug and frowned even more. "Poor Ryo."

Niou and Jackal who were in an arguement stopped and stared at him.

"Poor indeed." Oishitari drawled from the table next to theirs. "Syuichiroh's been on edge for weeks. That man has no one but us."

Jackal sighed. "But don't you think we're over-protective? I mean, Ryuzaki-kun's never the one to be pitied nor he posed as a needy person." His eyes darted from Fuji's table to his friends. "Don't you think he's strong enough to deal with his problems?"

"He's not strong senpai." Kirihara glared at him. "No matter how hard he tries to look strong, Ryoma's very fragile inside." His eyes then drifted back to Sanada's figure.

"You don't know the half of it."

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The moment Ryoga stepped inside the office, his mother, Rinko immediately fawned at him.

"Oh my god, are you ok?" Rinko asked, worry etched on her face. "We have been calling your phone for like ages!"

Ryoga sighed and gently pried himself from his mother's grip. "I'm fine mom." He muttered. he saw his father, Nanjiroh sitting behind the supervisor's desk, sporting a the same worried intensity. "Oyaji."

Nanjiroh sighed. "How are you feeling Ryoga?" He asked. "You know very much that you musn't exhaust yourself."

Ryoga suddenly felt irritation crawling up his veins. "But Oyaji! I'm not supposed to tie myself to a bed the whole day either!"

Nanjiroh stood up and placed his hands on his son's shoulders. "You have to understand Ryoga. We have already lost a son...we don't want to lose one again."

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"Why are you attacking me?" Jirou complained while staring at their looming faces.

"Because everyone's trying to hide Ryoma from us!" Atobe seethed. It was a good thing that the music inside the establishment was gradually getting louder, masking his outraged cries.

Jirou sighed. "You can't blame them." He grabbed Atobe's drink and drank it in one gulp. he raised the glass up the air. " Empty!!" It was immediately replaced by a new one.

"Why?" Tezuka asked. "I don't understand why they're so mad at us. It's not like they liked Ryoma to that extant to do this."

"Two or three might be considered but majority of you guys? That's impossible." Fuji added.

Jirou bit his lip and cast a look back to his original table, his place now being taken my Oishi. "It's because we feel for the man, Fuji. I mean you all left. What's he supposed to do?"

"But it was a mutual break up." Sanada reasoned out.

Jirou shook his head. "Yes it was but you never gave him a choice but to concede."

"What?" Atobe asked.

"I mean, look." The blond sighed. "Your problem was you already made plans for yourselves behind his back. You had everything perfect and the only thing left to do is tell him. Now how do you suppose he would feel?" He studied their shocked faces. "See?"

"you're right." Fuji gasped.

Sanada cast his eyes downward. "He didn't have any choice but to agree."

Tezuka took a sip from his glass. "Given that you were right, still that doesn't answer our question. Why is everybody pitching in to hide him."

Jirou stood up. "Look, you left him, his grandmother died, he--" Jirou bit his tongue. 'They're not supposed to know.' He pushed back his chair.

"He what?" Atobe asked.

"Why do you just go straight for the secondary information." Jirou snapped back at him, getting annoyed already.

"The problem is no one wants to tell us anything!" Atobe pointed out.

The door opened and squeals were heard.

"Why don't you ask Ohtori-kun." Jirou smiled. "He and Ryuzaki-kun are living together." He turned and left, not needing to see their expressions. 'Why should I? I already know.'

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"Thanks for giving me a ride Yukimura-san." Ryoma smiled at the doctor timidly after he loaded his instruments into the back compartment.

The teal-haired man just smiled back. "Oishi-kun told me you needed your prescription and I figured that you wouldn't want to receive it in public so I decided to drop it off personally." They drove out of the duplex's driveway.

Ryoma studied himself in the side-view mirror. 'Not bad Ryoma. You look nice for a dying person.'

"You know one surgery could easily cure your problem." Yukimura suddenly announced, making Ryoma snort.

"Thanks but no thanks Doctor." He said. "Dont want it. Don't need it."

Yukimura chuckled at the man's statement. "No Ryoma-kun. You need it, you just don't want it."

Ryoma's golden eyes narrowed in suspiscion. "I just noticed that you are not so hell-bent in convincing me to get that surgery unlike Syuichiro-san. Why?"

Yukimura smiled, his eyes still glued on the road. "I know when a person cannot be converted to accept my views."

Ryoma scoffed. "More like you're the king of passive aggresiva."

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On how they managed to keep Ohtori from leaving their table without personally gluing him to the chair, Sanada wondered. 'Or maybe he's kind nature and respect for his former senpai-tachi still exist.' His delight on the young man was not acquired by his other lovers though.

"Why are you living with our Ryoma?" Fuji asked, eyes beckoning grave danger.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?" Tezuka added.

"And why you, of all people?" Atobe injected.

Ohtori just waited out the storm. He turned to Sanada and smiled at the man. "Are you not planning to add something to the tirade?"

Sanada shook his head. "I think they already asked what I was going to ask."

Ohtori sighed. "We share a duplex unit. He took me in when I left my parents' House for good. We're classmates in the music academy."

"So nothing's going on between the two of you?" Atobe asked again.

"Define "going on between the two of us". Of course there is, we're friends, we interact--"

"We get it Ohtori-kun. Don't play the dumb card on us." Tezuka cut him off.

Ohtori sighed. A shadow loomed behind them. He looked up and saw Niou standing behind him with a frown. "What's going on here?"

"Haru-san." Ohtori smiled and stood up. "I have to go and prepare for the gig."

"Wait!" Sanada grabbed his arm. "Why did he quit tennis?"

Ohtori frowned and gently pried his arm from the man's tight grip. "I'm not in the position to tell you anything about that. If you want you can ask him--"

"Oi Choutarou! I thought you told them not to be late?!" Ryoma, followed by Yukimura yelled, parting the squealing crowd before him and the said man.

Tezuka's jaw dropped when he saw Ryoma, the real Ryuzaki Ryoma standing before them with his golden, cat-like eyes almost glowing, his now-long ebony locks tied into a pony tail, his... 'Should I say more? He's perfect!' Tezuka's brain supplied.

Atobe couldn't believe what he was seeing. After years of agony and guilt, finally...the person whom he had been pining for the most was now standing right before him. He felt warmth in his eyes and his throat dry. He tried to work out his name but none came. 'Ryoma...my Ryoma.'

Sanada felt his whole body tensed up. He wanted to grab the ethereal being before him. Soon every memory of a kiss, hug, nights of passion came back to him in an explosion that shook him to the core. "Ryoma." He stood up abruptly.

'Oh no!' Ryoma winced internally. 'I said I had to meet them soon but this is too soon!' He tried to put up the best facade he could think of and smiled vaguely at the foursome.

Fuji has tears rolling down his cheeks. Yes, he does. His fingers were shaking a little. 'It aches...my whole body aches for a touch.' Fuji bit his lips and he stood up shakily.

"Gen!" Yukimura broke through the tension and grabbed his best friend in a strong hug. "Whatever you're planning, he won't succumb. I'm just warning you."

Sanada froze at that whispered statement. He stared at the teal-haired man in disbelief.

Tawny eyes met hazel ones in an intense stare. Yukimura broke off from the former Rikkai's fukubuchou and smiled at the rest.

"What's going on here?" Ryoga's voice boomed into the room. It was then that they noticed that the music died down and everyone was staring at them. The other golden-eyed man reappeared and stared at the current staring game in confusion.

"Ryoma-kun." Oishi immediately grabbed Ryoma's arm. But the young man smiled up the doctor and gently eased his arm from his grip, mouthing "I'm fine" to the man.

"So you finally met the famous Ryuzaki Ryoma." Ryoga bit down the spite from his voice. he turned to Fuji and saw his love-sick expression. He felt his heart dropped unto his gut. 'Don't tell me--'

"Ryoma." Ohtori approached the shorter man. "Your senpai-tachi had been waiting for ages." He placed emphasis on the word "senpai-tachi" while glancing at the four.

"I know." That deep baritone voice sent shivers to the listeners. He brushed off the stubborn locks off his his face and walked towards their table.

"Nice seeing you again, senpai." Ryoma bowed to show respect. His eyes lazily drifted to the bespectacled brunette. "Buchou...seems like you hadn't changed a bit."

Before anyone could react, Ryoga stepped forward and gentry grabbed Ryoma by the arm, his fingers slowly digging into Ryoma's flesh. "I guess you knew each other in the past." he smiled bitterly. "He's the leader of the in-house band, Backlash."

Ryoma in turn not-so-gently yanked his arm from Ryoga's grip and smiled up to the man. "I don't need to be man-handled Ryoga, thank you." He then turned to his perturbed ex-lovers and smiled at them.

"I see you managed to put the pieces of your puzzle together." Golden orbs blinked back the hurt.

"Good for you."

He turned on his heels and grabbed Ohtori on the way. "Why are they late?! Damn it!"

Ohtori sighed and let himself be lead away by the seething cat-eyed boy. "Ryoma, your concept of being early is being here before you do--" He felt the man's grip tightening around his arm. He looked down and saw wet stain on Ryoma's cheeks. "Oh no..." he titled his head to get one last look at the foursome.

'It hurts so much seeing them together.' Ryoma stopped himself from wiping the tears off his cheeks. "It's ok...j-just get me o-out of here for a while."

Ohtori eased Ryoma's hand from his arm and held it firmly in his. "Ok." He lead the young man to the band room, wanting to hide him from the pain as fast as he could.

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No one moved an inch after that brisk departure. It was as if they were frozen in time, preserving this precious live snapshot of life.

"So you finally saw him." Niou broke the silence. His blue eyes gleamed dangerously, imitating Fuji's dark aura. "You must understand now that getting to him would not be as easy as before." His hand tightened on the chair Ohtori had been occupying.

"Hurt him and I'll personally make you suffer for the rest of your lives."

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Ryoga retreated into the men's room and locked his self in one of the cubicles.

"Damn it!" he cursed. "Why didn't I notice it before?!" He resisted the urge to bang his head on the door as tears freely trickled down his face.

_"I see you managed to put the pieces of your puzzle together." _

He angrily wiped the tears away, ignoring the fleeting pain in his chest. 'How could've been so stupid?!' In his head he kept on comparing his self to Ryoma, their similarities and Fuji's look of longing.

_"I'm really sorry Ryoga but I just can't force myself to keep on making you believe that I'm totally committed into this relationship."_

Robed of energy, he slowly slumped back into the floor. "It was him whom you love all along...it was him...not me."

Ryoma's face again flashed in his mind, making his grit his teeth. "Ryuzaki Ryoma...I will make you pay dearly for this." Golden orbs gleamed in anger. "It was because of you that Syusuke played me for that long."

"No one makes a fool out of an Echizen."

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A/N: It's Christmas time! It's Christmas time! A time for dawn masses and sweet-flavored rice puddings. dances around

Anyway...so now you have an insight of the side of the Echizens regarding Ryoma. But one of the things that helps complicate this story more is the Ryoga/Fuji past and now Ryoga's out to make Ryoma's life a living hell...it's the war of two dead men walking. And yeah...I used the manga-version of Jirou here that's why he's blonde.

Next chapter might probably be the start of the attempts to reconcile the OT5...I'm planning not to exceed 15 or 20 chapters for this story...hmm probably 15. I just hope I don't lose that spirit again. sighs and reminisces on her past with Forgotten Heroes

PS: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IF YOU WANT SONGS TO BE INCORPORATE DIN THIS STORY. TELL ME OK?

IF YOU WANT MORE...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!


	7. enstranged attachment

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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It was an evening full of drama. Ever since Ryoma left their table, the four were unable to grasp the reality that was already fleeting away form their hands. Ryoma's more beautiful than before. Ryoma is bitter. Ryoma was hurt. Ryoma...Ryoma...

The name kept echoing inside their heads for the whole time especially when Ryoma's band went up stage and started performing. The man seemed to have put his soul in every song that he sang. The man was gorgeous...in his silent agony.

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The four went home, weary and hurt. No one dared to speak while they prepared for bed...back inside the same room that they occupied as one big happy circle five years ago.

"This is going to be very hard." Sanada muttered against the pillow after he threw his body on the bed. "I could almost feel his anger seething from his very pores."

Fuji sighed and slid next to him. He let himself be pulled against the man's warmth. "In due time Gen." He wanted to make his self believe the words he uttered. "We'll find a way to get him back."

The sound of the shower being turned on lulled the two to sleep.

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Tezuka restrained his self from banging his head on the bathroom tiles. Resentment...anger...guilt...his emotions right now were all thrown askew the moment he laid eyes on the golden-eyed man.

_"I see you managed to put the pieces of your puzzle together."  
_

_"Good for you." _

Tezuka gritted his teeth. "This is all my fault." He muttered. He closed his eyes as he let the warm water gushed on him.

"_Didn't you realize that Ryoma's holding back from entering the professional tournaments because he doesn't want to part from us? He's ignoring his dreams because of us."_

'Damn tennis! Why did I even bother?' He bit his lip hard. 'Ryoma...I need you back. I love you...' He bit hard until we was able to taste blood. 'I'm sorry...oh god I'm so sorry.'

Tezuka opened his eyes, not realizing that he was already crying. "I'd give up everything to get you back and be whole again."

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Atobe knew that his lovers were probably waiting for him to join them for bed but he felt no trace of sleep in his system. Their chance meeting with Ryoma had been etched in his memory forever.

_"I see you managed to put the pieces of your puzzle together."  
_

His trembling hand brought the wine glass to his lips and allowed him to take a sip of that bitter, intoxicating liquid.

"You're wrong, Kitten. Our puzzle still has a missing piece. You're like the annoying little piece which always ended up lost or lying in some dusty corner." Atobe's eyes scanned the vast blanket of stars above him.

_"No one cheated. No one was physically hurt. We just need to go on separately…that's all." _

_Keigo gaped at him. "So you're not mad?" _

_Ryoma sighed. "I can never hold you back from being happy Keigo." _

"What if my happiness is you?" Atobe asked out loud. He wanted so much to shed the tears he had been suppressing earlier but none came. All he felt was a suffocating twinge of pain in his heart.

"Will you hold me back from having the most coveted thing in the world you call Happiness?"

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The previous night was hell for the golden-eyed man. Not only that the memories of his past with those four kept on flashing in his dreams, he woke up with a headache increasing in intensity.

"Easy Ryo..." Ohtori muttered worriedly when he found the man bent over the toilet bowl, sounding like he wanted to vomit his viscera out. He gently rubbed his back in slow soothing circles as Ryoma gasped for breath. "You better not come to school today."

Ryoma moaned in protest when Ohtori hoisted him up as his legs felt like jelly. With pain almost cracking his head open, he struggled to maintain control over his body and tried to sit up when Ohtori laid him back on his bed.

"You are such a hard-headed brat." Ohtori snapped at him while searching the contents of his medicine drawer.

"'m out." Ryoma muttered weakly as he tried to focus his vision. Everything seemed to spin in an endless circle.

Ohtori cursed under his breath. He searched Ryoma's bag and got the new prescription Yukimura made for him. "Stay here. I'm going out to buy this stuff." He was about to leave the bedside when Ryoma's clammy hand shot up and grabbed his.

"Why bother?" Came a murmured inquiry.

Ohtori fought back the tears as he watched his sick friend. He was pale as snow, taking shallow but rapid breaths. "I'm not letting you die in my charge." He gently reached out to brush off the sweat-soaked locks off Ryoma's forehead.

"And you said that you still have a lot of things to do."

Ryoma smiled weakly and slowly eased his grip on his friend's arm. " Alright...I'll wait right here." He closed his eyes again...soon falling into sleep.

Ohtori stood there for a moment and watched as Ryoma's breathing became normal. He brushed back the tears that welled in his eyes.

"I'm not ready to let you go yet."

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Tezuka and the others went their separate ways to tackle the day ahead of them. He was asked to give a speech in Atobe's law firm for the day.

As expected, the news of having the admirable Tezuka Kunimitsu conducting a talk drew in more attention that he expected...and wanted.

"Tezuka-san, there's someone who wants to talk to you." One of his assistants told him. The bespectacled man who collapsed on the couch groaned.

"If it's a reporter, don't bother." He muttered as his head gently ached.

"He said he's an old acquaintance."

Tezuka sighed. "Ok. send him in." He smoothed out his coat, mentally preparing his self for the upcoming ordeal. 'An old acquaintance who actually wanted to talk to me. that's new.' He gazed at the window. 'Most of my so-called acquaintances here already shunned us out of their lives.'

The door gently opened, signaling the arrival of this "guest".

"Shake me hard and yet I'm still amazed that it's Tezuka, the tennis player, who stood up there."

Tezuka froze. The voice registered deep into his memory. He turned around only to meet the wrinkled smiling face of an old reporter friend.

"Inoue-san!"

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"So you're telling me that to get this venture through the market, we need to hire this model for Fuji Syusuke to shoot?" Atobe glared at every member of the advertising department he was in a meeting with.

The bespectacled director nodded. "He's still on the top bid for advertising campaigns. Given that for an unknown reason they're trying to limit exposure, we can't deny the fact that Echizen Ryoga is the best model to fit the image of the company."

Atobe fought back the snide remark that was trying to escape from his throat. 'Ryoma's more handsome than this cheap imitation.' He rubbed the crease between his eyebrows warily. "Can't we get anyone else? I mean Kikumaru Eiji is bankable and so is Niou Masaharu, who's one of Japan's top tennis players." He suppressed the frown that was starting to form on his lips.

'Don't you realize that I simply just don't like this man?' He added mentally.

The department head shook his head. "This is for the company, Atobe-sama. Think about it. Kikuramu-san and Niou-san maybe cute and have high affinity to the teen population but the project is hardly for teenyboppers."

Atobe stared at the proposal papers before him once again. A picture of Ryoga was included in the folder. He took the picture out and studied it carefully. 'I guess that couldn't be helped.' His obsidian eyes narrowed. 'But if you dare touch Syusuke, I'll personally cut your hands off.'

"Fine." He took his pen and signed the proposal.

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Fuji studied Sanada carefully while he put on the coat. He wanted so much to pounce on the man but he said that he's going to an important job interview.

"Tell me again why you opt not to take Keigo's offer for a position in the company?" Fuji asked while watching Sanada struggle with a tie.

"Damn it." Sanada softly cursed. "I didn't study hard just to feed on my lovers' palms Syu." He tried to re-tie but still not luck. He felt the tensai approached and gently took the tie from him. "I want to be the best in my field without the help of others. You know that."

Fuji smiled softly and he tied the offensive thing. "I understand and you're so sexy and dominant that way."

Sanada glared at the smiling brunette. "Syusuke, I told you you're not getting my pants off when I just finished putting it on."

Fuji chuckled and placed a soft kiss on those inviting lips. "I know. can I come with you?"

Sanada sighed. "Syusuke."

Fuji straightened out his collar. "I won't bother you while you go to your meeting. I'll just roam around and wait for you to finish. It's lonely here without you guys."

Sanada studied the handsome face before him and felt his resolve broke. "Fine but no playing games with the students ok?"

Fuji beamed at him. "Don't worry. I won't cause havoc in Momogaoka Academy for Music and the Performing Arts."

"Not until you're hired as the hottest English professor anyway."

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After persuading Ohtori to go to school and feeling relatively better after taking his medicines, Ryoma went out and went to Oshitari's office for a little chat.

"Are you sure about this, Ryuzaki-kun?" Sharp, scrutinizing eyes studied him like a hawk as the golden-eyed man studied the document before him.

"As my lawyer Oshitari-san, you seem rather soft." Ryoma smirked. "Has living with Syuichiro-san influenced you that much." He muttered while twirling a pen in his fingers.

Oshitari sighed. "This is a serious matter Echizen. You are signing this document as if you're--"

"Willing to throw my life away?" Ryoma finished for him.

"Yes." Oshitari breathed. "As your lawyer, I'm asking you to reconsider."

Ryoma sighed and started writing on the document. Silence reigned inside Oshitari's office while the young man scribbled on the paper. He sighed and pushed the documents back to the bespectacled man who studied the document silently.

A sad smile crept up Ryoma's lips as he watched the changing expression on the lawyer's face. "I'm not THAT willing, Oshitari-san." He stood up and started for the door.

"Just draft my bill on my account exclusively set up for legal matters." Golden orbs flashed back to him, sadness hinting in them. "You always know what to do...as always."

Oshitari was speechless as he watched the door closed. It took him a few seconds to recover and stamped the documents official as bitterly as he could.

'I wanted so much to rip these papers into millions of pieces but I have no right to do that.' He sighed and studied the headings.

"I'm just his lawyer after all." He traced the heading with his fingers before gathering it up and placed it back to his file cabinet, placing it in the category of DO NOT RESUSCITATE requests and ORGAN DONOR Agreements.

He slumped back on his over-stuffed chair. "Syuichiro's not gonna like this at all."

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"It's been a long time since we last saw each other, Inoue-san." Tezuka gave the man a small smile as the gentle aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted around the room.

"Yes, indeed." Inoue smiled back. "I've retired from journalism and am currently enjoying my time with my tennis store."

Tezuka studied the man carefully. Even though the years took it's toll on the man, he's still the eager reporter he knew eleven years ago. "So I could safely assume that everything's going along just fine, Inoue-san."

"Yes, you can." The old man replied. "I heard from Kawamura's father that you arrived yesterday."

Tezuka nodded. "Just so you know, we got back together."

Inoue's eyes lightened up. "With Ryuzaki-kun I expect?"

The young man shook his head. "No Inoue-san. Just with Fuji, Atobe and Sanada." He smiled bitterly at the old man. "It proved to be a hard task reaching out to that man again."

Inoue's hopes crumbled. He sighed. Tezuka noticed the sadness radiating from him.

"Do you have anything about Ryoma that you can tell me?" He met the man's gaze hopefully. "Just anything...anything that is yours to tell. Almost everyone we know here wants to hide him from us."

Inoue frowned a little. 'So they didn't have the slightest idea of what happened here when they were gone?'

"_It would be best, Inoue-san that none of these goes public."_

"_He doesn't need the extra publicity right now…not like this."_

He glanced back to the young man before him. Successful...famous...Tezuka Kunimitsu embodied achievements and victory. "I'm sorry Tezuka-kun but I have been sworn to secrecy. It even broke the code of my work before but I cannot provide an opportunity for an open attack on such a vulnerable state he was in."

Tezuka blinked back in surprise. "Vulnerable state? What do you mean? Did something bad happen to Ryoma when we were gone?" His heart started pounding hard against his chest.

Inoue drained his cup and cleared his throat. "I have made a promise to Ryuzaki-kun that I won't tell anyone, especially you guys but I can't also stand here and watch him deny his self of the happiness he very much deserves." The old man stood up.

"I suggest that you review the major events that occurred here in Tokyo for the past four years, starting from Ryuzaki-sensei's death. And if you want a correspondent who is most unbiased in this situation, I suggest you try approaching Shishido Ryoh."

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Fuji slipped his phone back in his pocket after the lengthy talk with Atobe. He sat down on a bench along the Academy's Sakura lane to collect his thoughts.

_"The board agreed to get Echizen Ryoga as the new image model of our newly acquired business. For our print campaign, you were chosen to be the official photographer." _

_"Can't you get someone else?" _

_"I can't. The rest of the members were hell-bent in take him and having to shoot him. Syusuke, it all boils down to trust." _

_Fuji sighed. "Do you trust me then, Atobe Keigo? Do you trust me enough to put your faith in me?"_

_"Of course you idiot! I know you won't go back to that cheap replacement."_

_Fuji smiled. "Thanks Keigo. That's why i fell in love you with in the first place."_

'Working with Ryoga again will be a very hard task to shoulder.' He mused as he watched the Academy students going to and fro. 'Oh well...I'm a professional photographer and I cannot let a past like that ruin my reputation.'

He leaned back and tried to calm his self down when soulful, nostalgic sounds from a piano echoed into the air. Fuji closed his eyes and relaxed as the music caressed his body.

'Hmm...it's the Ballade Pour Adeline. The pianist is good.' He could feel him self being gently nudged to search where the music was coming from.

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Ryoma has his eyes closed as he let his fingers create magic as he played his favorite piece, the Ballade Pour Adeline. He was playing in the park's open stage where a decade old piano stood for the enjoyment of the students and visitors.

His lips were set in a frown as he gently wove a veil on enchantment around him. With every note he played, his heart was being stretched to its limit.

_"Echizen-san, I'm glad that you agreed to meet me here." Ryoma forced a smile as the woman approached him. _

_The beautiful woman smiled warily at him. "I'm always glad to have an opportunity to converse with you Ryuzaki-kun. It's just that my son's..."_

_Ryoma suppressed the bile rising to his throat. 'She's already with me and all she can think about her cocky son.' He tried to block Rinko's voice in his head as she ranted about Ryoga. _

_"It's very nice to hear that he's well these days." Ryoma struggled to maintain his facade. _

_"I know." Rinko beamed at him. "Going back to you Ryuzaki-kun, did I tell you how much I adore your eyes?"_

_Ryoma blinked a couple of times, realizing that the woman had been staring at him the whole time. He averted his gaze, hoping it would divert her attention. "Oh really? Thank you, Echizen-san." _

_Rinko reached out and tentatively touch his hand, a gesture which made Ryoma cringe inside. "Is there anything that I could help you with?"_

_Ryoma shook his head. "For me, none. but I think I can help your beloved son, Ryoga." _

Ryoma bit his lip. 'I have carved ice around my heart for years and yet the moment she touched me, it started to melt.' If someone would see him right now, they might say he's a content man, being able to create such music but deep inside, Ryuzaki or rather Echizen Ryoma is nowhere near content...he's famished. '

'I cannot let her break the walls I have created. As far as I'm concerned, she's not my mother...and she never will be.'

_Ryoma studied the shocked face before him. It only took him a few minutes to explain everything to the woman who was now ash-faced. _

_"That is my offer Echizen-san." Ryoma wiped his lips with a napkin. "I think you should grab the opportunity to save your son. The only thing I'm asking in return is that you keep this deal from your husband and son for now."_

_"B-but R-Ryuzaki-kun!" Rinko stammered. _

_Ryoma stood up and gave the woman one last lingering look. "Don't worry about me, Echizen-san." Golden orbs gleamed in sadness. "I have served my time in this world." _

Tears gently rolled down his cheeks as he neared the end of the piece. His fingers stung as he rode the pain out. 'Yes...don't worry about me Ka-san...as I have been dead to you for a long, long time.'

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Fuji couldn't believe what he was seeing. At first, he only wanted to find out who was playing and he never expected it to be Ryoma. He stood there in amazement as he watched the raven-haired man create poignant melody that engulfed him whole.

He felt his heart sped up to an unbearable speed at every move the man made. warmth flooded in his heart and to the tip of his fingers and toes. Listening to Ryoma's music seemed to have ignited the spark in his being.

As the music slowly came to its end, he found his self slowly approaching the golden-eyed man, with his heart thumping so hard he could almost hear it.

"Ryo-Ryuzaki Ryoma."

Ryoma looked up, shocked to see Fuji standing behind him. His initial reaction was to grab his bag and run but the brunette was able to grab his arm first.

"Look, I'm not asking for much." Sapphire orbs pleaded to him. "All I want is just a few minutes with you."

Ryoma gazed at his hand which was still grasping his then back to Fuji's handsome face. The ache in his heart due to hatred was replaced by an ache of longing. "You're not my senior anymore Fuji. You can't order me around anymore."

Fuji felt his stomach churning in anxiety. Here he was, holding the man whom he had been longing for for years with his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. "I know. I'm asking you this favor as Fuji Syusuke...not your senpai nor your past lover. I, I just want to talk to you."

'I shouldn't be doing this.' Ryoma mused but the looking into Fuji's eyes which looked so broken made him change his mind.

"Fine but just a few minutes. I don't want to anger Choutarou for breaking my promise to him again."

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Rinko was in a daze when she went home. Her conversation with Ryoma earlier not only shook her to the core but also uprooted her carefully crafted defenses.

_"That is my offer Echizen-san." Ryoma wiped his lips with a napkin. "I think you should grab the opportunity to save your son. the only thing I'm asking in return is that you keep this deal from your husband and son for now."_

'Why would he think I'd agree to this?' She asked her self as she collapsed on the sofa. The moment that the words came out of the man's lips, her whole world was devastated. The first time she saw Ryoma, she felt this unexplained attachment to him.

'Maybe it's because he looked just like Ryoga.' She mused. It was true that Ryoma and her son were similar in many, many ways. 'But he's someone else's son...not mine. My other son died a long time ago.'

A twinge of pain squeezed her heart at the memory. 'No one could survive that fire...especially a baby boy who's only a few weeks old.' Tears started to well up her eyes. 'My baby...'

_"Don't worry about me, Echizen-san." Golden orbs gleamed in sadness. "I have served my time in this world." _

"How can you talk so casually about your death, Ryuzaki Ryoma?" Rinko asked out loud. "Why are you so willing to give your life to a mere stranger?"

_"I think you should grab the opportunity to save your son." _

Rinko closed her eyes and pondered on the man's words. 'Ryoga is the only one Nanjiroh and I have left. I don't think it's a sin if a mother opted to do anything to save her offspring.'

'Even thought it meant taking the lives of others.'

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Ryoma sighed for the nth time. He and Fuji had been sitting in a small coffee shop not far from his school and the tensai had not uttered a word for a few minutes.

"You do know it's rude to stare at people." He muttered.

Fuji smiled and shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's just that I can't help but notice how much you've grown in the past years."

"of course I've grown, Fuji-san." Ryoma scoffed. "Don't tell me you expected me to remain as a teenager forever?"

Fuji chuckled. Oh how much he missed this verbal joust with Ryoma. "I see that part of you hadn't change even for a tiny bit."

Ryoma smirk. "You're still mada mada dane."

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Sanada mentally cursed as he scanned his surroundings. The tensai was nowhere in sight. His interview ended a few minutes ago, finally being accepted as the newest faculty member for the year. He had been looking for his boyfriend for a while now but he is without progress.

"Damn who was that pretty brunette Ryuzaki-sama was talking to?"

He jerked upon the mention of Ryoma's name. He turned around and saw two girls, both carrying violins, walking towards him.

"Excuse me." Sanada approached. "Do you know Ryuzaki Ryoma?"

The girls squealed at the name. "Of course! He's only the hottest senior in this Academy alongside with Ohtori-senpai. Both are from the piano division." The replied.

Sanda took a deep breath. "I'm an old friend of his. Do you know where he is right now?"

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"How's your life Ryuzaki-kun?" Fuji finally asked the dreaded question. He resented the fact that he had to drop Ryoma's nickname but it would make Ryoma talk to him longer, it's fine by him.

Ryoma took his time before answering. "Not much. I'm graduating this year." He kept his gaze steady on the cup of tea before him. He's determined not to look at Fuji's face or his eyes.

"Really? That's good to hear." Fuji said then his face became serious again. "But how about tennis? Do you still play?"

Ryoma twitched at the mention of such a sensitive topic. "I still play but not as extensively as before. School's got me busy." He glanced at his watch. "Look, it's nice chatting with you Fuji-san but I have to go home now."

"But--"

Ryoma stood up and gathered his things. "Maybe next time Fuji-san."

The door of the shop opened and in came Sanada. "Syusuke?"

Ryoma turned around and walked towards the raven-haired man. He noticed that Sanada's tie was askew so he reached out and tugged it back in place.

"Small world, Sanada-san." He smiled at him before sashaying out of the coffee shop, leaving the rest dumbstruck.

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A/N: Argh!!!! Longest chapter ever!!!!! A bit mentioned about the Echizen's past in there. A fiasco of hurt feelings, attempts of vengeance, unrequited love and everything is about to start for please watch out ok?

IF YOU WANT MORE,

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	8. fanning the flames

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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All four of them gathered for dinner that night: Tezuka was seated next to Atobe while opposite them sat Sanada and Fuji. They ate in an amicable silence until...

"So anyone would like to share how their day went?" Atobe put his fork down and gazed at them expectantly. Tezuka was stoic and reserved as ever, while Fuji has his smiling face up. Sanada wearing his poker face again.

"Oh I will!" Fuji beamed at them while playing with his wine glass. "Gen got accepted as the newest English professor in Momogaoka Academy for Music and the Performing Arts."

Tezuka gave his lover a small smile. "That is very good to hear Gen. I'm glad you're back on track."

Sanada returned his smile. "Thanks."

"Che!" They turned to stare at Atobe. "You should've accepted my offer."

Sanada sighed. "We're not having that discussion again, Keigo."

Tezuka leaned back and turned his attention to his ever smiling lover. "What about you Syusuke?" He watched Fuji's face brightened up more. "What did you do today?"

Fuji set his glass down and smiled at his lovers. "I talked to Ryoma today." He continued smiling while watching how Tezuka's and Atobe's expressions changed.

"What?!" Atobe spat. "Why didn't you call so we could come and talk with him too?!" He frowned. 'Damn Syu can be very greedy sometimes.'

Tezuka couldn't quite place his thoughts but he composed his self, not wanting to react like Atobe did. "What did you two talked about?" His voice came out a bit shaky.

Fuji propped his chin on his hands. "I didn't get much out of him but it was still good since he's talking. He's a graduating senior from the Piano Division of the same academy Gen applied to." He glanced at his other stoic lover and smiled. "He's still a looker, right Gen?"

Sanada soon felt the piercing eyes of Atobe and Tezuka on him. He set his fork down and sighed. "I didn't get to talk to him but yes I saw him too."

"What else did you talk about?" Atobe asked, getting annoyed. "There's got to be more Syusuke."

It was then that Fuji sobered up. "Contrary to popular belief that he totally quit tennis, Ryoma told me that he still plays...occasionally."

Silence filled the dinning hall as they tried to process what the tensai just said.

"That's bullshit." Atobe stabbed his potatoes with vengeance. "How can he quit or play occasionally when he's the tennis freak among us? There's more to that, I bet." He glanced at Tezuka who was still in deep thought. "What about you Gen?" He turned to the person opposite him. "What is your experience with our dear Ryoma today?"

Sanada shrugged. "He fixed my tie."

"He did what?!" Atobe wanted to launch his self at the man.

" Keigo, your manners please." Tezuka muttered.

Atobe shook his head in disbelief. "Fuck manners! I mean you probably had the most physical contact with him to date and you still as stoic as ever!" He slumped back in his seat and scoffed. "I bet you didn't show him any warmth."

"I guess the reason why Gen is still expressionless as ever is that he's still in shock because he indeed received the most intimate physical contact from Ryoma." Fuji took Sanada's hand and squeezed it. "Right Gen?"

"Ah." Came the grunted reply.

The tension slowly eased off as they continued eating. The peace was again shattered when Gen reopened the topic.

"How about you Keigo?" Hazel eyes studied the handsome man before him. "Anything exciting from the office?"

Atobe frowned. "Please! I don't want to remember that Ore-sama did something that he might regret in the future." He gave Fuji a look which made the tensai grew stiff.

Sanada caught the exchange of looks. " What was it? Is Syusuke involved?"

Atobe took a sip of wine. "Yes." He stared at his wine glass for a while. "I approved the advertising plan which involved Echizen Ryoga as the main endorser and Syusuke as the photographer for the campaign." His frown deepened as he was saying the words he hated so much.

Fuji sighed. "It's not like I'm going to pounce him during the shoot. I have you guys back. Why would I even look at him twice?"

"It's because he looks exactly like Ryoma, Syusuke." Sanada told him. "I mean, if not for the age and surname difference, they could be twins."

An uneasy feeling filled Tezuka's heart upon the mention of the word twins. 'Somehow, I have a bad feeling about that one.' He mused.

"Guys, do you think I'm that shallow?" Fuji, feeling the anger rippled inside him, had his eyes open now while staring daggers at his lovers.

"It's not like I don't know the difference. Of course Ryoga looks like Ryoma but Ryoma is still the Ryoma whom I loved, and will love with you for the rest of my life!" He stood up abruptly.

"Damn it! At least Keigo verbally affirmed me that he trusts me!" He pushed his seat back when Tezuka spoke up.

"I met Inoue-san today."

As an instant effect, his three lovers stared at him in disbelief.

"Inoue? The reporter?" Sanada asked.

Tezuka nodded. "He came to me after my talk and we kinda touched on a very intriguing topic."

Fuji, having his anger forgotten, sat back on his seat. "What did you two talk about?"

Tezuka waited for the tension to ebb. "Contrary to what the world wants, he actually expects us to be complete, Ryoma included."

"Really? How odd." Sanada muttered.

"Yeah...since almost everyone wants us to stay away from him." Atobe added.

Tezuka set his fork down and wiped his mouth. "I also tried to pry information from him regarding our Ryoma but like the rest, he won't budge." Tezuka rehashed the conversation in his head.

"He didn't go direct to the point but I think he's trying to tell me that there is something bad that happened to Ryoma when we're apart..."

"...something really bad that pushed the rest to protect him like a vulnerable child."

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Ohtori ran into their duplex unit, anxious to get to his cat-eyed friend. He hadn't seen the raven-haired man during the day and he's dead worried for his well-being.

"Ryoma!!!" He cried the moment he burst into the door. No one answered but instead, an enticing aroma of Italian cooking met his nose.

"Ryoma?" He called again, walking to the direction of the kitchen. He came to their stylish western-styled kitchen, finding his best friend in front of the stove, wearing a pink apron and stirring something delicious in a pot.

"Oh thank god!" He cried as he climbed on one of the bar stools.

Ryoma spun around only to see Ohtori's upper half sprawled on top of his counter-top, looking very exhausted. "You look like you could use some nourishment." He said as he turned the stove off and fixed Ohtori his plate.

"Nnhhg?" Ohtori groaned, still not moving form his position.

Ryoma slid the plate to him, making the man stir in the aroma of their dinner. "Eat. I don't want you dying before I do."

Ohtori snapped from his stupor to glare at Ryoma. "Not funny!" He grabbed his plate and started stuffing his mouth. "I was really worried you know."

Ryoma sighed and sat across the counter with his own plate. "I was kidding." He said.

Minutes lapsed in silence as the two ate. Ohtori couldn't help but stare at his friend.

'Something's changed. I know for sure.' He told his self. "Um...see I haven't seen you use that apron for like ages." He said, pertaining to Ryoma's strawberry-patterned pink apron. "Something happened while I was away?"

Ryoma shrugged. "Nothing much."

Ohtori stared...and stared...and stared.

"Fine." Ryoma sighed in defeat. "I came across Fuji and Sanada today."

"Oh? And you're using their last names now...hmmm..." Ohtori tapped his chin with his fork.

"What do you want? Fine! I saw Syusuke and Gen." Ryoma glared at him. " Happy?"

Ohtori smiled. "I'm quite satisfied. You don't have to pretend that you hate them when we're alone together, you know. I mean Atobe wouldn't have this house bugged or something."

"Shut up and eat before I decide to shove you face into that plate." Ryoma snapped at him before going back to his food.

"Saa...a bit fiery today huh?"

Ryoma opted to keep his mouth shut on that. He cleaned his plate while Ohtori asked for seconds.

"The plan's on the move now, Choutarou." Ryoma announced, making Ohtori choke.

"Wh-what?!"

Ryoma turned around to face his gasping friend. "Everything's laid out and I'm just waiting for them to take the bait."

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A week later was a dread for Sanada, knowing that he'll be starting his new life as a professor. All his apprehensions were appeased when he was warmly received by the faculty members and the student body of Momogaoka on his first day. It was like the academy found another walking sex-machine to drool upon.

'Thank god that was over.' He mused as he settled down on one of the cozy couches in the teacher's lounge. He didn't realize how big the responsibility posted on him. He was supposed to be in-charged of the Piano division since the academy was aiming for globally-adept musicians...ergo a priority for English competency.

"At least they have a cozy lounge." He muttered as he enjoyed his cup of coffee. He was starting to relax when the quietude was shattered by familiar voices.

"Unbelievable!"

"Che! Yell all you want Okawa-sensei but I'm not participating in this crap anymore."

Sanada jolted at the sound of the second voice. "Ryoma?"

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Fuji and Atobe drove in the luscious greenery that is Momogaoka Academy. Not very far was a temporary settlement they call their set.

"Why bring me Keigo?" Fuji asked. "The photo shoot will be the day after tomorrow. Today's the commercial."

Atobe huffed. "I want to see how good this Ryoga. I don't want crap to represent my Telecommunications venture."

Fuji sat back. "I worked with him for like my whole career. Disdain put aside, he's one of the best I've worked with before."

The limo pulled into a stop. "We'll see about that." Atobe scoffed as he stepped off of the vehicle.

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Sanada didn't want to intrude but he's curious what had gotten his ex-boyfriend so riled up. He left his cozy couch and took a peek inside the conference room. There he saw Ryoma, looking very handsome in his white shirt and blank pants, seated across a middle-aged woman.

'One of the Piano Division probably.' He muttered.

"Ryuzaki-kun, please reconsider." Okawa-sensei almost looked like she was about to cry.

"I won't so stop trying to convince me." Ryoma snapped back at her.

Sanada shook his head. 'Tsk...Ryoma...you never changed.' His slight movement made the door squeak.

"Who's there?" Came Ryoma's sharp inquiry.

Sanada felt his pulse raced as he pushed the door completely open, watching how Ryoma's annoyed expression slowly changed into shock.

"Geinichiroh."

Hearing his name from those lips almost felt as if the raven-haired man was touching him. He had to mentally give his self a shake to bring him back to reality.

"Sanada-sensei? Great you're here!" The woman's face lightened up. She stood up and ushered the man inside. "Please, help me convince Ryuzaki-kun here that joining the Maradonna is the best decision there is." She motioned him to sit and passed the documents to him.

Ryoma couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, he heard the rumors that they acquired a hot new English professor but never, in his entire music career, had he thought it'd be Sanada. 'What the fuck?! Oh god...oh god.' He could feel his heart going for a run as the said man sat before him.

"Ohayou Ryoma." Sanada tried to gain control over his being. It was the first time that he felt this nervous in front of Ryoma.

Okawa-san, saw the awkward yet intense exchange, smiled. "Oh so you know each other? Good!" She then turned to Sanada. "Ryuzaki-kun here is the top 2 student of the Piano Division. With his friend Ohtori-kun, being the top 1 student, declining the entry to this prestigious competition, he is the best one next in line. Don't you think?"

Sanda looked up from the documents he's reading to gaze at Ryoma who just recovered from his initial shock.

"I'm not joining. For whatever reason that Choutaroh declined the entry, I have the same." Ryoma said firmly. "I'm tired of competitions."

"But Ryuzaki-kun!"

Sanada sighed. 'Two million yen and a scholarship abroad? Hmmm...Why is he rejecting this?' He looked back to the raven-haired man and he returned his gaze with a glared, daring him to say something.

"Is there a reason why you feel strongly against this competition?" There, he finally found his voice.

'Great, he's trying to be all-professional on me.' Ryoma sighed. "I've had my turn. I've been competing in that crap for two years already. I'm tired." He closed his eyes to mask whatever weakness that might flash in his eyes. 'It's half-true. I indeed feel tired.'

"But this time we almost have it!" Okawa-san interjected.

"Okawa-sensei, forgive my intrusion but I don't think that forcing a person to do something that he doesn't like will yield good products." Sanada told the teacher, earning him a gaping Ryoma and a gasping Okawa-sensei. "From the way I see it, this competition is to see the perfection of music brought out by the will to succeed in the competition. I think if we let students who feel half-heartedly towards it in, they wouldn't be able to play beautifully, don't you think?"

Silenced reigned inside the conference room. The clock ticked as seconds...minutes passed by in fragile sequence, daring any entity to break its quietude.

Ryoma pushed back his seat and stood up. "Just as Sanada-sensei had said Okawa-sensei. I suggest, as a student, that you take a stroll along the halls of the Piano Division." A challenging gleam sparked in his eyes. "Who knows, you might find the perfect entry." With his, he bowed and left.

Sanada, with his still-super fast reflexes, stood up and followed Ryoma.

Okawa-sensei sighed and gazed at the entry document. 'Such a fiery character. I wonder if anyone was able to control the flame that is Ryuzaki Ryoma.'

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"Fuji."

The tensai and the diva turned around to face Ryoga. The brunette gave him a polite smile while the other one just stared at him haughtily.

"Ah Echizen-kun," Atobe started. "Ore-sama is glad to be doing business with you." He caught Fuji's questioning look. "I'm putting faith in your abilities to represent my product."

Ryoga nodded curtly. "Same here Atobe-san. I'm quite honored that I was chosen to represent your company." His golden eyes drifted to his ex-lover who has his eyes on Atobe rather than him. 'Che! You love them that much huh?'

"Atobe-sama!" His personal assistant, Rodrigo came running towards him.

"Excuse us." Atobe told Ryoga before entertaining his assistant. That left Fuji to deal with the raven-haired man.

"I'm looking forward to working with you again, Fuji." Ryoga gave him a timid smile. No matter how much he suppressed his feelings for the brunette, it is still evident that he's madly in love with him.

"Same here, Echizen." Fuji masked the uneasy feeling in his stomach with one of his empty smiles. "I know you can always deliver the goods."

Ryoga was about to respond to that when Atobe turned to them again. "Please excuse us Echizen-kun. My lover and I have something to discuss."With this, he steered the brunette away from the golden-eyed man.

"What was that all about, Keigo?" Fuji asked, noticing the tight grip of the diva on his arm.

Atobe sighed and slightly eased his grip on the tensai. "It's not you Syusuke. I just don't like him, that's all."

Fuji let out a soft chuckle. "Saa...you're always the jealous one."

That comment made Atobe scoff. "Speak for yourself. Kidding aside, I want to tour this place to get away from the pressure I can see building."

Fuji shook his head and smile. "You're lacking talents again, Keigo? Don't worry; this place is brimming with talent." He motioned his lover to look around and indeed, a lot of students were scattered around the premises.

"Let them worry with that." Atobe told him. 'There's one talent that I want to see.'

"Ahhh..." Fuji nodded, finally getting his point. "You're hoping we come across a certain golden-eyed man that you don't hate."

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Tezuka, cooped up in his office, was staring as the slowly-building pile of papers before him. It's not like he's not used to this scene but he has some pressing matters to attend to.

'I probably shouldn't be doing this but what the heck!' He thought before calling for his secretary.

The door opened promptly. "Yes, Tezuka-san?" His energetic secretary asked.

"Get this, sort them out by deadline." He pointed at the pile of folders before him. "I'll deal with it later." With that said, the man hurried to grab the folders and leave his room.

"Oh yeah...and all appointments are postponed until after lunch ok? Make sure that I'm not disturbed."

A mumbled yes and he was alone again. He loosened his tie and faced his computer.

_"I suggest that you review the major events that occurred here in Tokyo for the past four years, starting from Ryuzaki-sensei's death. And if you want a correspondent who is most unbiased in this situation, I suggest you try approaching Shishido Ryoh."_

Tezuka had a determined look on as he started searching the net.

"I'm not stopping until I have learned the rest of the story, Ryoma." He muttered as he waited for the search results form the internet. "Wait for me, Neko-chan. I'll get you back."

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"Don't you have classes to attend to?" Ryoma asked as annoyance started to act upon him. Ever since he left the conference room, Sanada hasn't left his side.

Sanada cast the younger man a side glance and smiled. "How about you? Don't you have classes?" They walked out of the building and into the lush academy grounds.

Ryoma scoffed. "I'm a senior. There's not much to do when you've learned everything. My joint classes will not start until this early evening." He slid his hands inside his pocket and kept his eyes focused on the track ahead. He had to. 'Damn! It feels nice being close to him like this again.' His mind supplied.

Sanada was in no better position. He felt that their abrupt parting last week left him longing for more of the man's presence. "My classes formally start tomorrow."

"Ahh." And with that they continued to walk in amicable silence...both still very conscious of each other's presence.

'This is the closest thing I can get when it comes to you Ryoma.' Sanada mused as he glanced at the man next to him. 'I'm glad that despite everything, you're giving me this opportunity. I couldn't ask for more.' His fingers itched to entwine themselves with Ryoma's silky dark locks which grew past his chin or with his fingers that looked so soft and warm to him. Really...this is all he could do...for now.

They came to a halt when Ryoma paused to check out the crowd at the distance. Sanada saw it too...then he remembered.

"What's going on?" Ryoma asked.

"I think they're shooting the commercial." Sanada replied.

Ryoma's brow arched up in curiosity. "What commercial?"

Sanada looked down immersed into Ryoma's golden eyes. "Keigo's company finally ventured into telecommunications. I think it's for the new phone brand that they're launching."

It took a few seconds for the words to sink into him. "This means Ke-Monkey King is here." His brain supplied various consequences of his "ifs" so fast that it sent him reeling. 'Oh no!' He's suddenly wishing the ground would break and swallow him. Meeting the Atobe without any reinforcement by his side will mean calamity.

'I'm not in the condition to fight off anything.' Ryoma suddenly remembered his status. 'Lord help.'

Sanada noticed the sudden change in the man's color and understood what was happening. 'Yes...I so can sympathize.' He mused. A rampaging diva will be very hard to handle.

"Ryoma...are you ok?" Sanada asked, daring to say his name for the second time.

Golden eyes, still wide in shock looked up to him. It may seem adorable at first but Sanada saw the flash of vulnerability in them...making him want to embrace the man and protect him from whatever it was that scares him.

"Ahh fancy meeting you here, Ryuzaki-kun."

They both snapped back into reality and looked up to see Ryoga standing before them, with an expression unreadable even under Sanada's calculating gaze.

Ryoma's expression turned from grim to nasty. "Looks like you finally escaped your mother's paws." He tried to put as much spite as he could into his words, not caring that it's his very own mother his pertaining to. "I guess they finally decided that you're old enough to walk on your own."

Ryoga's temper flared immediately at Ryoma's words, remembering how much he hated the man. "Don't you talk--"

"That was a joke, Echizen." Ryoma smirked. "Don't tell me you don't know how to take in jokes."

"How pathetic."

Ryoga was fuming. He tried taking in deep breaths to calm his self. His eyes turned to Sanada, vaguely recognizing him from the haze of anger that clouded his head. Then suddenly it came to him.

"Oh I remember, Fuji Syusuke came in to check on me." He smiled, savoring how both their expressions changed: Sanada from slightly amused to serious and Ryoma, from cocky to glaring. 'This is fun.' He muttered. He could tell by the looks of him, Ryoma's still deeply in love with his ex-lover...and the rest of his ex-lover's lovers. 'I could use this to my advantage.' He smirked.

"He's the photographer who will be shooting me, you know, just like the old times."

Ryoma's head started ache at the sudden onslaught of emotions and frantic thinking. He tried to weave his way past the cloud in his head to identify the emotion that's making his heart beat faster, his throat closing up and his blood pressure rising.

Jealousy...yes that was it. It was a feeling Ryoma had long forgone and had expected not to experience anymore. He fought off the wave of nausea that was trying to consume him. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ward off the unwanted, yet familiar feeling.

Sanada was in no better state but he's dealing with it in a normal manner. He chose to keep his lips pressed into a thin line and his eyes plastered on the arrogant Ryoma-look-a-like before him, wanting to fry him alive with his glare alone.

'How could I forget? He's Syusuke's past lover.' The same thought seized their minds.

Ryoma, seemingly losing the battle against his physical antagonists, suddenly grabbed Sanada's tensed arm. Feeling the tightened muscled under his skin somehow brought him back the consciousness he needed.

In normal circumstances, being gripped suddenly like that, would make Sanada hurl the offender away but since he knew it was Ryoma, it felt natural. What intrigued him the most and doused his flaring temper a bit was the reason behind it...a reason which he wasn't able to grasp his Ryoma quickly recovered from his daze.

"Ahh I guess that couldn't be helped." Ryoma forced a smile. "Mercy for the sick is indeed hard to resist, isn't it Sanada-san?" Ryoma looked up to meet Sanada's confused eyes. He marveled at how Sanada's face seemed so clear and vivid to him when the rest of the world seemed to dim.

Ryoga gritted his teeth at the comment. Ryoma was indeed an expert in pushing other people's buttons. "Why you--!"

"I think you should leave, Echizen-kun." Sanada's voice severed the string of tension between the two Echizens. "I think you should've realized that not everyone welcomes your presence as warmly as the rest of the world did." Hazel eyes bored deep into his soul.

Silence elapsed into seconds...to minutes. All three of them were still staring daggers...it's two against one. Heavy air dispersed when Rodrigo came running towards them.

"Niou-san and Kikumaru-san are here Echizen-san." Rodrigo told him. "Atobe-boochama wants to get this shoot started immediately."

Ryoga sighed. "Whatever." He turned to follow Rodrigo back to the set. He was long gone when Sanada finally realized that they hadn't move still.

"Ryoma, are you ok?" He turned to his companion, shock overriding his concern when he saw Ryoma taking in shallow breaths, his grip on his arm tightened.

"T-take me home..." He panted. "P-please."

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"Anata..." Rinko muttered when she stood before Nanjiroh's table. Her husband looked up from the files he was reading to acknowledge his wife's presence.

"Ah Rinko!" He smiled. "Is Ryoga doing well in the shoot?" He knew his wife drove his son off to Momogaoka that morning.

Rinko anxiously sat down and studied the chair before her. "Y-yes...I was going there in a few minutes." Her voice came out rather shaky.

One eyebrow arched up. "Rinko, is something bothering you?" He asked.

Rinko jerked her head up and looked into Nanjiroh's golden eyes. "Say, if I have found a donor...y-you think Ryoga would consider another transplant?"

The toothpick that nanjiroh was biting felt down as his mouth gaped open. They stayed like that for a few minutes as her words slowly sank into Nanjiroh's brain.

"You what?!" The man cried.

"I mean...hypothetically if we have found a suitable donor, Ryoga can undergo another surgery right?" Rinko's eyes were full of apprehension, as even she feared her very words. "The doctor told us not long ago that our son is still strong enough to undergo the procedure and he's still on top of the donor's list."

"I mean, it's not a bad thing if we give him another shot at life right?"

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Tezuka sighed in defeat as he leaned back and dropped the papers he was studying a while ago. His migraine was starting to act up and he's nowhere near the answers that he was looking for.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never thought it'd be this hard." He gazed at the papers lying on his desk warily.

In his frantic search in the internet, he found a small electronic obituary for Ryuzaki-sensei dated four years ago, a long article about Ryoma's preparation for his reappearance at the pro scene dated three years ago, dozens of articles regarding the famous shooting spree that happened the same year and an article from a music site announcing Ryoma's debut and achievement in the Maradonna Piano Festival this passed two consecutive years.

'In the end, I still have nothing.' Tezuka groaned in defeat. "Damn it! Why does it have to be this hard?"

A knock made him swiped all the papers and stocked them neatly into a small pile and hide them in his drawer.

"Come in." He said.

In came his secretary with a piece of paper.

"Sorry to disturb you Tezuka-san but you asked me yesterday to look up a certain Shishido Ryoh for you." The man approached his table and offered the paper to him. "I called up some individuals and found out that this Shishido Ryoh is currently residing in Akita, managing the main branch of his Onsen business."

Finally being able to grasp the reality of his secretary's word, Tezuka grabbed the paper and quickly scanned it.

"Thank you..." Tezuka suppressed a smile. "Thank you."

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"Nyah!!!" Eiji glomped at Fuji, ignoring the glare Atobe sent him. "This is so last-minute Fuji! It was fortunate that my next project is not on until next week!" The redhead wailed.

"Sorry Eiji." Fuji chuckled, letting his best friend glomp him. "It was an emergency."

"Che!" Niou spat. "You owe me big time, Atobe." He glared at the diva. "I thought that air-head Echizen bagged this gig already." He flipped his platinum tresses off his shoulders.

Atobe smirked, seeing Ryoga in his visual periphery. "Che! Can't you understand that Ore-sama just doesn't like that man?"

"Nya!! O'chibi does too." Eiji cried, earning him a glare from Niou and intrigued looks from Atobe and Fuji. 'Oops!' Eiji wanted to slap his forehead.

"Echizen-san is here! Get the cameras rolling!" The director cried, breaking into their little bubble.

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Sanada worriedly shifted his focus back on the road ahead from the raven-haired sitting next to him. The pained look on Ryoma's face seemed to intensify.

"We're nearly there Ryoma." Sanada tried to reassure the man. All he got back was a pained moan from the partially unconscious man.

'Hang on Ryoma.' Sanada pressed on the accelerator. He knew he must be approaching the speed limit but this is Ryoma in pain...he might not know that cause of it but merely seeing him like this drove him to drive faster.

'We're nearly there.'

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A/N: Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is born out of my frustration. I got separated from my computer for about a week so I wasn't able to update the story. Desperation and urgency is actually driving me to write since there's another story that's disturbing my focus. I don't want this to end up like FH. cries

Anyway...I will do my best to finish this story since I, for one, really, really like this. Please support me! I only have around 4-5 chapters to go.

Oh yeah...Sanada was the first one to see Ryoma in his "episode". Ryoga's methods of making Ryoma suffer are far from bodily harm...but it'll just intensify our favorite Uke's suffering.

IF YOU WANT MORE...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. his pillars

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

P/S: Are Yukimura's eyes blue or hazel? I'm quite confused.

A/N: This chapter depicts those individuals who played vital parts in caring for our favorite Uke. See how they're affected by Ryoma's fate.

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'I probably wasn't thinking with my head.' Ryoma concluded as he recovered from his "episode". He soon noticed the details of the situation he was currently in. He vaguely recognized the appearance of his room, nor the fact that he was currently on his bed. The only thing clear to him right now was the imposing presence of a familiar figure sitting next to him.

"Ryoma..."

His eyes flew open and immediately sought out the origin of that deep, soothing voice. His gaze fell upon a pair of hazel orbs, gazing at him intently with concern so great that it almost drowned him.

"Geinichiroh." He blurted out. His eyes left those hazel orbs to travel down to a part of him where he felt a comforting warmth, their hands...joined together as if Sanada's trying to pass on his warmth...his life force to him.

"I'm glad you're awake." The usually-stoic man let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. Relief flooded into his body when his senses were ascertained that Ryoma's face wasn't contorted in pain or his hand cold and clammy. The man was still pale as snow but at least he's conscious now.

It has been a good ten minutes since Ryoma swallowed some nameless pill and drifted off to sleep. His mind was thrown askew that all he did was sit next to his bed and hold his hand firmly in his, praying to the heavens that his Ryoma would be ok.

"I-" Ryoma tried to grope for the proper words to say. He doesn't want Sanada or any of his ex-lovers to know his condition. It was not included in his plan.

"Thank you." He settled for that. He wasn't prepared though when Sanada leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead and held him tight against his chest.

"I was so worried Ryoma." Those emotions that he kept in check for weeks seemed to have escaped like water gushing out of an open dam. "Are you sure everything's fine?" He muttered against his ebony locks, relishing the scent and the feel of the golden-eyed man against him once more.

How long had he longed for this warmth, he couldn't remember. All the registered in his head right now was the racing beat of Ryoma's heart that synchronized with his own, the familiar warmth of the young man in which he basked in for 10 long years.

"I-I'm sorry." Ryoma managed to say when the sudden gush of emotion left him overwhelmed. He tried telling himself for these passed years that he doesn't need his warmth, his voice, his scent...but then again mortals were bound to have their weaknesses. His eyes grew warm as he relished the feel of Sanada's firm body against him. "For making you worry."

It had been so long...and so many things happened, Ryoma closed his eyes, tears spilling down his fair cheek. 'I know I shouldn't do this...that shouldn't let myself be close to him. I also know that leaving him, after this will be very hard and painful for me but I need...' Ryoma opened his eyes again, not caring if he's already sobbing his heart out.

'I need this to go on...even just for a little bit. I need something to keep me from ending this miserable life of mine so abruptly.'

The way Ryoma's shoulder shook alarmed Sanada. 'He's crying...oh god he's crying!' His mind reeled as he tried to think of a way to appease Ryoma but the way the raven-haired man held him tight gave him very limited choices so he ended up rocking their body gently as he whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

As what Tezuka had said last week, Ryoma's nothing more but a vulnerable child...in his arms with his soul bared to him.

"I'm here now..." Sanada whispered into his ear as Ryoma continued to sob his heart out. "I'll protect you...I'm here now."

forfeit

Oishi dashed into the hospital's cafeteria, finally locating Yukimura who was currently enjoying a cup of coffee.

"Yukimura!" Oishi gasped the moment he came upon Yukimura's table.

The teal-haired doctor smiled up at him. "Oishi-kun, nice to see you. Have a seat." He gestured the green-eyed doctor to sit. "You looked like you searched the whole building. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Oishi stopped the spiteful comment that wanted to escape his throat for yes...he indeed searched the building for the neurosurgeon. He instead took deep breaths to calm his self.

"We have a problem." He managed to blurt out, despite his racing heartbeat and shallow breaths.

Yukimura then noted the urgency in his voice so he sobered up. "What problem? Is this about our hard-headed patient?"

Oishi groaned and nodded. "I can't believe he's doing this to himself!" Oishi wanted to cry, to yell out his frustration. It pained his heart tremendously that his efforts were still not enough to keep a certain golden-eyed man alive longer.

Worry flashed in Yukimura's sapphire eyes. "What did he do this time? Are the symptoms getting worse?"

Oishi shook his head. "Yuushi told me this morning that Ryoma-kun updated his DNR status and even applied to become an organ donor." His eyes felt warm as unshed tears brimmed. "I just can't believe this. I-I…all those years of fighting...o-of struggling to..." His voice trailed off as he hastily wiped away the tears that trickled down his cheek.

Yukimura let out a sigh of defeat. "It's his life Oishi-kun." It pained him to say the words but the doctor in him was the one acting. "All we could do for him is try harder in convincing him to choose life. We could only stand behind him and look after his well being." A heavy feeling filled his chest.

Oishi muffled whimper caught him off guard. He leaned in and gently caressed the distressed doctor's back. "Oishi-kun..."

"It's just that I-I'm not ready yet." Oishi choked out. "I don't think any of us is ready to just let him go like that. Even t-though it's for a good cause, I still want Ryoma, my friend, my brother, alive and whole...not bits and pieces of him in other people's body."

More tears welled-up in those emerald orbs. "I don't want someone whom I consider my family die just like that."

forfeitforfeitforfeit

Ohtori's hand gently caressed the ivory keys as he waited for his teacher to arrive. His body maybe physically present and in accordance to time and space but his thoughts weren't.

They kept wandering off to his conversation with Ryoma a week ago.

"_Everything's laid out and I'm just waiting for them to take the bait." _

_He almost dropped his fork when his best friend spoke up. He stared at Ryoma with wide eyes for a moment, unable to process that he just said. _

_"Ryoma...you mean..." His throat felt constricted. The weight of Ryoma's words was a lot heavier than he expected. _

_Soft, golden eyes settled on him. With a sad smile, he continued to speak in than soft, voice. "If by chance, something happens to me Choutarou, please be the one to apologize for me."_

_With his hunger forgotten, he stood up and grabbed Ryoma for an embrace. "No...y-you've got to be kidding me." _

_The body in his arms gently pushed back to enable him to look up to him. Confused and hurt hazel orbs wet with sad and tired golden ones. _

_"You're going to be the one who will relay the tragic story that is my life."_

Ohtori shook his head vigorously as if trying to shake off the thought from his head. "No...Nothing bad will happen to him." he said firmly, with a determined look on his face. "I will not get to retell his story...no..."

His shoulders sank as an uneasy, dejected sort of feeling washed other him. Yes...he is Ohtori Choutarou. He is the Saint of Hyotei and even Momogaoka. He's Mister Sunshine...no one can dampen his spirits. He's always to the rescue when someone is in trouble...

"Then why can't I rescue my dear friend from his hell?" he asked out loud. Silence gave him no answer.

He rested his weary head on the keys. 'No matter how encouraging my words are...I can't help but doubt them sometimes.'

forfeit

Seeing how they successfully finished the shoot for a day, Atobe ordered everyone to pack up.

Almost everyone already left except for him, Fuji and Eiji who was apparently waiting for his chemist boyfriend.

"Ne Eiji, would you like to take a little walk with me and Keigo?" Fuji asked his friend. He noticed that the redhead was trying to avoid him ever since he blunder earlier.

"Ehhehe?" Eiji chuckled anxiously when Atobe came up to them. "Maybe some other time Fu--"

"Please?" Fuji already has his eyes open, but this time it was void of the usual iciness. "Just a few minutes? I just--I want--I mean I need to talk to you a-about Ryoma. Please?"

Eiji was mesmerized by the assorted emotions reflected in the tensai's sapphire orbs. Sadness, desperation, longing...love... Fuji had been his best friend for a long, long time. And seeing his friend right now, in such a broken state made him forget of Oishi's stern words.

Atobe felt a lump in his throat when he heard Fuji beg. It was too uncharacteristic for neither the resident sadist...nor for any one of them who used to be on top and never experienced stooping low to beg.

'But this is something worth begging for.' His mind supplied. He stood next to the brunette and held his hand. 'Definitely worth pleading for.'

Before neither Fuji nor Eiji could react, Atobe dropped down to his knees, with tailored clothes and arrogance forgotten, and bowed low before Eiji.

"Please...Kikumaru-kun. I need this. We need this." He kept his eyes tightly closed, the reality of him, being an Atobe and kneeling in front of a person considered below his level, slowly dawning on him.

Fuji gaped at his lover's actions. He knew that they were desperately trying to figure out Ryoma and what happened to him but him doing this, kneeling before his best friend was something he had never imagined in his entire life.

Without another thought, he dropped to his knees too and mimicked his lover, earning a gasped form the acrobat. He caught Atobe's eyes, saw the struggle, felt the shame radiating from his body. His action almost reduced him to tears but he smiled at Atobe, hopeful that the man would realize that they're both into this.

"Oh god!" Eiji gasped again. Never in his entire life he imagined that both the Tensai and the Ore-sama would kneel and bow down before him, begging. He felt torn. He promised everyone that he'd protect Ryoma but this situation is not something to overlook. He sighed in defeat and knelt before them.

"Please, stop it." His voice was shaking and hoarse. "You don't need to do this." Two pairs of eyes looked up to him. "I'm not worthy to have you two kneel before me. Please stand up."

He helped the two men up to their feet. There were tears in his eyes for Fuji and Atobe's action moved him. "The one who deserve this humility, this sincerity is none other than Ryoma-kun, not me."

forfeit

Tezuka packed up his "research materials" the moment he put down the receiver. He had contacted Shishido. The puzzle will soon be complete.

_"What you're asking me to relay is quite difficult to accomplish over the phone." Shishido told him after he dialed their Onsen's number. "I do apologize but I'm quite a busy individual." _

_"Of course Shishido-san. I'm sorry." Tezuka apologized. _

"_but if you really are persistent, you can always come for a visit." the man added. "My family and I will be very glad to have you over." _

Tezuka debated with his self whether he would call his lovers now and spread the good news or he would wait. Finally deciding that calling them now might disrupt any important business they're attending to, he grabbed brief case and headed for the door.

"Get the files. I'm going home." He told his secretary before he walked towards the elevator.

'Ryoma...whatever complicated puzzle you've become, I will finally be able to solve you and get you back...' Tezuka let a small smile escape his lips.

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The three walked in silenced as the sun started to paint the treetops red. They had been like that for a while, the redhead still groping for the proper words to say while the two waited patiently for him.

"Um..." Eiji started.

"Yes?" Fuji and Atobe asked in unison.

Eiji flinched at the intensity of their gazes. "I mean, do forgive me if I won't be able to tell you everything that you want to know. I made a promise to O'chibi that I will never tell anyone else."

Fuji understood the distressed redhead. A greater part of him wanted to know everything but... 'I guess I need to settle for what is available to me.' He mused sadly.

"It's ok Kikuramu-kun." Atobe said. "Anything would be very helpful." Obsidian eyes looked at the redhead expectantly.

Eiji sighed. "O'chibi is sick...very sick." He muttered, cautious with every word that he said.

"Sick? From what?" Atobe asked. His felt his sense kicked into alarm stage but Fuji placed a warning hand on his arm. "Sorry."

"I can't tell you what it is." Eiji bit his lip. "But he's really tired right now and having you four back is tiring him more."

Fuji stopped dead on his tracks. "You mean we're making his condition worse?" He self a sinking feeling in his gut. 'Oh god! This is not good.'

"Well..." Eiji tried to grope for the right words to say. "I mean he's stressed out. Of course he feels upset that after the break-up, here you are, back together."

"But he's the one trying to leave us out." Atobe reasoned out. "It's as simple as that."

Eiji shook his head and faced the two. "You're wrong. He's not leaving you out. You just haven't summed up the courage to face him yet."

Fuji contemplated on Eiji's words and indeed...they have been in Japan for a week now and they still couldn't come up with a plan on how to face the golden-eyed man...instead they busied themselves with work and all.

'How pathetic of us.'

"He's still in love with you." Eiji said, biting his lip after for his daring comment. "But I think he's too caught up with his own problems to admit it openly. After what you have done to him...after everything that happened and despite all the denial...he still loves you."

"Your only problem now is that he loves so guys so much that he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness to keep you from hurting."

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The sky was already a myriad of purple and dark blue when Sanada drove Ryoma back to the academy for his classes. It took a great deal of convincing power from the golden-eyed man to convince Sanada that he's fine.

_"It was just migraine, Gen." Ryoma insisted. "I just had it last month so I'm still not used to it." He looked deep into those hazel orbs, hoping that the older man would buy his alibi. "I have to get to this class. My kohai's grades depend on this performance." _

_Sanada sighed. Ryoma's eyes looked genuine enough to step aside to let the raven-haired man out of the house. _

"Will you be alright then, Ryoma?" He asked again when they stopped in front of the PD Building. The latter gave him a curt nod.

"Thank you." Ryoma smiled at him sadly. He moved to get out of the car when Sanada grabbed hold of his arm. "G-Gen..."

"I registered my number in your phone earlier." Worry flooded his hazel eyes once again. "Call me if you need anything, ok?"

Ryoma allowed his self to be drowned in those hazel eyes for a moment before nodding. "Just promise me one thing, Gen." He cast his eyes downward. "Please don't tell the others about what happened. I don't want them to worry over unnecessary things." With a sad smile, he looked up again to meet Sanada's gaze.

"Will you make this our little secret?" Golden eyes almost shimmered under the dimming world. Looking into those golden orbs made Sanada's heart race. "Please?"

Sanada found his self nodding absent-mindedly, still mesmerized by the intense gaze from Ryoma.

Ryoma let out a sigh of relief. He then felt a familiar surge of daring and allowed his self to forget for a moment as he leaned in and placed a soft, almost-non-existent kiss on Sanada's lips before he slipped out of the car and disappeared into the building.

Sanada was left gaping at Ryoma's disappearing figure. Shaking fingers touched his own lips, still feeling the light pressure from Ryoma's kiss. His heart went into overdrive as it finally dawned upon him...

"He kissed me." He breathed out, feeling a kind of warmth traveling through his veins.

With one last look at the building, he smiled a little and drove off...wanting to get home as fast as he could.

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His lesson with Narumi went well without a single sting in his head for the entire 3 hours of piano lessons.

"Ryuzaki-senpai, thank you so much!!!" Narumi waved goodbye to him before he ran out of the building. The second year student was indeed elated that he received not one spicy comment from the senior.

Ryoma chuckled a little at his kohai's antics. For two years Narumi had been his understudy. The boy may not be as brilliant as the rest of his class but he's got raw talent.

"You look happy." The gruff voice was so familiar already that Ryoma need not to turn around to know who was calling.

"Ahh Masaharu." He finally turned to see the man sitting on one of the building couches. "Choutarou's making you wait again?" He sat next to the model.

"Not really. He just forgot his cell phone on top of his piano...again." The blue-eyed man smiled. "You know how he is. He's blabbing about being punctual for you need to get home to take your medicines and such but he tends to freak out and be the cause of delay."

"Ahh." Ryoma nodded curtly.

Seconds passed by silently as they waited for Ohtori. Niou let out an exasperated sigh and was about to go after his boyfriend when he felt a gentle pressure against his shoulder. He looked down and saw Ryoma leaning against his side.

"Masaharu."

"What is it, brat?" Niou asked, confused on how to react. He and Ryoma were never like this. The two of them exchange snarky comments most of the time and never had the cat-eyed man been this amicable towards him.

"Thank you." Ryoma closed his eyes and savored the solid form of the man next to him.

'I think I better start doing this now...thanking those who had stood by me until now. It's a nice feeling, I realized, to actually be grateful for everything and everyone around me.'

Ryoma simple words shook Niou to the core. A warm melancholic feeling filled his chest as Ryoma's words etched into his soul.

_"Thank you."_

Niou closed his eyes. He finally came to know who the man really is after three years...and hearing him thank him felt more like the raven-haired man was saying goodbye.

"I'm sorry Haru-san--" Ohtori came down from the stair but he trailed off when he saw his lover and his best friend seated very close to each other and not having a verbal joust.

"Haru-san." His mouth hung agape when he saw a single tear trailed down his lover's cheeks.

Niou slowly looked up to meet his lover's worried gaze. A sad smile grazed his lips. "He fell asleep, waiting for you."

Ohtori's gaze softened at the scene before him. "I guess that couldn't be helped."

"Ryoma is still THE Ryoma after all."

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"Is there something that I need to know?" Tezuka eyed his lovers warily. A strange, heavy aura filled the dinning hall the moment they came down for dinner. Atobe and Fuji, who were usually the life of the house looked a tad too depressed for his liking while Sanada looking composed as ever but his eyes betrayed him. And he's being too jumpy too.

"Ok...since you're not in the mood to talk, I will." Tezuka set his fork down. "I talked to Shishi--"

"Ryoma's sick." Atobe cut him off.

His announcement made Tezuka snap his head in attention and Sanada jolt.

"Syu and I talked to Kikumaru earlier." Pain and sorrow reflected in those usually fiery obsidian eyes. "He told us that Ryoma's really sick."

"And we're cowards for not confronting him yet."

forfeit

Ryoga collapsed on his queen-sized bed, exhausted. The weird thing is, it's not the shoot that caused him fatigue. It was his confrontation with Ryoma and Sanada earlier.

"That bastard!" Ryoga spat out. He lifted his head a bit to gaze at the picture frame which stood on his bedside table. It was a photo of him and Syusuke when they went of a hike in The Bush.

Sadness filled his heart as the truth finally caught up with him.

"You're not coming back, are you...Syusuke?"

A knock shattered the gloomy air that filled his room. He refused to bulge from his position when his mother came in.

"Ryoga."

"'M tired Mom." Came his muffled reply.

Rinko sighed and sat on the edge of him bed. "Remember how you doctor told you three months ago that your heart is steadily growing weaker and will soon be unable to support your body?" She bit her lip. She doesn't understand why it seemed so hard for her to say this when it's for her son's survival.

Ryoga shifted around to face his mother. "Yeah...so?"

"There is a big possibility of gaining another heart for you, dear." Rinko smiled at him but the gloom in her eyes never disappeared. "Mom has found a way for you to live longer."

Ryoga gaped at Rinko. 'Another heart...' He frowned. "But I already took someone else's heart before!"

Rinko could sense his upcoming rejection. "That heart will not last you forever, Ryoga."

Ryoga refused to look back to her. "But this means someone else will have to die for me, right?"

Rinko sat there, dumbstruck at her son's statement. 'Ryuzaki-kun.' Yes...it is the inevitable truth. In order for Ryoga to live, Ryuzaki Ryoma has to forfeit his own.

"I don't want it." Ryoga announced. His hand clenched his chest. "I don't want to take someone else's life away just to continue living my own."

Golden eyes gazed at the woman before him with anger and disappointment. "Don't you realize that man simply can't escape death? Everyone will eventually die and it was my turn a long time ago."

"I'm tired Mom...and the more you try to prolong my breath...the more exhausted I become."

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A/N: I had tears in my eyes while writing this chapter. Hell! Why do I have to be a sucker for angst? wipes away tears Anyway... major development we got here. Most of you might be hating Ryoga before this chapter...I wonder if that changed

P/S: Loved the SanaRyo scene...esp. the car scene.

PP/S: Oh I just saw Gakuen Heaven and OMFG!!!! I'm indeed in heaven!!!!!! Yaoi heaven, I mean. It was sooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Saionji and Niwa and...and authoress dies in happiness but recovers anyway since she still has Forfeit to finish And I also saw Gravitation...yeah...I know. It was kawaii but Gakuen Heaven is cuter. Never mind.

IF YOU WANT MORE...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	10. one for the suffering

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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A day later, Fuji stood before Ryoga, holding his prized camera, snapping shots of memories and beauty. There's something that kept bothering the photographer ever since they starter.

"Saa...something's not right." Fuji muttered as he studied the once vibrant young man. Used to having Ryoga as his subject, he knew the man from inside out. Every time he faces the camera, he was amazing. However, normally Ryoga would exhibit that same vigor even during breaks but now; Fuji can clearly notice the gloominess in the man's aura every time he faces away from the camera.

'I wonder what's wrong." he mused as he said on his chair and went on replacing the film.

"Fuji-kun?"

The tensai looked up and saw the smiling face of Echizen Rinko.

"Ahh Rinko-san!" Fuji smiled. He scooted over to let the woman sit next to him. "If there anything I can help you with?"

The twinkle in her eyes faded a little that only people with amazing observation abilities like Fuji could catch. "Actually there is."

"It's about my son."

forfeit

It was Tezuka who insisted seeing Ryoma so Sanada had no choice left but to take the bespectacled man with him. Atobe threw in a tantrum so he gets to ride with his lovers to Momogaoka.

"I'm telling you guys, subtle approach will get him to talk to you." Sanada sighed. "Attacking like this will cause him to back away."

Tezuka gaze never fazed. "we're not attacking Gen. We're just coming to visit."

Sanada scoffed. "You tell that to Keigo."

Tezuka glanced at his obsidian-eyed lover and sighed. "Keigo, what's with the flowers and fruits?"

Keigo huffed indignantly. "Ryo-baby's sick. Of course Ore-sama brought what he needed to get better."

Tezuka wanted to slap his forehead. Atobe can sometimes be think-headed sometimes. "Again Keigo, we're not going to a hospital. We're going to visit Ryoma in his school, like a normal person."

Sanada let out a breath as the bickering went on. He stared outside the window, seeing Momogaoka at the distance.

_"Will you make this our little secret?" _

The softness of Ryoma's voice still echoed inside his head. He replayed the scene in his head over and over last night and he still can't get over it. The kiss...the voice...everything that is Ryoma etched in his memory.

'I wonder if he's telling the truth about that migraine and Keigo's just over-reacting.'

"Ok the fruits can go but definitely not the flowers." Keigo's irritated voice shattered his little bubble.

"Everything will have to go or I'm tying you up." Tezuka replied.

Sanada shook his head. 'Why should I be worrying about that? I should be worrying about whether Ryoma would talk to us or not when we get there.'

The limo came into an abrupt stop.

"We're here."

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Ryoga was dozing off inside his trailer when a knock woke him up.

"Echizen, its Fuji."

A slight scramble and the door slid open. Fuji climbed in to slight Ryoga slumped on his sofa bed, lightly panting. Worr7 washed over the tensai upon seeing his ex-boyfriend at such state.

"Ryoga."

Ryoga fought back the exhaustion to make out Fuji's face. "Fuji, what is it?" he sat up as slowly as he could.

Fuji couldn't help his self as he sat beside him and felt his pulse. 'It's fast!' his system kicked into alarm stage.

"Where are your medicines?" he asked. He earned a groan from the man but he pointed to the direction of his dresser.

Fuji wasted no time as he took out Ryoga's medicines, vaguely remembering all there names, and made the golden-eyed man drink them.

Silence reigned inside the trailer for a few minutes as they waited fort he medicines to take action.

"Are you alright now, Ryoga?" Fuji asked as started to return.

"I thought we already talked about the use of first names." Ryoga asked, seeking deep into the tensai's unreadable sapphire orbs. "I know my mother approached you earlier. And I know why you're here now." he looked away, hurt registering in his eyes.

Fuji could feel the pain radiating from the man next to him. Their status forgotten, he reached out and took Ryoga into his embrace. "I'm not here as your ex-lover." he muttered against the matte of ebony locks as Ryoga leaned closer. "I'm a here because I am concerned about you, genuinely concerned and not just because your mother approached me."

he brought his hand to Ryoga's chin and tilted his face in order to look into those golden orbs. " i'm not here to convince you to take that heart but i'm here to help you reconsider your options."

" this is life we're talking about Ryoga." Fuji brushed away the stubborn locks that covered his eyes. " you have been given the rarest opportunity in life and that is to continue living it. not everyone is given that same chance as you have."

" i suggest that you grab it...for happiness that will come to you in the future."

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Ohtori only wanted to watch Ryoma's periodical exam with Narumi so he didn't expect that being kidnapped by the young man's ex-lovers was actually in his schedule.

" This is a bit low for you, don't you think?" Ohtori asked as he glared at the three men before him. " especially for you, Sanada-sensei. You're a faculty member after all."

"We just want you to take us to Ryoma." Tezuka told him as they backed him into a corner. "Then we'll let you go."

"I'm sorry, Ohtori-kun." Sanada apologized.

"Don't apologize Gen." Atobe snarled. "I mean not until we get what we want."

Ohtori sighed in disbelief. "You do know that by doing it this way, he'll never come around, right?" he studied the three of them for a while. "Sanada-sensei, don't you have classes for today?"

"Not until after lunch." the man replied.

Ohtori started weighing his options. If he led these men to Ryoma, his best friend might kill him, and then die due to stress. Or if he tried to side-track them, he might end up dead and Ryoma will die due to depression. He closed his eyes and groaned in frustration. 'Or maybe...if he took these men to Ryoma, the man might die but he'll die happy since he got to see the loves of his life.'

With a frown, he pushed passed Tezuka and Sanada. "Fine, I'll take you to him. But if he says no, you'll leave right away, understood?"

"H-hai!" the men replied as they moved to follow his lead.

They turned from hall to hall, around corners to corners, up and down the stairs until they came back to the same floor that they were earlier.

"a-are you playing with us, Ohtori-kun?" Tezuka managed to blurt out in between gasps.

"No." Ohtori replied. "I'm just taking out a bit of revenge." he shrugged before walking away from them.

"why you--?!"

"Shh!" Ohtori shushed his off. He motioned them to get up. He knocked. "Shindou-sensei?"

The door opened and Ohtori pulled them inside.

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Rinko pulled over in front of Ryoma's apartment. She reached into the backseat for a folder. She dropped by Moritaka General Hospital to talk to Ryoga's cardiologist. With her were the documents Ryoma gave her.

_"He seemed like the perfect candidate." the doctor muttered while studying Ryoma's medical records. "If not for the last name, I could say they're brothers." _

_Rinko's eyes blinked in surprise. "Pardon me?" _

_The doctor sighed and laid out the papers before her. "The heart's size is perfect for Ryoga-kun. Even the blood type and the Rh group are a match. If your son pursues the operation, I can foresee an almost 85 success rate due to the unexpected compatibility."_

_Rinko took the documents with shaking hands. "Are you quite sure, doctor?"_

Rinko closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her mind was racing with possibilities but she shook her head on it.

"Don't head off to a very impossible premise, Rinko." she told herself. "You're nothing but a fool if you entertain the speculations."

"_If not for the last name, I could say they're brothers." _

"No...Your other son is already dead." she said firmly. "Your only son left is Ryoga and you want him to live longer."

"Ryuzaki-kun might look very much like him but he's not blood-related. Remember that."

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The door opened and in came Ryoma and Narumi, immersed in a serious conversation.

"Just don't get nervous." Ryoma placed his bag on top of the piano without even looking up. "Music is supposed to make you relax, ok?"

Narumi noticed the increased number of individuals inside the room. He caught Ohtori's eyes and the taller man juts smiled. "Uh yes, Ryuzaki-senpai. Umm--"

"Let's do this." Ryoma muttered as he took his seat. He lifted the key guard and that was the only time he noticed the other occupants of the room.

"You?!" Golden eyes stared up at them in a wide-eyed fashion as he tried to grasp the situation.

The door opened and in came the elderly teacher. "Ahh I'm glad you're here Ryuzaki-kun, Narumi-kun. Let's start?" he smiled at them before taking his seat.

Ryoma, still in shock spun to face his instructor and demanded. "Why are they here?!"

Shindou-sensei chuckled a little. "Ahh them?" he turned to look at others behind the pianos. "Ohtori-kun requested an audience and since Atobe-san was an excellent student of a friend of mine in the past, I agreed."

Ryoma turned to face his best friend who just shrugged and smiled. "Sorry?" he let out an indignant huff before he turned to his ex-lovers.

"What do you want?" Golden eyes glared at them.

"We just want to see you..." Tezuka started but Atobe cut him off with a, "play! Yes! We just want to see you play."

A perfect eyebrow arched up in suspicion. "Oh really?"

Sanada smiled at him apologetically. "You are the Piano Division's No. 2 after all."

Ryoma sighed and sunk back on his seat. 'I'm so doomed.' he sighed in defeat.

"Ne, Ryoma..." Ohtori leaned against the piano. "Should Narumi give back the advice you gave earlier?" he smiled at the irritated expression on his best friend's face.

"Shut up, Choutarou." Ryoma snapped at him. He turned to his kohai. "What are you looking at?"

Narumi jerked. "n-nothing, Ryuzaki-senpai!" he immediately faced his own piano. "I'm sorry."

Ryoma huffed indignantly as he tried to take in deep breaths. It was lucky enough that his headaches were subdued. 'Ok Ryoma...you can do this.' he cast one last look at his ex-lovers. 'Great...just great.'

"Um Shindou-sensei, would be ok if we video-tape this performance?" Ohtori asked.

"Sure!" the elderly instructor smiled. "Cautious as usual ne, Piano Division's No. 1 student, Ohtori Choutarou?"

Ohtori just smiled back and held his hand out to Tezuka. "Your cell phone." he muttered under his breath, sure that only Tezuka can hear.

'Oh...' Tezuka realized what the man wanted to do so he immediately gave his phone to him.

"Start anytime you want, Ryuzaki-kun." Shindou-sensei said.

Ryoma gave Ohtori one last death glare before taking a deep breath. He turned to Narumi and nodded.

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The shoot was wrapped up and Ryoga headed for home. Throughout the journey, his conversation with Fuji echoed over and over inside his head.

"_This is life we're talking about Ryoga." _

"_You have been given the rarest opportunity in life and that is to continue living it. Not everyone is given that same chance as you have." _

"_I suggest that you grab it...for happiness that will come to you in the future." _

He closed his eyes as fatigue stared to override his senses. 'What should I do? I want to live longer...but without him...with the knowledge of taking someone else's life...I don't think I can live with that much weight on my shoulders.'

'What should I do?'

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Ryoma was able to escape from Ohtori's schemes and headed home right after the exam. He couldn't help but smile a little though at his best friend's little attempts to make him happy in the few months he has left.

'Or it could be months.' his mind sadly supplied. "Or days." he frowned at that. As the days go by, with his ex-lover's attempts to talk to him, the more he became reluctant to let go.

He gave his self a mental shake. "No...You've gone this far. You shouldn't be backing out now." he said firmly. "And besides...it's been three years since the procedure became possible. The longer I had put it aside, the lesser the success rate turned out." the thought made him walk faster so that he could retire in his bed.

"There's no way I would survive after that."

He turned around the corner and stopped abruptly when he noticed a familiar car parked outside their apartment. He took a deep breath and summoned his courage to march up to the car.

The window slid down and out peeked Rinko. "Ryuzaki-kun!" she unlocked the door and Ryoma slipped in.

"What do you want, Echizen-san?" Ryoma asked, wanting to finish the conversation immediately. "I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that I would be the one who will contact you, not the other way around."

Rinko glanced at the man beside her. That flattering feeling in her gut returned. He swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel tight. "I have a few questions that need some answers."

"Oh? And what are those Echizen-san?" Ryoma asked. They were too close. Ryoma could feel that magnetic pull of kinship that he swore he would thwart. He maintained a cool, aloof aura and kept his gaze focused ahead.

"Who are your parents? Why do you look just like my son? Why--"

"My parents died in an accident a year after I was born." Ryoma cut her off. "It was my grandmother who took care of me after that, until she died four years ago from heart failure." he was amazed how the words came out if his mouth effortlessly. 'Maybe because it's what you've been telling everyone almost your entire life.'

"Why I look like your son, you asked?" Ryoma smiled bitterly. "Research says that there are at least 10 people in the world that looked similar. I think you're being overrated about this."

Rinko just studied the young man before her. She can't help but feel sad for him. For some reason, something inside her opposes to her decision. Something in her doesn't want Ryuzaki Ryoma to die.

"Is there anything else..." Ryoma chose that time to look at her, golden eyes gazing up to her. "...Rinko-san?"

Rinko felt her heartbeat raced as she was mesmerized by those golden eyes. "I-I want to know what pushed you to do this, Ryuzaki-kun. What cause this decision?"

Ryoma sighed and looked out to his apartment. 'Should it really come to this?' he asked his self. He closed his eyes and remembered the enrapt expressions of his ex-lovers earlier, how they were mesmerized by his music...how raw the emotions were in their eyes. He sighed. 'It's not like I'd be alive long enough to experience those again.'

"I have a bullet lodged inside my brain for almost three years, Echizen-san." he turned to the woman and smiled sadly. "Isn't that reason enough to push me over the edge?" he opened the door and gave the perturbed woman one last glance.

"I think you should worry about how you're going to make your son accept my heart, Echizen-san."

"I am facing enough problem on my own that I don't need to be worried by that of the others'. I don't think you're that cruel not to understand a dying man's quirks."

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"Amazing..." Fuji breathed out as he watched the video for the third time that night. He and his lovers were huddled on the bed, watching Ryoma's performance which Ohtori good-naturedly taped for them. "So beautiful..."

He traced Ryoma's animated figure with a trembling finger, not noticing the single tear that escaped his eye. "Too bad I wasn't able to see this personally." he felt a warm, comforting arm around his waist.

"It's ok Syusuke." Atobe whispered to his ear. "It'll only be a short time until we'll be able to have him back."

"And by then he will be able to do this for us...forever." Tezuka added and he pulled the two against him.

Sanada watched his three lovers with a wistful smile on his lips. An image of Ryoma flashed in his head. 'Yes...only a few more walls and we'll be able to break through and reclaim what is ours.' he joined the three in watching the video again. "And the happiness that we so longed will be finally ours to keep."

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Ohtori found his best friend sulking on his bed that night. He came in late since he had a date with his boyfriend.

'Oh man.' he knew that the golden-eyed man was mad at him for what he did but it's shouldn't have gone this far. "Ryoma?" he moved towards the bed and realized that the man wasn't sleeping...he was just staring off into space.

He felt his heart constrict at the defeated state of his best friend. "Oh god Ryoma I'm sorry." he sat next to him and held his warm yet lifeless hands. "I just thought--"

"You shouldn't have done that, Choutarou." Ryoma's monotonous drawl came to his ear. "You know very much that I can't get close to them anymore."

Ohtori bit his lip as guilt and sadness filled his heart. He could sense the tears welling up his eyes as blank, golden orbs looked up to him.

"I'm trying to stay away so that saying goodbye wouldn't be so hard." Ryoma continued, unconscious to the fact that his own tears were trailing down his cheeks. "The more that they come closer, the more pain I feel...pain that I shouldn't be feeling for them because they left me on my own."

"the more that I'm being pushed towards them...the harder it is for me to accept the fact that I'm dying...that I'm allowing myself to die."

Ohtori's sobs echoed into the room as he finally lost the battle with emotions and held the man tight. "Please stop this...p-please Ryoma..." he held Ryoma tighter, not caring if he's already hurting the man.

"Please stop talking like you're dying already...please!"

"Shhhh." a soft caress wiped off the tears from his cheeks. "Don't cry now. You know very much how I hate seeing you cry."

Ohtori's whimpered in distress as he let all control go and dissolved into fits of sobs.

"Hush now, Choutarou..." Ryoma's soothing voice echoed in his ears. "Give this one to me, ok?"

"For once let me carry all the burden that is supposed to be mine."

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A/N: Ahh there! As one of the reviewers had noticed, it has a similar plot to that of the Korean show, I'M SORRY, I LOVE YOU. However, there are and will be distinct differences. Heheheheheheh...

Only a few chapters to go! Please support me, ne?! Yay!!!!!

IF YOU WANT MORE...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. forgetting inhibitions

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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The week passed by and Ohtori watched in despair as his best friend slowly regresses from life. Yes, Ryoma might still be breathing, walking, moving, creating music beautifully as he always do but in split seconds that the world misses, Ryoma became void of everything.

The smiles were all fake or if not, forced. The chuckles, the joust were all done half-heartedly and the man can't help but blame himself for what happened.

"Stop that Choutarou." Niou's eyes narrowed as he studied his boyfriend. Drowned in guilt, the hazel-eyed man seemed to have lost his glow. "Ryoma had told you, and I have been telling you all week, it's not your fault."

Ohtori sighed as he prodded his food. Niou took him out tonight to cheer him up a little. "I know but I was the one who--"

Niou forcefully dropped his fork. "Stop this nonsense right now." His stern expression softened at the sight of the flinching man. "You must keep in mind that by being like this, you are denying Ryoma the opportunity of spending probably the last minutes of his life with you as his best friend."

Ohtori took in his lover's words slowly, feeling the weight of it as realization finally came to him.

"I know that for some reason, Ryoma finally realizes that he's probably acting as a burden to the people around him, which he is not, that's why he's starting to pull away." Niou bit his lower lip at the unexpectedly harsh words that came out form his mouth.

"This is the moment that we need to pool our efforts together and give him happy memories just in case he decides to let go despite of our ordeals to hold on to him longer."

'Yes...' Ohtori told his self. 'I have been too caught up in my misery that I forgot I'm supposed to be the one by his side. I've been a fool. Oh god...Haru is right.' He finally found the courage to smile at his lover.

"You're right Haru-san. It's awful that I have been behaving like a child these days." He reached out a grasped Niou hand firmly. "But I do have to correct you on your last statement." He beamed at his lover.

"I will give him happy memories that will last him a lifetime, not because of his impending death." There was a flash of determination in his eyes. "I will not let go, definitely until the last breath he breathes and the last beat of his heart."

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Ryoma tried to act as normal as he possibly could. In fact, he promised his self that every second of his life will be lived to its fullest. What he couldn't help, however, was the idea of death that kept haunting him every second that ticked off his clock. For he knew that he's racing against time.

"Ryuzaki-kun?"

He turned around and saw the perverted, but amicable face of Echizen Nanjiroh standing behind him with that smile. Despite how he tried to work out some anger over the years, all his efforts seemed to vanish every time he's with the man. On how he could put up a front with his mother and his brother, he can only wonder.

Ryoma realized that he wasn't able to put up an act when he's with his father. It seemed like being with him seemed so natural to him.

"Ahh Echizen-san." Ryoma smiled timidly at the man who chose that opportunity to seat next to him by the counter. Backlash has just finished rehearsing for their performance that night and the rest of the band members were languidly lounging in the bar.

Nanjiroh smiled at him. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? You are free to call ne Nanjiroh-san or Jiroh-san."

Ryoma's smile broadened at the aura that the man was radiating. "Ahhh...old habits die hard Jiroh-san."

Nanjiroh snatched a bottle of beer from the counter and handed it to him. "You're young Ryuzaki-kun. There's still ample lot of time to change those habits."

Ryoma chuckled a little as he accepted the bottle from the man. "Indeed." He took a sip, savoring the sweet taste of the cold beer in his mouth. He caught glance of the man in his peripheral vision and noticed how the expression on his face became serious for a while. "Is there anything bothering you, Jiroh-san?" The name rolled in his lips naturally.

'What more if I get to call him Dad for real?' A question popped in his head that Ryoma immediately dismissed. 'Nostalgia is not an option right now.' He told his self sternly.

Nanjiroh chugged half of his bottle before answering. "It's just that my son is sick again and it's turning my whole family upside-down." He muttered.

'Ahh so that woman stuck to the agreement.' Ryoma vaguely remembered telling Rinko not to disclose their deal with her husband.

"I mean," The former tennis pro continued. " yes I want my son to live longer. It is very painful to have lost one already but seeing how much it pains Ryoga to accept the fact that someone else is going to die in order for him to live pains me as well."

Ryoma closed his eyes. 'I'm not having this conversation. Shit! Why now?!' He bit his lip hard to suppress any unwanted emotion to resurface.

"Sometimes I can't help but think that God somehow planned this out for us and we can't just simply stop it." Nanjiroh sighed and the rest of the beer disappeared into his mouth. "But I couldn't stop Rinko from behaving that way too. She's acting on a primitive instinct to protect her son. She already lost one and that nearly drove her to insanity."

Ryoma gazed deep into his father's eyes and saw the evidence of years of pain and sadness he had to endure. If he wasn't so into his plan, he would've blurted out that he's his dead son already.

"C-can you tell me about this dead son of yours?" Ryoma dared to ask. 'This might be the only chance I will give them to tell me their side of the story.' He added silently.

Nanjiroh snatched another bottle and opened it. "My baby boy was just three weeks old. Ryoga's about seven then when I took my family back to Kyoto for the baby's baptism. Rinko insisted that we go back to my hometown to make it symbolical. Another Echizen was born to conquer the world." He smiled bitterly as he recounted the events of their tragic past.

"There were a lot of people in the hotel and we have been so busy with the preparations and all. The event was about to start when someone grabbed his from Rinko's arms. Chaos broke after that then an explosion." Nanjiroh massaged his neck as he continued. "The last thing I could recall was the place was on fire. The first thing I did was grab Rinko and Ryoga and hurried outside." He leaned on the counter, sadness overflowing from his chest. He didn't care if tears were trailing down his cheeks. He just continued.

"A lot of people died...if not burned to ashes, suffocated to death. With a hysterical wife and a traumatized son, I don't know what to do first. Hours after that, the rescue team declared the rescue operation off. They found the criminal who died of suffocation. I searched the burnt hell on my own; hoping against hope that somewhere buried under the rubbles was my son, alive like a miracle of God."

Ryoma couldn't help but feel great affinity towards the man as he reached out and placed a comforting arm on his shoulders. 'Stop it...I don't want to hear anymore. Please...'

"But all I found was a slightly brunt mitten that belonged to him. I recognized it since his mother painstakingly made it while waiting for him to come out into the world. It was then I realized that my son died...and I-I wasn't even able to give him a name."

"It's ok Jiroh-san." Ryoma did his best to fight off the tears that started to well up his eyes. His throat hurt as he tried to quell the sobs that wanted to come out. "Wherever your son is now, I think he's happy seeing that you are well."

To his surprise, those words were spoken out of sincerity...something that he vowed never to give them as long as he still has a breath to spare.

Nanjiroh hastily wiped his tears off and smiled at him. "Thank you, Ryoma-kun for lending me your precious time, listening to an old man's whines."

Ryoma smiled back. "It's always fun and interesting...listening to old men whine, Jiroh-san." It sounded more like compliment than an insult.

Nanjiroh's genuine laughter echoed inside the bar and ringing inside Ryoma's eyes sweetly like the welcoming bells of a church's ensemble.

"You better give me a good game someday, Ryoma-kun." Nanjiroh said after recovering from his outburst. "I've been hearing stories about your prowess in tennis."

Ryoma chugged down his beer before smiling at the man. "Soon my old man." Then a gloomy thought flashed in his mind. 'Very soon.'

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Monday...it was the most talked about event of the year that woke Ryoma earlier than usual. Today was the launch of Atobe's newest product HiWyrd. The young business magnate, together with his three lovers, had organized a sort of rave party in his mansion for the investors, business associates, celebrities and other important personalities.

He shouldn't be bothered by any of it but apparently, Ohtori and Nanjiroh agreed to sign Backlash as the main band for the event, much to Atobe's licking.

"I'm starting to hate this idea." Ryoma groaned as he peered past into the grand dance hall of the Atobe Mansion which turned into a bar for the night. He looked down and saw his outfit, which Ohtori personally picked.

"Great." He groaned. He just had to be the leather-clad, Goth rocker who has too much skin to show. He turned around and glared at his best friend who was busy prepping up their band mates, wearing a similar leather outfit but considerable more decent that his. He desperately pulled the silver-haired man aside and snarled into his ear.

"Choutarou, this is definitely out of our league!" Instead of succumbing to his ominous and, hazel eyes gazed into his playfully.

"Come on!" Ohtori patted his back. "After turning down more than ten record deals in three years, I think they already know what we're capable of and they're just lucky enough to be here tonight and witness it."

Ryoma continued to glare at him until he let out a sigh of defeat. "If we screw up big time, it's your ass I'll personally chop off..." He turned around and walked away.

"Then what will Haru-san play with if you do that?!"

He was thankful that the place was dark or else everyone would've seen how he flushed like a tomato.

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"Atobe."

The diva turned around and saw Oshitari approached with Oishi in tow.

"I'm glad you could make it." Atobe smiled at them. Oshitari was kinda enough to smirk back while Oishi maintained his iron will and just stared back stoically.

"Congratulations on your new venture." The young lawyer told him. "It seems like you're unstoppable now."

Atobe smiled sadly, his gaze lingering on Oishi. "Not entirely."

"Oh we're not going into that topic again, Atobe-kun." Oishi rolled his eyes, making Atobe smirk.

"Pardon me. Please enjoy the party." He left the couple and went upstage, signaling the start of the festivities.

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Fuji went back to his usual anti-social lovers who stood not very far from the visitors, preferring solitude as their company.

"Mitsu, Gen, what are you doing there?" Fuji frowned when he came to their table. "This is Kei's big night. The least that you could do is get up your asses and show him your utmost support."

Tezuka eyed Sanada. "Fine. I guess I can mingle but just for tonight." He stood up and smooth out his shirt. "This is Keigo's big night after all."

Sanada sighed and stood up as well. "I wonder what surprise Keigo was rambling about earlier." He smiled at his lovers as he took their hands and lead them into the crowd. It was then that Atobe took the stage for a while, stopped the crazed dancing to deliver his speech.

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Ryoma sat inside the dressing room, rocking his brains out when Ryoga stumbled inside, looking like he drank a bit than what he could actually handle.

"Oi!" The man saw him and slumped before him. "Bastard. What are you doing here?"

Ryoma looked up to study his intoxicated brother and smirked. "Can't hold up your tequila, Ryoga?"

Ryoga glared at him. "Shut up you...you home wrecker. You took Syusuke away from me!" Clearly, he's not himself at all. Ryoma sighed and brushed his spiced-up comment off. He stood up and paused before the drunker model. "And you're cocky!"

"Damn I hate you."

Ryoma smirked. "Oh really? The feeling's mutual, moron."

Ryoga took deep breaths, wiping the sweat off his face. "He just can't forget about you. He played me for two years, imagining you while he's with me." He barely noticed that he was already crying. "I don't even know if there was a time that he truly loved me for who I really was. Damn I want to die right now."

Ryoma studied his brother at his semi-hysterical drunken state. "Ahh..." It was all the he could say. 'So that's what happened huh?' He shrugged off the fluttering in his stomach."That couldn't be helped."

"Differences aside, I think you're one lucky guy Echizen Ryoga." The younger Echizen allowed a few tamed emotions to escape, knowing that the man will eventually forget it in the morning.

"Your parents love you so much." He shook his head in disbelief. "So much and yet your wasting your life away. How I wished to be in your position right now." With this, he walked out of the room, leaving his older brother gaping after him.

He could hear the crowd grew still when they went up the stage. He smirked at the stillness of the night. 'Ahhh...mada mada dane.'

"Good evening." Ryoma's husky voice echoed inside the hall. "We're Backlash." He closed his eyes as Narumi started on the beginning notes on the song in his electric guitar.

"Here we go."

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The night went from lukewarm to boiling hot and it was all because of Ryoma's band. It was nirvana for the golden-eyed man for playing music, like tennis made him forget and gave him a different kind of hype.

However like a song...everything must eventually come to its end. It may have ridden out until the wee hours of the mourning but eventually the party broke up.

"Where's Ryuzaki-senpai?" Narumi asked Ohtori after they stashed their instruments inside the van.

Ohtori looked around and saw no sign of the golden-eyed man. "He probably headed home already. You know how grumpy he gets after a gig." He told his kohai who was already stifling a yawn.

"Ok! It's a wrap everybody! Good job!" The door of the van slid shut and away they drove.

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"Great, that should be the last of it." Fuji collapsed on the sofa the moment they finished seeing off the guests.

Tezuka glanced at his watch. It was already 2:30 am. "Remind me next time to disagree at any plans of another rave party in the future." He turned to the man of the night who was surprisingly nodding off beside Sanada.

"Oh odd...Keigo usually can stand all-nighters." Sanada muttered as he shifted to accommodate the frame of his lover.

"Well if he hadn't had that much fun like a teenager before Gen." Fuji pointed out. "I'm glad we're able to bag Ryo-chan's band tonight. It certainly helped a lot of people relax and unwind."

Tezuka groaned. "Remind me that when I'm in a meeting this Wednesday."

"Guys...c'mon...break it up." They heard Atobe mumbled against Sanada's chest.

"Let's take him upstairs so we can have a proper rest." Sanada said and carried the diva in his arms. Fuji and Tezuka followed him closely as they made for the stairs.

Tezuka blinked a few times to waive off sleep when he happened to look out into the gardens and saw a view that made his heart skip a bit.

"Mitsu, anything wrong?" Fuji touched his arm. He followed Tezuka's line of vision and gasped. Indeed, standing in the garden was Ryoma, holding a bottle of wine...basking underneath the moonlight.

Sanada noticed that he could no longer hear footsteps after him so he turned around only to see Tezuka and Fuji dashing down the stairs. "Ei what's up?!"

"Ryoma's still here!!!" Fuji's faint reply came to his ears and sleep soon left forgotten.

"Keigo, wake up." He gently shook the man in his arms.

"What is it?" Atobe stirred.

"Open your eyes and there's your surprise waiting in the garden." Sanada gently help the diva into his feet, allowed him a few seconds to process the situation before he grabbed the man and rushed to follow the two.

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The moment they stepped off the stage, Ryoma drifted away form the crowd with a bottle of tequila. He soon found his self standing in the garden which he so admired when he was still living in this mansion five years ago.

If he could still remember everything correctly now as he drank is way into half the bottle. Memories...nothing but nostalgic, bittersweet memories of his past flashed before his eyes like a fast-tracked movie as he stood at the very same spot where he used to five years ago.

'I used to come to this place after Keigo and I quarreled so much that I just needed a tiny bit of space to breathe.' Ryoma mused as he brought the bottle to his lips once more. 'I used to love this place.'

"_But all I found was a slightly brunt mitten that belonged to him. I recognized it since his mother painstakingly made it while waiting for him to come out into the world. It was then I realized that my son died...and I-I wasn't even able to give him a name." _

Ryoma couldn't help but frown at the flashback of his conversation two days ago with his father. 'It's not far from what Sumire-baa-chan told me. She said that she was in a vacation when the kitchen of the hotel blew up. There was supposed to be a party held for a very famous tennis player.' he swallowed more of the intoxicating fluid as he continued recalling. 'She said she saw me crying at one corner, brawling at the top of my lungs and took me. Then I started living my life as a Ryuzaki after that.'

He smiled bitterly as an image of his beloved grandmother flashed in his head. 'Should it really come to this, Baa-chan?'

"Ryoma?"

He closed his eyes. He need not to turn around to identify who spoke for he knew that voice so well that the familiarity almost made his heart ache.

"It's been five years since I last spent time on this spot." He muttered, feeling the effects of alcohols in his system staring to command his body. "Standing here now gives me a melancholic feeling."

Footsteps came closer but he didn't move an inch. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Yes, it has been quite a long time ne, Ryoma?" Tezuka stood behind him, savoring the ethereal beauty before him which the moon highlighted. Under its faint rays, Ryoma's skin looked like porcelain, his hair like dark emeralds, his eyes like the sun itself.

"Six years together then five years apart..." Ryoma muttered. He felt a warm hand on his arm. He's supposed to flinch but he didn't. It seemed too normal to be touched that way.

"We could end that five years now Ryoma." Came Fuji's voice floating in the air. He touched Ryoma's arm in the same fashion, gazing up to Tezuka apprehensively.

"End? Ahhh I know the meaning and weight of that word." Ryoma muttered as another pair of arms circled his waist from behind. "I understand it more than anyone could."

Atobe buried his face into Ryoma's nape, inhaling the scent that is Ryoma's alone, savoring the strength of those muscles underneath the sexy leather outfit. "Please don't make it sound like you're dying or something." He pleaded.

"We could start all over Ryoma."

Ryoma, who had his eyes closed, sighed. 'It shouldn't be like this. My heart aches so much. The more I tried to ignore your presence, the more the longing intensified.' He then felt a very light pressure on his lips that sent tingles to the tips of his fingers. He slowly opened his eyes, only to drown in the feverish gaze from hazel orbs that belonged to Sanada.

He let out a small gasped when he realized that the man was too close. Sanada took that opportunity to kiss him again, longer...softer...passionately this time like he's ending a five-year drought by tasting the first drop of rain.

The sound of a bottle hitting the carpeted ground triggered the insatiable thirst in his chest as Ryoma finally gave in to the hunger that sprang into life when their lips met. The possibility of having an episode forgotten, the painful memories of their abandonment vanished as he let his body be crushed and molten by the searing heat from his former lovers...or is it still former?

All questions died down from his brain. All protests melted as he shared in another fiery kiss with Tezuka. All he could actually do it let go and allow himself a taste of life...just before he took one final plunge into death.

'I deserve this...' Ryoma thought as he was lowered on a familiar king-sized bed, still being ravished by the four. 'From all the sufferings I went through and sacrifices I made...'

'I deserve to be happy just before everything that I am ends.'

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A/N: ahhh...yes. But don't get too ecstatic about this new development. Remember how his relationship with Akaya ended? You'll know next chapter.

If your want more...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	12. the wrong turn

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have noticed (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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Ryoma felt the faint rays of the sun kissed his eyelids. With eyes still closed, he slowly drifted back to reality as familiar sore and aches triggered his memory of a passion-filled night, writhing helplessly under not one but four individuals.

Finally feeling consciousness return to him, he slowly opened his eyes...only to be greeted by an intense, skull-splitting pain.

'Damn it!' His initial reaction was to close his eyes again, bit his lips hard to suppress a pained whimper. To add to his torment, more memories of last night came to him. He even remembered reminding each one of them to do it slow but then again, a five-year abstinence from the decadence named Ryoma is much stronger than his whispered pleas.

'This is so bad...shit!' He opened his eyes again, not caring if his vision seemed a bit blurred as he scrambled to free his self from the tangle of limbs and into the floor, still writhing in pain.

"Oh god..." Ryoma groaned as he clutched his head. Tears were freely flowing down his cheeks as the pain seemed to intensify. 'I'mgoingtodieI'mgoingtodieI'mgoingtodie!' His mind was racing a mile a minute as every pain receptor in his brain became stimulated. He started to bang his head on the carpeted floor, as if trying to null the pain. "N-no...!"

The sudden movements and sounds instantly woke Sanada, being a light sleeper, and his instincts warned him of something bad. He blinked a couple of times, barely making out the sounds of whimpers that echoed inside their room.

'What's going on?' He mused. He turned to the middle of their bed, which was supposed to be occupied by Ryoma, only to find it empty. 'He left?' His heart sank at the thought. 'No he couldn't just walk right out after that.' He told his self.

"Oh God...no..."

Soft sobs finally reached his ear and out of curiosity, he gently untangled his body from Atobe and slipped off the bed. 'The sobs are coming from somewhere near.' He mused as he padded towards the bathroom.

"Oh s-shit..."

Empty. He went back to their bedroom, only to find Tezuka stirring from his slumber. "Gen, who's crying?" He softly asked as his blurry eyes, tried to seek out Sanada's frame. The man handed him his glasses.

"I'm trying to find out myself and Ryoma's gone too." He said. The words made the other man sit up abruptly, not caring if he brushed against Atobe roughly.

"No way."

"Be quiet!" Atobe muttered against the pillow, still trying to get back to his beauty sleep.

The sobs seemed to have died down and the more it bothered Sanada. He walked to the other side of bed then froze to find the golden-eyed man, still naked, writhing on the floor with his face contorted in intense pain.

"RYOMA!!!"

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Ohtori woke up abruptly, panting and sweating profusely. Beside him was his lover, still asleep. He placed a hand over his heart, feeling as it raced frantically, almost wanting to jump out of his chest.

'What was that?' He swallowed hard as he silently reached for his cell phone. 'Why do I have a sudden inclination to call Ryoma?' He looked at his phone, gazing at it intently, gripped in his trembling fingers.

Without second thoughts, he dialed his best friend's number.

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Fuji woke up in a start when Sanada screamed. He sat up; eyes flew open, revealing those sapphire orbs.

"What's happening?' He heard Atobe groaned from his position on the bed. Fuji ignored him and turned to his side, only to see Sanada on the floor with their still-naked Ryoma. The door was wide-open, leaving Tezuka as the absentee.

"Ryoma, please tell me what's happening!" Sanada's hysterical rants alarmed him.

"Gen, what's going on?" Fuji asked, still not getting the situation. Sanada didn't reply but he instead took Ryoma in his arms and carried him to bed. The raven-haired man seemed to be sleeping.

"Wake Keigo up then get dressed." His hands were shaking as he hastily put on some clothes on their youngest lover. "Just hurry."

Fuji gaped at him. "I don't under--"

"JUST FUCKING MOVE ALREADY!!!" Sanada screamed at him, with tears flowing down his cheeks relentlessly. "Please!"

The sight of the distressed man and the unconscious Ryoma compelled him to shake Atobe vigorously. "Keigo! Wake up! Something happened to Ryo!!!!"

Tezuka stormed back inside the room, looking panic-stricken for the first time in his life just as Atobe sat up. "I got the car ready."

"Let's get him to the hospital."

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Ryoma fought back the dark haze that was before his eyes but it wouldn't disappear. The pain stopped...the throbbing ceased. He felt like he's floating...weightless

'Am I dead?' He turned to take in his surrounding but everything's black...endless.

'Is this the end?'

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Ohtori slumped back on the bed, sighing in defeat. He gripped his phone tightly. He tried calling...but his unit was out of coverage.

A hand shot up and gently gripped his arm. "Chouta-kun, what's wrong?" A pair of sleepy sapphire orbs gaze up at him in concern.

Ohtori sighed. "I have this bad feeling in my chest. I tried calling Ryo but his phone is off."

Niou sat up, bothered by his lover's distress. "Have you tried calling the apartment?" The other man just nodded sadly. "He'll be alright."

"I know, but..." Ohtori bit his lip. 'I can't help but feel like he needs me right now.'

Silence reigned in the room. Both were trying to find the right words to say to each other when Ohtori's phone rang again.

"Hello?" He could still his heartbeat pulsing in his ear.

"Ohtori, please come to here right now." Came Oishi's panic-stricken voice.

"Something bad happened to Ryoma and I need you here as his legally authorized representative."

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Oishi gripped his phone tightly as he watched Ryoma's body being wheeled inside the CT-scan room. He could feel his throat constricting but he did his best to contain his emotions.

"Yes, Yukimura already took over but in case of any procedure that needs to be done immediately, I need you here to sign the consent forms." His lips trembled as he spoke. His eyes darted from the room where Ryoma disappeared to the four culprits sitting dejectedly on the waiting lounge.

"Thank you." He slid his phone back into his coat pocket before he marched towards the four. 'You can do this, Syuichiroh.' He took a deep breath.

"Oishi." Tezuka muttered the moment the green-eyed doctor stood next to him. "What's--"

Oishi's eyes flashed in anger. "Follow me into the office."

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Nanjiroh paced the expanse of his office repeatedly; anxious of something he couldn't even explain.

" Nanjiroh? What's wrong?" Rinko asked who came in with a mug of coffee.

Nanjiroh sighed. "I don't know. I feel restless but I don't know why." He sighed before pacing again.

"I think coffee's not the best drink for you right now." Rinko smiled at him. "If you're worried about Ryoga, he's fine. He came home drunk last night but he's totally fine this morning."

Nanjiroh just stared at her. "It's not about Ryoga."

Rinko went to him and gently massaged his tensed back. "Then what is it?" She asked gently.

He just shrugged and took his phone. He was browsing through his phonebook when an image of Ryoma flashed in his mind.

"Ryuzaki-kun."

Rinko felt as if someone's fist rammed into her chest. "What did you say?"

Nanjiroh turned to face her, a dangerous, gloomy aura enveloping him. "I need to see Ryuzaki-kun."

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The moment Oishi closed the door behind him, he let everything go. The anger, the frustration towards them, the situation they are in that he kept inside his heart for three long years burst out of his chest like water rushing out of a dam.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" Oishi glared at them, hands shaking uncontrollably.

Fuji gaped at his friend's outburst. "Oishi--"

The doctor was nowhere near calm. He rushed towards the first person he could grab and it was Tezuka. He clenched his shirt tight as he shook in the bespectacled man roughly.

"I told you, the very day you returned, to stay away from him! Look what happened now!!"

After getting over his initial shock, Tezuka pried himself from Oishi's grip. "Yes you did Oishi but how are we supposed to do that when you're all trying to keep us in the dark?!" He yelled back, his composure forgotten. Last night they were in heaven...the next morning they woke up in a seemingly one-way trip to hell and he still doesn't understand a thing.

Fuji was crying now, trying to hold Tezuka from mauling the doctor. "Oishi, why are you doing this? You know that we never wanted to hurt him."

Oishi scoffed. "Don't put up such an act Syusuke. You left him. He had no one to turn to and that is why you do not have a single right to march back into his life!"

Atobe couldn't take it anymore. He could waive off his disturbed slumber but to receive this open verbal attack from the man, it was too much.

"Then why are you trying to keep us from correcting the mistakes we have made?!" He demanded. "We admit that we're the jerks in this relationship but you also do not have the right to act like God and decide whether we deserve forgiveness or not!"

A hand shot up and grabbed his arm. It was Sanada who was again, shedding his silent tears.

"We don't have time for this." He told them. "Ryoma needs us now." He gazed back to Oishi. "As what Keigo had said, you do not have the right to stop us. You cannot keep a repentant heart away."

Oishi's anger flared up. "You're not going anywhere near him!"

"And who are you to stop us?" Tezuka asked. "We may be comrades before but I swear to God if you block that door, I will shred you apart!"

The door swung open and in came a grim-looking Yukimura.

"If you're quite through with your tantrum, Oishi, I would like to speak with you regarding my patient's condition." He then gazed at the four of them. "And to answer that question Tezuka, we have every right to keep you away from our patient if we believe that you will only aggravate his condition."

Like snapping out of a daze, Fuji grabbed the teal-haired doctor, desperation shining in his eyes. "Yukimura, please tell me what happened to Ryoma."

"Don't!" Oishi told him. "Remember what you promised to him."

Yukimura took a few seconds to gather his thoughts. "I can't, Fuji."

"But why?" Atobe demanded. The thought of something bad happening to his beloved but not exactly knowing it, scared him the most. "Why are you doing this?"

Yukimura sighed. "Simply because you're not his legal representatives. If you could present me the documents, I would gladly discuss with you your former lover's condition." He gently pried his arm from Fuji's grip before turning to Oishi.

"Doctor, I believe we're in a mission to save a life?" With this, he grabbed Oishi's arm and led him outside.

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Ohtori sprinted all the way to Ryoma's room where in he saw his friend, still unconscious with and EEG machine and an oxygen tank connected to his body. Seeing Ryoma like this, too vulnerable for the man's character squeezed his heart.

"Oh god no." His lips quivered as the tears fells down his cheeks. He stumbled towards the bed and gripped his limp hand tightly in his own. "Please...this is not happening."

'Don't leave me...don't die yet, Ryoma!'

"He's not in a very critical stage anymore, Ohtori-kun." Yukimura's voice came to his ear. He ignored the footsteps as they approached. All his senses, his entire being was focused on the man on the bed. "There is just a sudden increase in the intracranial pressure in his head and the bullet shifted in position."

"What?" Ohtori's head snapped towards hi direction. "But that is impossible. Ryoma's been avoiding--"

Yukimura smiled bitterly as he sat down on the bed. "He apparently had been having sex all night with his ex-boyfriends." he smirked. "I could only imagine how that went."

Ohtori gaped at the doctor. "Oh no..."

_"I'm sorry, Ohtori-kun but I can't go one like this. It's like I have him but not completely." Kirihara averted his gaze. _

"_It's just sex Kirihara!" Ohtori cried in exasperation. "It's not like you're going to die without it! You know very much--"_

_"I know ok?!" Kirihira suddenly cried. "But what am I supposed to do? I can be with him but not touch him! Can you imagine how--"_

_"Then leave him then!" Ohtori shot back. "If you can't love him in his sickness, then you do not deserve to be with him, ever!"_

He closed his eyes at the memory. 'This is so not happening.'

"There had been an onset of edema formation inside his brain." Yukimura brought him back to reality. "It was very fortunate enough that they were still in the right state of mind and were able to bring him here as soon as possible. Under Oishi's orders, he's given a diuretic drug to drain out the excess fluids and lessen the pressure that's pushing the bullet further into his head."

Ohtori realized that he let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding back. "Oh really? Great! When will he wake up?"

Yukimura frowned a bit. "We don't know that yet but his EEG seemed good." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Your mission right now is to convince him to stay here and submit to the operation. After what happened, no one can tell when will be the next attack."

He stood up and studied the man's room. 'It's been quite a while since he last occupied this room.' He shook his head to relieve himself of the sad memories of the past. "This is the last of the three-year mark Doctor Oshitari gave him. If the pressure from the bullet doesn't kill him, the neurotoxins from it will."

Ohtori nodded solemnly before shifting his gaze back to his friend. 'Hang in there, buddy. You'll be fine.' He gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"You must."

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They had been quiet ever since Yukimura and Oishi left them. Fuji was in Atobe's arms, still sobbing his heart out while the obsidian-eyed man held him tight, unable to find the words of comfort he needed.

Sanada was seat on top of the table, absent-mindedly fiddling with the ornaments on top of it. He's trying to divert his thoughts, not wanting to believe that they indeed endangered Ryoma's life.

'I'm sorry Ryoma.' Sanada bit his lip. 'I hurt you again. I'm sorry.' he turned to look at his bespectacled lover who was slumped in the sofa, one arm over his eyes. 'I wonder what's Mitsu thinking.' he sighed and turned his gaze to his two other lovers, still hunched in a chair, comforting each other.

_"Just promise me one thing, Gen." He cast his eyes downward. "Please don't tell the others about what happened. I don't want them to worry over unnecessary things." With a sad smile, he looked up again to meet Sanada's gaze. _

_"Will you make this our little secret?" Golden eyes almost shimmered under the dimming world. Looking into those golden orbs made Sanada's heart race. "Please?"_

He closed his eyes tight. 'Was I wrong to believe that he's fine? Should I have taken that situation seriously?'

"I-I want t-to see him." Fuji's choked sobs shattered the fragile silence. "I don't care how we do it but I want to see Ryoma."

Atobe placed a gentle kiss on his temple. "We'll find a way Syusuke. Not even Oishi nor Yukimura will be able to stop us from doing that."

A loud crash made them jolt. the turned to the source of sound and saw Tezuka, still seated on the sofa, with his knuckled turning white still kicking the side table.

"Mitsu!"

"Damn it!!!" Tezuka cried, unable to control his anger anymore. "If we're not getting anything from here, we might as well find it ourselves!"

Sanada grasped his hand. "What are you talking about, Mitsu?" he tightened his grip on the man.

"We're going to Akita this instant and meet with Shishido." Tezuka to face his three lovers, a certain fire burning in his eyes. "I'm not going to stand here and wait stupidly for heaven to crash upon us and give us something."

The thought about his words, weighing their options.

"We will." Atobe said. "But we'll visit Ryoma first."

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Ryoga left early that morning, wanting to get rid of his hangover by doing light activities. He chose walking, as it calms his body and his mind so he could think clearly.

He unknowingly passed by Ryoma's apartment. He doesn't know that the other golden-eyed man lived here but he recognized Niou who was closing the door.

"Niou-kun!" he called out. The platinum-haired model looked up and saw him waving by the gate.

'Oh-uh...' Niou sweat-dropped. "What do you want?" he muttered coldly, gripping the bag star tight. Ohtori had asked him to bring some of Ryoma's clothes to the hospital.

Ryoga waited for the man to get to him. "Is this where you live?" he asked.

"No." Niou answered. "I'm just running some errands." he shifted his weight from one foot to another. 'Would you get the hell out of my face to I can leave?'

Ryoga noticed the man's obvious distress. "Oh ok. I'm sorry I bothered you." he walked off, pretending to be preoccupied with his self.

Niou let out a sigh of relief before he hailed a taxi and jumped in. " Moritaka General Hospital please."

Ryoga turned to the next street, noticing that a cap sped by. He craned his neck and saw Niou in it. "You're so suspicious Niou-kun." He smirked before he hailed another taxi.

"Please follow that cab."

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"He's asleep." Ohtori muttered when he opened a door and it revealed Ryoma's four exes'.

"We know." Sanada smiled sadly." We just want to see him. We promise we won't do anything that would harm him."

"We're leaving." Tezuka muttered. "We just want to see him before we do."

Ohtori studied their depressed faces and sighed. "fine." he stepped out of the way and let them in. "it won't do you any good. Yukimura-san said that he'll be out for a few more hours."

The men ignored him and just went straight to Ryoma's bed. Ohtori chose that moment to step out of the room to give them some time.

Fuji reached out and gently brushed off the stubborn locks that covered Ryoma's eyes. "We're very sorry, love. We didn't know..." a fresh batch of tears threatened to escape his eyes.

Atobe took his free hand and held it tight in his own. "We'll do anything to make it up to you. Just don't leave us just yet." a firm hand grasped his shoulders. He looked up and saw Tezuka, tears falling silently down his cheeks. "Mitsu..."

"Don't say that." Tezuka's lips quivered. "Our Ryoma is much stronger than that; he wouldn't permit failure." he closed his eyes. 'He wouldn't give up so easily.'

Sanada chose to keep his mouth shut. He just studied Ryoma intently. Every detail of his lover's sleeping form; he took in; from the machines attached to him to the every single movement he made. He counted a full minute to make sure he's breathing evenly.

'He's still fighting.' a small smile grazed his lips. 'Thank you Ryoma. You're giving me something to hold on to.'

Tezuka leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. "Sleep well, love."

The door opened and in came Ohtori.

"I'm sorry. Please do go on." Ohtori smiled shyly. "It's just that Oishi-san might get suspicious if he sees me outside."

"Ohtori-kun." Fuji muttered, still not taking his eyes off Ryoma. "Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to shun us away from Ryoma's life?" hurt...accusing...that was his tone. It's just that everything's too much for him to handle right now.

Ohtori sighed and sat on a chair. "It wasn't us. If there's anyone responsible for this, it is Ryoma. He made us promise to never tell you guys about what happened."

They all stared at the man.

"Ryo would--"

"Ryo was hurt...Ryo was abandoned...Ryoma was alone." Ohtori crossed his legs and clasped his hands together. "That was everything that everyone needed to know to protect him like this."

"and you have to bear in mind that you're the one who hurt him...abandoned him...left him on his own." a sad smile. "You should know that after you left, it was a struggle for him to stand on his own. He was accustomed to a life with you guys."

"It was like he's whole life was shattered when you packed your bags and disappeared."

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He lost Niou but he got the room number he was visiting anyways. He wasted no time as he walked through the halls of the hospital which he'd been very familiar with.

'It was here that I got my first heart.' he mused as he searched for the numbered room.

"Aha!" he smiled triumphantly as he stood before Ryoma's door.

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"It's a bit selfish for him, for us to do it to you, right?" Ohtori stood up and sat on the near, near Ryoma's head. "I guess he deserved an opportunity to selfish after all that he has given up in life."

"You mean how he quit tennis?" Tezuka asked. "Are you trying to tell us that he quit tennis before we broke up?"

"No." Ohtori shook his head. "In fact, Ryoma immersed into a training regimen so intense just to forget what you guys did."

"Then why did he quit?" Atobe asked. "We were expecting to see his name on top of the tennis hierarchy."

"Things happened." Ohtori shrugged. "Ryoma even tried to get involved in another relationship."

"what?!" all four of them were flabbergasted. Everyone should know that Ryoma's off-limits...even if they broke up.

"But Kirihara left him too." Ohtori gently caressed Ryoma's silky locks. "No tennis, no sex life, no boyfriend...sucks to be him, right?"

He looked up to meet their gazes. "But no matter how his life sucked, we want him to stay alive...because he made life possible for so many people."

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Ryoga had heard enough. Not but anger...anger towards Ryoma who managed to forget his Fuji and get on with another relationship clouded his brain.

"Damn you!" He muttered under his breath. " He used me all those years and yet you were here..." he paused to take a deep breath." Damn you!"

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"No one seems to be home, Nanjiroh." Rinko muttered as they drove outside Ryoma's apartment.

Nanjiroh ignored her and got out of the car. He went to the gate, noticing it was locked. He looked over to Ryoma's house and sighed.

'Ryuzaki-kun...what happened to you?' he frowned. 'Why are you affecting me like this?'

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Fuji sighed as he climbed up the stairs and into Atobe's personal jet. He sat beside Tezuka and held his hand tightly.

"We can do this, Mitsu." he smiled up at him. He then turned to Atobe and Sanada. "We'll change everything. We'll show these people that we will never leave Ryoma again."

"Whatever sickness he may have, we'll take care of him and nurse him back to health." Sapphire orbs shimmered. "We'll grow old together and even if we're grey and balding, we'll still look at each other and still be in love..."

"Until we die."

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Ryoma woke up to the smell of disinfectant. He grimaced. The last thing that he could remember was waking up in Atobe's bed and now he's in a hospital.

"G-great...j-just great."

"I see you're still a brat."

He gently pried his eyes open, taking in a few seconds to accustom his sight into the light in the room. The next thing he noticed was he throat felt very dry. He glanced to his side and saw Niou standing over him. He smiled at him and tried to speak.

"Don't...I know you feel dehydrated." Niou turned to pour him a glass of water. "Choutarou told me that they had to drain you to keep you from falling into coma."

Ryoma just listened to him while he tested the strength of his feet and arms. Golden orbs looked up to him adorably.

"I told you." Niou sighed and raised the head of his bed. "here." he held the glass to his lips, letting the man slowly drink the precious liquid.

"Ma-Masaharu."

Niou laid the glass on his bedside table and fixed his blanket over him. "Rest up."

"Ch-Choutarou?" Ryoma felt stupid, speaking like this. He felt useless.

"He's getting us food." Niou smiled at him gently. "And taking care of your bills."

Ryoma's smile widened. 'Oh Choutarou. You're the best.'

"He's your best friend after all. He knew better than to let you stay here and get cranky." Niou reached out and ruffled his hair playfully. By doing so, he saw the small thin scar that was a reminder of the man's grave past.

"Thank you, Masaharu." Ryoma was finally able to find enough coherence to say it. Then something came to his head. "Where are Kunimitsu and the others?"

Niou's found his smile faltering at his question. "They left yesterday. After staying a few hours here, they left."

Ryoma couldn't help but frown. 'They left me again?'

"Well...Oishi made them."

Ryoma sighed. "Syuichiroh-san is such a worrywart."

"Everyone's a worrywart when it comes to you, brat."

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Ryoga composed his thoughts while passed time in the hospital lounge. 'I won't let him dot his to Syusuke.'

He gritted his teeth. 'The nerve of that guy! Syusuke...he loved him so much and this is what he does to repay him?'

_"I'm not doing this because you're sick. I'm really sorry Ryoga but I just can't force myself to keep on making you believe that I'm totally committed into this relationship."_

Golden-eyes gleamed in determination. "I won't let my sacrifice be put to waste. I won't allow you to continue hurting my Syusuke, Ryuzaki Ryoma."

"I will have none of it."

forfeitfofeit

It took him a few hours to be able to walk around and declare that he was good as new. He allowed Niou to leave and look for his lover so that they could go home while he packed his bag.

"_I'm telling you this, Ryuzaki-kun, not because I want to scare you." the elderly man frowned. "This is the only chance you have to a longer life." _

_Golden eyes blinked back the apprehension. "But you're telling me also that this might not succeed at all, right?" _

_The man sighed. "It's a risk--"_

_"Then it's a risk I'm willing to forego, Doctor Oshitari." Ryoma smiled sadly. "As you can see, I'm on my own now. If you take whatever is left with me, I don't think if I'd have the will to live longer." _

Ryoma sighed and sat back on his bed. Three years...and it's all coming to an end. He grabbed his phone, still no call nor a small message from his four lovers.

"I guess they finally had the since of decency to realize that we can't be together ever again." a sad melancholic smile grazed his lips. "I'm sorry guys..."

There was a knock on the door. Ryoma composed his self.

"Come in."

To his surprise, a stoic-looking Ryoga went in. 'what's he doing here?' it was the first question that popped in his head.

"I see you're doing well." Ryoga started.

Ryoma shrugged. "Nothing to fuss over, Echizen. What do you want from me?" he sat back on the bed and studied the profile of his brother.

"Nothing much." Ryoga gritted his teeth. 'This is it.' he closed his eyes for a moment, by the time he opened them; he also let out all the anger in his heart.

"I'm just here to tell you what a selfish, self-centered person you are."

Ryoma gaped at him. It took him a few seconds for his words to stick to him. "What the hell did you just say?!"

Ryoga was already shaking in anger. "You are selfish! That is was what I said. Syusuke had been like a fool for two years, imagining you in my stead and in stead you're pushing him away!" he clenched his fists tight.

"how dare you hurt the one person I love the most?!"

Ryoma's icy glare slashed through his soul. It seemed like the temperature inside the room dropped drastically.

"Selfish? You're calling me selfish?" He advanced slowly towards Ryoga who was rooted on the spot. "You might be mistaken Ryoga. It is you who has taken almost everything from me and you will be taking more in the future and now tell me who between the two of us IS FUCKING SELFISH?!"

Ryoma forgot that he's supposed to be sick...that he's not supposed to be stressed out like this. The anger towards his family, towards his brother that he had long kept inside his heart poured out like molten lava.

"You don't have any idea of what kind of hell I had been through!" Ryoma yelled. "I was I who had been sacrificing from the very start! It was I who was always left behind! I had never tried holding on to someone just because I love them! I never--"

"What's going on?" Ohtori burst into the room, looking Ryoma then to Ryoga.

Ryoma took deep breaths to calm his self down. "You know nothing about me so you do not have even the tiniest right to call me selfish and self-centered." tears welled up in his eyes.

Ryoga froze. Seeing this man lash out on him then looking so forlorn made something tug inside his heart. It swelled with unexplained longing for the man. 'Why?'

"Get out!" Ryoma screamed, losing all control. "Get out of my sight!"

Ohtori snapped from his daze and grabbed Ryoga. "Please leave now. Don't do this to him." he muttered to the man before pushing him out of the room and slamming the door to his face. 'Don't do this to your brother.'

He turned to Ryoma who was crouched down, hugging his knees while sobbing his heart out.

"Ryoma..."

"H-how dare he? h-how dare he t-talk to me like that w-when I'm t-the one trying to save his life?!"

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The limo stopped in front of a traditional-looking onsen and four handsome men stepped out of it.

"Here we are..." Sanada took a deep breath as he studied the letters on the store label.

"It's time to pay an old friend a visit." Atobe smirked as he pulled his lovers into the onsen.

"I thought you'd never come."

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A/N: wow...that was...I don't know. I hate this! I did this in the midst of a pending nursing care plan that I need to pass tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!! So that would be the reason for the sloppy editing of this chapter. Gomen!

To 1xmocha: remember this?

to everyone: next chapter will be the only song-themed chapter in this story and I intend...or will try to squeeze the tears out of your tear ducts...so hang on ne?

...though I'm not so sure if I can do it. heehee...

NOTES:

Edema: swelling caused by a shift of fluid from the veins and arteries into the spaces between the cells.

Diuretic: a drug that promotes diuresis or urination

EEG: Electro-encephalogram…reads brainwaves

IF YOU WANT MORE...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. can't cry hard enough

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

P/S: fine since it's already out, I got the idea from a Korean drama. The title is "I'm sorry, but I love you".

THIS IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST CHAPTER...TO DATE.

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They marveled at the new and more mature Shishido Ryoh who appeared before them. The most drastic change in him would be that unfamiliar sad looking eyes that softened his rough edges.

"I'm glad you came over." He said in a low, gruff voice. "Come in."

They eyed each other before following the man inside where they were greeted by a beautiful woman, dressed in yukata as well, caring what seemed to be a baby.

"Anata..."

Shishido gave her a timid smile. "I'll be in the office for a while Yurina. Will you be alright on your own?"

The woman smiled and nodded before facing Tezuka and the others.

"You must be my husband's former colleagues. Welcome to our inn."

They gaped for a few seconds, especially Atobe who knew very well that Shishido is not straight like an iron rod.

Shishido smirked at their shocked faces. "This is Yurina, my wife." He then reached out and took the sleeping baby from her. "And this one is my heiress, Raiah."

Fuji snapped out from his daze and immediately cooed at the baby. "Oh she's beautiful!"

Yurina smiled at him timidly. "I can sense that you and my husband have something important to discuss. I'll have a personnel bring in some tea." With this, she took the baby back and left.

Shishido sighed. "Leave your questions for later." He turned around and led them into his office.

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Oishi was running like a mad man, hoping that he'd be fast enough to beat his favorite patient.

'Damn!' He cursed as he turned around the corner. 'He really is a pain in my ass!!!!' He sped up, wanting to catch up with Ryoma just before he disappears from the hospital when a dark figure suddenly fell upon him as he sprinted across the hall. '

"What the--?!" Oishi caught the man and was brought down in a heap of tangled limbs. After getting over the initial shock, he suddenly noticed the ragged breathing pattern of the man above him.

"Excuse me..." Oishi prodded the ebony-haired figure. "Sir, are you ok?" To his surprise, the man rolled off him unto the floor, clutching his chest as if in pain.

"Holy guacamole..." Oishi blurted out as he recognized the man. Without even seeing the eyes, he could tell from the ebony lock with green undertones and the matured, handsome chiseled faced that the man before him who's having palpitations was none other than Ryoga Echizen.

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Ryoga bit his lip as the pain in his chest intensified. He knew he's very prone to having a heart attack again but he continued running. He couldn't take the look of accusation...of contempt...of hatred from those similar golden eyes.

He didn't hear the doctor cried for assistance. He's losing coherence of almost everything around him except for one person...who's saying those words over and over, that for some reason burdened him with an overwhelming, unexplained guilt.

_"It is you who has taken almost everything from me and you will be taking more in the future and now tell me who between the two of us IS FUCKING SELFISH?!"_

He weaved his way through the fog that started to cloud his consciousness, hearing Ryoma's voice over and over, his heart swelling more in intense emotion and guilt.

'What have I've done?' He asked himself but no answer came to him.

'W-why do I f-feel like I j-just hurt an important person in my life?'

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Oishi forgot all about Ryoma as he heaved Ryoga into the stretcher and sent him to the emergency room immediately with the cardiologist.

"Oishi, what's going on here?" Yukimura's voice came from behind.

"Echizen Nanjiroh's son just had a heart attack." The emerald-eyed doctor replied. "This day is not going to be a good day for us, Yukimura."

The teal-haired neurosurgeon sighed. "I guess Ryoma had sensed it already and invited a whole lot of us to the bar tonight."

Oishi stared at him for a moment. "What?!"

"Check your phone." Yukimura told him. Oishi immediately took out his phone and indeed there was a message from his kohai.

(Will be having a mini thanksgiving tonight at The Barnyard around 9 pm. If you feel I'm important to you, come. If not...you're still mada mada dane.)

Oishi bit his lip. "I correct myself...this will never be a good day for us, Yukimura."

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They had been staring at each other for a while now, ever since they stepped into his office to the time that the tea was delivered.

Shishido sat back calmly, waiting for the outburst he's expecting from the diva. For years he had imagined how Atobe would react.

"That was, um..." Fuji started.

"You're gay..." Atobe cut him off. "But you got yourself a wife. What happened to you? Ohtori's off romping in the city with Niou and you retreated from civilization?"

"Keigo." Tezuka eyed him warningly.

"I'm just stating my point." Atobe shot back.

"Keigo, we're here to ask Shishido-kun a favor." Sanada told him. "Please, control yourself."

"Do forgive him Shishido-kun." Fuji smiled at him apologetically. "He's just shocked."

Shishido chuckled. "It's ok. I've been imagining a more comical reaction than that." His face then sobered up. "If you're wondering if I'm gay, yes I still am." An eyebrow ached up while he met Atobe's challenging gaze. "But I love my wife."

"Then what about Ohtori?" Fuji asked, intrigued by the man. "I thought you and him were practically married."

Shishido gave them a sad smile. "Yeah..."

Tezuka studied the man carefully. He noticed that sad aura again when Ohtori's name was mentioned.

Shishido brushed off the locks of hair that fell on his eyes. "Long story short, I found out he's having an affair with that git Niou and we broke up. Knowing Choutarou's parents, they only permitted him to be gay given that I'm the boyfriend. Niou's not that famous at the time and he's still known for his notorious and scary stature so Choutarou was disowned."

"Really?! Oh my god!" Atobe let out a small gasp. "How tragic."

"Yeah..." Shishido stood up and paced back and forth. "That was the time when Ryuzaki took him in as his housemate since he's living on his own. They both enrolled for a scholarship at Momogaoka and got accepted." his eyes softened a bit. "As for me, knowing that he's not coming back, I concentrated in making a name for myself and you know the rest of the story."

"You brought about one of Japan's successful Onsen chain and got married." Fuji finished for him.

"wait...you said Ryoma took him in?" Tezuka suddenly blurted out.

Shishido paused and gave him a sad smile. "I guess that would be the part that you have been searching for."

"The reason why Ryuzaki wouldn't...or rather couldn't take you back."

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Ryoma collapsed on his bed while Choutarou busied himself with making lunch. Niou left a few minutes ago to organize the party he has in mind.

He closed his eyes and allowed his body to relax. He took in the familiar scent of his room that he has been occupying for three years already, the memories he had with it. He opened them again and took in every visual detail of the room he spent his lonely nights in, the very room who became witness to his struggles, to his journey.

"It's almost a good kind of hurt that I'm here right now...counting the last days...minutes...seconds of my life." He muttered. He turned his attention to the spot where the Echizen's family picture used to be. He imagined his father's smiling face, his mother's melancholic expression and his brother's eternal frown.

"No tennis, no love life, no family..." Ryoma sighed. "Yeah, it sucks to be me."

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"What do you mean "He couldn't take us back"?" Fuji asked. At first he thought it was just a simple vendetta of an injured heart but the time that went by told them that there is so much more...

Shishido sat back on his chair and studied their confused faces. 'Why should I be the whistle-blower?' he massages his temples and sighed. "You do know that Ryuzaki-sensei's already dead, right? She died a year after you went your separate ways."

Tezuka felt a chill ran up his spine. "Yes."

"We're not able to attend her funeral though since everybody was so intent in keeping their mouths shut." Atobe said. 'Including a big chunk of Ryoma's life.'

"And you already know about that shooting incident that killed a number of people which happened a year after that?" They nodded. "And that Ryoma never appeared in any of the professional tournaments?"

"Wait!" Sanada held his hand. "Are you telling me that--?"

Shishido propped in his on his hands. " Ryuzaki Ryoma was one of the unfortunate victims of that shooting spree, Sanada-san."

"The only reason why no one other than the old tennis circuit, not even the press knew about this is that everyone pooled their efforts in helping Inoue-san to keep the news from leaking out." Seeing the how his words slowly dawn upon them in a torturous manner almost made him want to sympathize.

"The news of Japan's no. 1 in tennis being in a state of partial coma is definitely tragic."

"N-no."

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"Choutarou."

The tall man who was busy chopping up vegetables looked up, only to see his golden-eyed friend before him, holding a folder.

"Ryoma, I told you I'll be fine." He smiled, thinking that he's friend might be worried that he would screw up their lunch.

"It's not that." Ryoma slid into a stool. " I have something for you." He slid the folder to him.

Ohtori placed the knife down and took the folder, staring at it curiously. "What is this?" He opened it and scanned its contents.

Ryoma smiled at him. "Remember when you first came here and you were still too talkative for my liking? You rambled about a lot of things back then Choutarou." His smile broadened when he saw how Ohtori's facial turned form curious to shock.

"T-this is..." His hands were shaking. 'He remembered?!' He looked up to meet his friend's sparkling eyes.

"Remember when you ranted about the scholarship for the less privileged, talented persons that you dreamed of creating so that more people could enjoy music?"

Ohtori nodded dumbly, still in a daze.

"I got my time-deposit account invested in this, so it's probably marking to fifty million or so. You've got your fund for the scholarship."

"Oh god...you didn't--" Ohtori was now starting to hyperventilate. Ryoma giving this to him is both good and bad. Good, because his best friend is making his dreams come true. Bad, because it seems like the golden-eyed man was starting to let go...which is NOT a good sign.

Ryoma reached out and took his cold, clammy hand. He held it tight, hoping that the man would realize how grateful he is of his existence in his life. " Choutarou..." Golden eyes seemed to glow brighter due to the unshed tears.

"Please win the Maradonna for me. Win it this time...so that no one will ever forget of our dreams for those who found life in music." A tear rolled down unnoticed. "Do this for me...win this for me so that even though I wasn't the one competing, I'll still feel like a winner...for the last time"

"Ryoma..."

"You gave me life when I thought there's nothing left for me without tennis, without my grandmother, without my real family and most of all, without my lovers." Tears were definitely streaming unabashed down his cheeks. He could only care less about it. He lips quivered, his shoulders shook as he tried to convey his gratitude the best way he knew.

Golden eyes sought out hazel ones what seemed to mimic the intensity of emotions. "You made me realize that life, no matter how short it is, is still worth giving a shot."

"Y-you made me w-want to live every second, enjoy every minute and treasure every day that G-God had allotted for me."

"If I am going to die tomorrow, I'm most glad to do so for I had the privilege of having you as piece of my life's puzzle."

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"You've got to be kidding me!"

His announcement caused a little uproar among the four.

"And no one told us until now?! Unbelievable!!!"

Shishido sighed. 'Just as I had imagined.' He waited for them to settle down before he continued. "Ryuzaki was an unsuspecting bystander when two stray bullets hit him; one to the gut and the other to the head. it was fortunate enough that a couple immediately rushed him to Moritaka Gen. Hospital where Oishi and Yukimura were interns."

Fuji couldn't believe what he's hearing. Five years he spent in foolishness, trying to achieve something in life while the love of his life was fighting for survival. Tears flowed down his cheeks unnoticed. 'You're so stupid Syusuke!!!!!!!!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!'

Tezuka was equally perturbed. He never imagined it to be like this. He was sure of himself that Ryoma's reason for rejecting them was anger towards their break-up but no. While he was away, defending other people, Ryoma was left here with no one to protect him. 'I should have been there to protect him! I should've been the one--'

"He was in coma for two weeks. They were able to manage the bullet in his gut but the one lodged deep into his brain they were not able to remove." Shishido frowned. "They said about unparalleled complications if they tried to venture into it and they can't do that with the patient's consent."

Atobe was shaking his head. 'No...This is not happening. Shishido is just bitching since I skinned him. He's lying...nothing's wrong with my Ryo. He wasn't shot...he--' He closed his eyes, wanting to block the man's voice. 'He should've been safe in the mansion! He should've been riding in our limo, a good mile away from the--'

Sanada gripped the armchair tightly. 'I should've known! I should've known something's wrong with him!' The tears that he so long held back escaped. "Is that why everybody wants to protect him?" he asked

Shishido nodded. "By some work of a miraculous being, Ryuzaki woke up, with the bullet still in his head. It was Oshitari's dad, who was Yukimura's resident, who was handling his case. Oshitari told me that Ryuzaki refused to have the bullet taken out and because of that, he was only given three years to live."

Tezuka shook his head vigorously. " That's not true...Ryoma is still strong...Ryoma's alive..." He bit his lip.'He can't be dying!!!'

"Oshitari called me this morning." Shishido said. 'I want to sympathize...but I don't know how.' He took in a deep breath. "He's Ryuzaki's lawyer. It's already three years since the accident and he reported that Ryoma was rushed to the hospital yesterday, because of you."

He stood up, feeling four pairs of eyes watching his every move. "Recent bouts with intolerable headache, passing out and such are just signs that we've all been dreading for. I don't know what you did to him but he cannot engage with strenuous physical activities since it might increase the pressure pressing on the bullet deeper into his brain. Oishi once told us that the bullet is situated not far from the major blood vessels in his brain." He gazed back at them, almost feeling guilty when he saw the devastated looks on their faces.

"That is why he was forced to quit tennis and it was also the reason why he and Kirihara broke up. No tennis, no sex...seems like a life of the living dead for me."

"But we made love to him! All night!" Atobe blurted out. "Could that--?"

"Yes Atobe...you almost killed your beloved lover."

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Nanjiroh was busy preparing for Ryoma's thanksgiving when Rinko burst into the bar, looking very hysterical.

"What's the fuss, Rinko?" He asked, worried at the continuous flow of tears.

Rinko bit her lip as more tears stained her cheeks. "R-Ryoga...its Ryoga."

Nanjiroh immediately dropped the papers he was holding. "What's did you say?"

"Your son just had a heart attack and he's in the hospital right now!"

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Ryoma glanced at his cell phone for the 20th time that night. With the news of Ryoga in the hospital, He was left to organize the party on his own.

He settled on one of the bar stools while he stared at his phone intently. He sent the invitation to almost everyone he knew...even his ex-lovers. And almost everyone sent a reply...except for them.

'Should I call or not?' He asked, not exactly hoping for an answer. Knowing the status of their relationship now, he expected them to tail him but they didn't. He woke up and they were nowhere to be found. He frowned when he felt the tear warmed his eyes.

"I shouldn't cry...they left me before so I should be used to the feeling already." He hastily wiped of the treacherous tears. He sunk on the counter top, feeling more dejected than ever. Memories of the passion-filled night he spent with them came back to him. 'I shouldn't have allowed myself that moment of weakness.' He sniffled as the longing in his heart intensified.

'Damn it!' He cursed inwardly. 'I love them...I still love them with all of me and I don't want to lose this feeling...but I guess I just can't stop the hands of time from turning.'

'I should have said goodbye. It's the least that I can do for them.' With a deep breath he punched Sanada's number.

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Atobe was staring outside the window of their room, waiting for his lovers to finish up in the onsen. He had been sitting there for a while now, his mind wandering off.

_"Che! You're so cocky Monkey King." Golden eyes stared up at him challengingly. "You're not man enough to handle me."_

_Atobe smirked as he met his gaze. "Try me brat. You'll never know what you're missing." _

_A soft twinge of blush colored his cheeks. "I'm only twelve. That would make you a child molester." _

_Atobe laughed a little. "It's not like I'll be doing something that will fall into that category." He leaned in and whispered into his ear. "You'll be busy enjoying yourself to even bother reporting me to the authorities." _

"_Mada mada dane."_

Atobe smiled bitterly at the memory. Eleven years...it had been that long since they decided to embark on such a relationship. He was the first one who got to Ryoma. It took a matter of weeks and moths before Tezuka, Fuji and Sanada joined them.

'How I wish I could turn the hands of time back to where everything's in their right places. I would give up everything that I have...' He closed his eyes as the pain in his heart intensified. 'Everything. I will do what it takes just to have him back in my arms.'

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Nanjiroh hadn't moved from his position next to his sleeping son for a while now. With Rinko being the one who converses with the doctors, he just sat there and stared at him.

"I don't know what I'd do to help you right now." Nanjiroh told his son, hoping that deep in Ryoga's sleep he'd be able to hear him. The steady sound of the cardiac monitor it the only thing that Ryoga has to communicate with his parents.

The steady beep coming out of it is the only thing that's assuring him that he's still ok.

Nanjiroh facial features softened as he studied Ryoga's serene face. "Have you noticed how you and Ryoma-kun looked so alike?" He smiled sadly. "If your brother had been alive today, he would look just like him."

An image of Ryoma flashed in his head and he remembered the young man's party. He stood up and made for the door, only to find his wife glaring at him.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked. She just came back from the cafeteria with their food.

Nanjiroh sighed. "Bar. Someone needs to be there tonight."

"No!" Rinko grabbed his arm. "Your son is sick and he needs you here! The bar can wait!"

Nanjiroh yanked his arm from her grip. "And what would you want me to do?! Stay here and watch him in that state?! My god Rinko! How long are you going to put your son, your family into this torture!?" He knew he probably shouldn't say those words but it slipped form his tongue.

"If you want to spend your time, waiting helplessly for Ryoga to wake up then go ahead." He opened the door. "I'm not going to join you in counting the last breaths and minutes he still has in life."

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Despite the scheduled celebration, Ryoma opted to leave it at an open-house status. He felt it is somehow appropriate to let those anonymous individuals share this night with him.

He glanced at the door, hoping that my some miracle, his ex-lovers would show up. He tried calling Sanada earlier but his phone was switched off.

"Ryoma."

He turned around and saw Ohtori staring at him with the glassy-eyed look once again. Ryoma smiled and tapped his cheek.

"Why the long face, Choutarou?" He asked. He knew the reason. Ever since he left the house, the tall man never ceased from crying. "It's my night. Smile for me ok?"

Ohtori gripped the hand that's touching his cheek. "Stop this. Stop making everyone feel like you're saying goodbye."

Ryoma sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry." He sought out Ohtori's hazel eyes once more. "Would you do a small favor for me?"

"Will you lead the band tonight and sing for us...for me?"

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Fuji stared into the vast night sky blanketed by stars. He wandered off from his lovers and explored the onsen. He ended up in the Zen area.

He felt tired. All the energy he had in him earlier left him like someone attached a vacuum to him and sucked it all away.

'I thought I could handle the truth.' He stared off into space. 'But it turned out to be bigger than me that I couldn't keep up with It.' He closed his eyes and Ryoma's face popped into his head.

"I refuse to believe that we're too late, that we lingered off for too long that when we decided to come back, you've started to drift away from us." He rubbed his eyes, hoping that everything's just a nightmare and soon someone will wake him up.

_"Fuji-senpai!!!!" Ryoma ran up to him. "Care for a game?"_

_Fuji turned around and was mesmerized by the flushed cheeks and the parted, swollen lips that looked so inviting. He smiled at the freshman, feeling the thrill rush through his veins. _

_"Ok...but how about a trade-off?" Aside from Tezuka, Ryoma was one of the few individuals who could rile him up. _

"_Trade off?" Ryoma smirked. "Ahh...I see where this is going." He leaned against the wire. "Fine...what do you want?"_

_Fuji stepped forward and leaned down so he could whisper into his ear. "You."_

The cold evening breeze brought him back to reality and he opened his eyes, disappointed that nothing changed. He blinked back the tears that started to well up his eyes once more.

"Is this God's way of punishing us for leaving Ryoma?" He asked aloud. "P-please...if this is it, I'll take the blame...I'll shoulder the suffering."

Lips quivered and hands trembled at the raw emotion that's pouring out of the once-cold tensai's chest.

"Just don't take him away from me."

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Ryoma smiled genuinely at the sight of the customers enjoying the night with Ohtori leading the band instead of him. He chose to stay in the crowd while the silver-haired man ignited the fire in everyone.

A soft tap on his shoulder and he turned around to face Kirihara. Suddenly strong pair of arms grabbed him and pulled him for a tight embrace.

"A-Akaya!" He gasped but the other man just tightened his around him.

Kirihara nuzzled against Ryoma's neck...almost wanting to burry himself into the man's skin so that he will not disappear from his sight ever again.

"Why are you doing this?" Came a whimpered query. "I still love you damnit! It pains me to watch you do this to yourself. This is not you! You're not the Ryuzaki Ryoma whom I fell in love with. He was strong, he was kicking ass and was very much in love with life."

"Why?"

Ryoma relaxed in his embrace. Basking in the warmth the man was offering. "I'm sorry Akaya but this is bound to happen." he encircled his arms around his waist and returned his embrace with the same fervor. "I told you, way back when we're still dating, that you cannot hold on to me forever...no matter how much you want to."

Kirihara whimpered in distress. He kept his face buried in Ryoma's neck, not wanting to let the other man see how upset he is. 'Don't...please don't say it! It hurts like hell...seeing you like this and that I can't do anything to stop this from happening.'

Ryoma reached up and gently caressed his back. He could feel something wet on his neck, realizing that his ex-boyfriend was crying. "I'm sorry."

"I did feel something special for you Akaya but I guess I just could forget about them."

"I'm really sorry but I still love them."

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Sanada tied his yukata absent-mindedly as he left Tezuka in the onsen to have time to think for a while. Ever since Shishido dropped the bomb, he wasn't able to concentrate anymore.

"_Ryoma, we mean to stay that this is the right time to part ways." _

"I shouldn't have allowed those words to be uttered." he scorned his self. He buried his face into his hands and groaned.

"_Think about it. There will be no accusation directed to this relationship once they realize that we are able to be the best." _

_Sanada had to sit down. His knees seemed to have lost its will to bore his weight. "What about Ryoma?"_

"_What about us?"_

He tipped his head against the wall. 'What about him? We had a taste of victory...he had pain. We basked in happiness in the presence of other people, he spent his time in grief.' he slid unto the floor as if someone robbed him of his strength.

"I want to do everything for him and only him. I want to make him feel how much I treasure and love him." he started to tap his head against the wall. "But time is running out. His three years is up."

"Will there be a way for me to extend the hands of time or maybe delay it so I could be with him?"

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After their 8th song for the night, Ohtori found Ryoma walking up the stage, causing massive joyous chaos from the audience. He was overwhelmed that people actually accepted him and enjoyed his singing but it was still Ryoma who was the original lead of the band. It was his voice that the people crave for every week. It was his charisma that made people come back for more.

A gentle tap on his shoulder and he snapped off form his daze. His gaze met with golden ones.

"My turn now, Choutarou." he turned the rest of their band mates. "You can now rest and have some drinks."

Ohtori saw the determination and will in his eyes so he gave up. No's stopping Ryoma, now that he is in this state. Narumi brought a chair up and offered it to his senpai. The rest of the band members stepped off the stage, living Ryoma with his guitar and the spotlight.

Ryoma soon found himself as the center of attention of everyone. The cheers died down as they took a deep breath before they plunge into another raving storm. The once cocky young man was now in awe at the magnitude of the raw emotions in their eyes, making warmth floods his body all too soon.

'I didn't deserve their adoration...' he eyes then lingered to the familiar faces in the crowd. '...their loyalty and companionship...' he caught glance of his senpai-tachi. '...their protection and their friendship...' his eyes settled on Ohtori, Niou and Kirihara who where standing close to each other.

'And most of all...their love and devotion. I don't deserve any of it and yet they gave it to me without pretense or hesitation.' he closed his eyes, swallowing the hard lump in his throat. 'I can't sum up the words that would exactly convey my gratitude towards you guys.'

He opened his eyes and took a deep breath. It was now or never. Tomorrow he might end up dead and he doesn't want to go without even thanking these people who made his life brighter when he knew he had plunged into the dark.

'Yes, as Akaya had said...I'm not the Ryoma whom you all used to know. The Ryoma you knew would never give up the fight. I am, however, is now willing to submit myself to the wiles of fates. Forfeit has never appealed to me before...but with everything that happened, with my brother needing my help...I guess I have no choice but to concede.'

"Thank you for coming tonight." he spoke to the microphone. "I'm very thankful that you gave time from your busy schedule to drop by." he gripped the guitar hard, hoping that his courage won't fail him this time. "I'm really glad that you responded very warmly towards my best friend, Choutarou as the lead singer of the band. He's not half bad right?"

His comment sent a wave of chuckle amongst the crowd.

"Actually, the reason why I called out my friends here, and you guys, is to say goodbye." it took an instant effect on them as a wave of silence washed over the crowd. "I will be gone for q-quite a while so I invited a whole lot of people here to say goodbye and to thank them."

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Rinko had been pacing back and forth before Ryoga's bed. With Nanjiroh gone, she became more restless than usual.

_"He had a myocardial infarction, Echizen-san. There was a blood clot formed on his left coronary artery." the doctor said while holding Ryoga's chart._

_"What are our options?" she asked, unexpectedly calm about this. _

"_Very limited, I say." the man frowned. "A close-heart surgery is out of question. I won't risk his life by moving the clots by an angioscope. He will die if that one turns into an embolus. And since some muscles in that part of his heart is already necrotic, we can't expect much from a cardiac bypass."_

_Rinko bit her lip. "You mean he's only option right now is another transplant?" _

_The doctor nodded. "Over the years, his heart was slowly increasing in size as it tried to compensate with his lifestyle. This increase in size and his dying heart muscles will only complicate his status more."_

_"We don't have any other choice." _

She grabbed her phone but she didn't do anything yet. She just stared at it for a while. 'I don't want to do this. I don't want to rush him but I need him now. I need his help more than anything at this moment.'

Her fingers sought out Ryoma's number. "Ryuzaki-kun...I'm sorry but I need to rush you a bit."

"I don't know how you will do it but my son needs your heart right now."

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"To my former colleagues in tennis, thank you very much. You made my life worthwhile by giving me the opportunity to play with you and against you." Ryoma sought out the familiar faces of those tennis players in the crowd. "You gave me immense happiness."

"We don't want you to go Ryuzaki!" he heard Bunta yelled. He sought out the redhead, who was seated next to Yagyuu and smile at him.

'Me too.' he wanted to reply but he stopped his self. He then turned to his senpai-tachi.

"To my former senpai-tachi who became me family ever since," he could almost hear Eiji wail. "I couldn't put into words the gratitude that I feel for you. You were there when I needed someone to hold on to." a single tear trailed down his cheek. He wiped it hastily. "When I was about to give up, it was your voices who brought me back. It was your insistent grip and pull that kept me grounded."

"Eiji-san, Sadaharu-san, Momo-senpai, Kaoru-san and Taka-san...thank you...thank you so much."

"O'chibi!!!!" Eiji wailed, collapsing unto Inui. " Stop saying thank you!"

Momo wiped away the tears that escaped his eyes. " Damn you brat. You always make us cry. That's not how a kohai is supposed to act!"

"Fhsuu!" Kaidou turned his back to the golden-eyed man. He doesn't want anyone to see how his kohai so easily tore his guard down. 'Don't do this Ryoma!'

Inui pushed his glasses up, thankful for it. As always, it hid his emotions from the public eye. He stopped however when he felt a sudden tug in his heart. 'Ryoma deserved more. He deserved so much more in life.' he pulled off his glasses, and met Ryoma's burning gaze with his own. He raised up his arm, hand formed into a fist.

"To a full life ahead of you O'chibi!"

"BURNING!!!!!!!!!!" every gaped at the sushi chef who apparently brought his own racket. "GREAT-OH!!!!!! A FULL LIFE FOR O'CHIBI INDEED!!!!!!!" he swung the racket dangerously, making most of the people back away.

Ryoma chuckled at his senpai-tachi's antics. He wiped the tears away, but noticing that his chest didn't feel all that tight. 'Is this what they call tears of joy?' he mused as the rest of the club laughed with him. His eyes wandered around and saw the flushed face of Nanjiroh bursting in.

'What a way to dampen my spirits.' he smiled sadly.

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Nanjiroh almost jumped out of his car and into the entrance. Something is telling him that he needs to see Ryoma immediately. He came in and found the golden-eyed man on the stage while his chef-friend was busy swaggering around with a tennis racket.

"What the--?" golden eyes fell upon him and he froze. His gut coiled into a knot. There is something in that gaze that made his heart ache.

"The next person that I want to thank is Echizen-san or rather, Jiroh-san." his mouth fell open as he gaped at him. Everyone's eyes were glued to him now.

"He gave me an opportunity to be a part of this family. The Barnyard is not just a bar to me. It's like a home." Ryoma felt that familiar tightness in his throat once more. "And he also gave Backlash the opportunity to show everyone our talents. He believed in us when all else won't." more tears brimmed in his eyes.

'by being there beside me...by pestering me...I came to have love you dearly, Otousan.' he finally let all those tears go, not caring if he sent messages that were not meant to be received by those who knew nothing about his history.

'I want to be with you longer Otou-san. I want to live and be able to playing tennis against you. But time wouldn't permit that.' Ryoma hastily brushed the tears away. 'My brother has more chance of surviving than I do. If there is one gift that I would give to you, it would be your happiness...in the form of Ryoga.'

Nanjiroh swallowed hard, not realizing that he too has tears flowing down his cheeks. His heart was racing, his mind was on overdrive. The look that Ryoma was giving him meant so much more...the young want wanted to tell him so much more. "R-Ryoma...is you saying goodbye?"

"So to Jiroh-san, thank you so much for being there for us," 'for being with me, being a father to me.' "For sharing to us your vibrant energy that inspired us to be better." 'For telling me the truth about what happened 23 years ago.' "For guiding us and pushing us just a bit further for us to reach our potential."

'For allowing me to experience what it feels like to be your son...even if it's a bit too late.'

"Thank you."

Nanjiroh found his self slowly closing the distance between them. There is a magnetic pull that the young man was emitting. 'Oh Ryoma-kun! Why are you making me feel like this? It's like you're the one who replaced my dead son." he clutched his chest the moment he stood just below the man, eyes still locked in a fevered gaze.

'I've had this feeling before.' he bit his lip. 'I felt like this when I was out looking for my son in the burnt carnage of that hotel. It felt like someone's pulling life out of my body. Why do I feel like this now? Like seeing you like this makes me weak and drained of everything.'

'Why?'

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Shishido paced inside his office, glancing on the phone on his desk every one in a while. He received Ryoma's message...he replied. He's debating now whether he would tell Atobe and the others about tonight.

"It's nothing more than a simple thanksgiving party Ryoh." he told himself. "It's not like he's gonna die tomorrow."

He slumped back on his chair and let out a sigh of frustration. "How come Ryuzaki Ryoma could get this people so worked up by just a simple message?" he glanced at the message again...then groaned.

(Will be having a mini thanksgiving tonight at The Barnyard around 9 pm. If you feel I'm important to you, come. If not...you're still mada mada dane.)

"You're important indeed, brat...and yet you seem pretty damn sure of forfeiting your life."

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Ryoma summoned all his will to break his eyes contact with his father. He forced his eyes to settle on Oishi, Oshitari and Yukimura.

"Next would be my lawyer, Oshitari-san." Ryoma smiled at him. "I know I have made your head ache for so many times. I'm sorry that's I've been a very difficult client." his smile turned melancholic when he saw the reflected on tear streaks on his cheeks. "I thank you though...for helping me in spite of my unfavorable attitude."

Oshitari shook his head and smiled. 'It was nothing Ryuzaki. It was a pleasure to be involved in your vivid, chaotic world.' he felt the grip on his arm grew tight. He looked sideways and his smile disappeared. It was Oishi...who was silently sobbing his heart out.

"Next you be my doctors. First would be Yukimura-san." all eyes fell on the teal-haired doctor. "I know that he secretly abhors me for making his life difficult." Ryoma smirked a little. "Well I would if I had a patient who was stubborn as a rock." a soft chuckle tide spread among the crowd.

"But he didn't give up on me. Even when I had tried pushing him away...he still stood by me." Ryoma's eyes shimmered in more unshed tears. "Even if I deliberately disobeyed him, he never lost his patience."

Yukimura casually wiped his tears away. "You're such a brat Ryoma." he chuckled a bit. 'But you have wormed your way into my heart. I haven't voiced out my livid opinion regarding your utter disregard for your health...I just didn't want you to pull away.'

"I shall be forever thankful for your help. I know that I will be in good hands when Doctor Oshitari left. Thank you...thank you." with one last sad smile for Yukimura, he turned his gaze to Oishi who was clinging to his lover while he sobbed his heart out.

"I think you better compose yourself first, Syuichiroh-san. You might not be able to comprehend what I will be saying."

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Tezuka was the only one left in the hot springs. His three other lovers drifted off earlier...he could only sympathize. After everything that they had been through today...he knew that they needed time to think on their own.

He shivered. The warmth of the water couldn't comfort him from the chill that's eating at his heart. 'My Ryoma is dying.' the thought crossed his mind. He closed his eyes and tried to imaging his life without the cat-eyed man.

"No!" he eyes snapped open. He was trembling. "I won't let it happen. There had been a very great advancement in technology now compared to three years ago. Keigo and I will make sure he gets the best medical assistance."

_The sound of the train passing signaled the end of their game. He just stood there, while Ryoma was one the ground, panting. _

"_Ryuzaki..." he felt his heart skipped a bit with golden eyes, ablaze with determination looked up to him. _

"_Be Seigaku's Pillar of support." _

He was tempted to bang his head on the tiles behind him. 'I had asked him to be someone whom everyone will turn to for support. I never imagine he himself had no one to lean on.'

_"Why do I need to go pro?" Ryoma glared at him indignantly. "Why can't I just stay here and study; be a professional like you guys?" _

_Tezuka returned his gaze calmly. "Because Ryoma...you are meant for the world."_

_Ryoma shook his head. "And because of that we will have to endure months apart? No Mitsu. I think I've had it with tennis." he sighed. "Where's the joy in it without you?"_

Tezuka bit his lip hard until he was able to draw blood. 'Did I really mean it when I said he was meant for the world? Where did I get the authority to decide for him, whether he should continue doing pro or not?'

'Was it my frustration of not being a pro player that pushed me to decide that we should all focus on ourselves first?' a tear rolled down his cheek.

"This is my entire fault...this is my entire fault."

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"As I have said earlier, I don't exactly know how to convey my gratitude towards you guys...especially you, Syuichiroh-san. Especially that it was your voice who brought me back from coma." Ryoma closed his eyes. "It was your voice which constantly rang in my head. As you had said, I was in partial coma after all." gasps were heard amongst the crowd.

"And you never stopped caring for me after that."

Oishi sobbed into Oshitari's chest harder. "Don't! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear you saying goodbye!"

"I wouldn't be sitting here in front of everyone if not because of you." he opened his eyes again, hoping that his senpai would look back at him. "Thank you so much." he forced himself to look away from the distressed doctor. His eyes sought out the faces of his best friend, his lover and his ex-lover.

"To Choutarou, Masaharu and Ayaka..." he took one deep breath. "I know that I have already thanked you before for everything that you have done to me. I know I might sound annoying now if I'm going to repeat those words that I have said. so..."

" thank you...from the bottom of my heart...I am truly grateful for your presence in my life."

"Thank you."

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Atobe felt a soft caress on his cheek. he stirred and gently opened his eyes. he noticed that he was still sitting my the window. he fell asleep.

he felt strong arms carried him. he looked up and saw a pair of sad blue eyes.

" Suzuki?"

Fuji smiled and carried him to the bed. " I know everyone's exhausted. we didn't expect these things." he gently laid the dive down and cuddled next to him. " there's no way we deal with in immediately so the only thing that we could do is hang on to each other."

Atobe wrapped his arms around the brunette and held him tight. " I know...but tomorrow Syusuke...we will face the world again...and Ryoma." they heard the door opened and felt the mattress dipped at two more joined them on the bed.

" Shishido mentioned of a surgery that Ryoma refused earlier." Atobe mumbled against the tensai's forehead while he felt strong arms hugged him from behind. "I will do my best to open that option again for him."

Tezuka tightened his hold of the diva. " You're right Keigo. we will not let go of him...even if he's the one who wants to."

Sanada gently petted Fuji's hair. " it is just very unfortunate of him to be stuck with selfish bastards like us."

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Ryoma cleared his throat. " There are still other individuals whom I would love to be here but I have learned already that one should never ask or expect for too much in life." he adjusted the guitar in his arms. " I just wish they would be here and hear me sing to them...this last song." he felt someone approach him from behind and saw Narumi, still in tears, holding a glass of water in his trembling hands.

" thanks." Ryoma smiled at him after soothing his throat. the man stepped off the stage. Ryoma turned to his audience again, noting that most of them were already in tears. he sighed deeply. " I'm going to sing this song because this is how I really feel right now." his fingers moved deftly as the soft sounds started to drift off into the place.

I'm gonna live my life  
like every days' the last 

he felt the goosebumps up his spine. 'No matter how much I wanted to stay...I know that time will come that I will eventually leave everyone behind. it's time that they started living their lives for themselves...for I have become a burden to them for a long time.' a tear trailed down his cheek.

'but it hurts so much! I don't want to let go but I have to.'

without a simple goodbye it all goes by so fast

He eyed the crowd before him. he tried to memorize each face...hoping that he would be able to...as a sign of gratitude to every individuals who became a part of his life...directly or not.

and now that you're gone I can't cry heard enough  
I can't cry hard enough  
for you to hear me now

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Ohtori held on to Niou tight as Ryoma's voice broke his heart into millions of pieces. that beautiful, haunting voice shall forever be buried in his head. it was soft...it was full of emotions; emotions that the golden-eyed man hardly express.

'you'll forever be in our hearts Ryo. I will make sure that the world will never forget about you!'

gonna open my eyes and see for the first time  
I've let go of you like   
a child letting go of his kite

Niou buried his face into Ohtori's neck, tried his best to quell the force that rocked him to the core. he never experienced showing his vulnerability but seeing this...seeing his friend in such a vulnerable state shattered the defenses he put up.

'I thought I had already accepted the fact that you're dying but I guess I had been deceiving myself ever since.' he bit his lip hard as tears fell down unabashed.

There it goes up in the sky  
there it goes beyond the clouds  
for no reason why  
I can't cry hard enough 

It was Ryoma's last song...for them. after that, no one knew if they will be able to hear his voice ever again.

No, I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me now 

it was hard...to sing while crying at the same time. Ryoma realized it now and yet he continued. he poured everything that he's got and gambled it to his song. he has lost almost everything anyway.

he pictured his ex-lovers in his mind and soon more tears escaped his eyes. his fingers trembled as he continued to play each note. 'yes...no matter how I pray that they would come...they didn't. I guess this is just right. by not seeing them before I die, it would be much easier for me.'

gonna look back in vain and see you standing there  
when all that remains is just an empty chair 

Nanjiroh was riveted at the sight before him. with the spotlight on him, Ryoma looked like he was glowing. the radiance that the boy was exuding plus the ethereal voice that lulled everyone into feeling the same emotion that the boy was feeling was amazing.

'I don't understand what's going on. why are you leaving? you haven't mentioned anything about it.'

'why are you leaving me?'

and now that you're gone  
I can't cry hard enough, I can't cry hard enough  
for you to hear me now 

Yukimura felt his body trembling. he didn't want this. alas! he could only scorn himself for not trying hard enough in convincing Ryoma to take the surgery.

'I don't want him to die.' he bit his fist to suppress the pain in his chest. 'no matter how hard-headed he could be, I don't want him to disappear. I will cure him...I will find a way...just give me more time! please!'

There it goes, up in the sky  
there it goes beyond the clouds  
for no reason why

Ryoma felt his heart raced...as if it's racing against time. he had never felt it beat so hard. 'like a dying bird, it shall pour everything that's left in him to his death song...until it slowly succumbs into the welcoming arms of Hades.'

I can't cry hard enough, no I can't cry hard enough  
for you to hear me now

the song died down into strings of soft notes from his guitar. the room was dead silent. the air was heavy with grief.

Ryoma stood up and bowed before them. 'There...all's been done. there's no turning back now.'

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"Jiroh-san."

Nanjiroh, who hid his self inside his office just before Ryoma could come off the stage, flinched. after what happened tonight, he can't seem to face the young man anymore.

" Jiroh-san." the voice seemed to have gotten closer. he felt that magnetic force once again. he sighed and finally faced Ryoma.

" Is there anything I can help you with?" he managed to make his voice sound normal but his hands were still trembling.

Ryoma smiled at his father sadly. " Remember about the promise I gave you the other day? about the game?"

Nanjiroh eyes narrowed as he skimmed in his head for the memory of that certain promise.

_"You better give me a good game someday, Ryoma-kun." Nanjiroh said after recovering from his outburst. "I've been hearing stories about your prowess in tennis." _

_Ryoma chugged down his beer before smiling at the man. "Soon my old man." _

"oh! that game?"

Ryoma nodded. "I would like to have that game tomorrow, Jiroh-san...a little memory of us before I leave."

Nanjiroh found himself staring at the sad figure before him. his body seemed to have a mind of its own as he nodded.

" S-sure Ryoma-kun...anytime you want."

Ryoma's face seemed to brighten up at the news. " Really? thank you Jiroh-san."

he suddenly forgot that he's to limit contact already when he stepped forward and embraced the man tightly.

" R-Ryoma-kun?"

Ryoma inhaled the scent of his father...wanting it to register in his mind. "thank you Jiroh-san..."

'thank you so much Otou-san...'

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A/N: BAD RIA-CHAN!!!!!!! BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn! (wipes off tears) of well... expect more of this in the next chapters...

Oh yeah...I don't own the song: Can't Cry Hard Enough

P/S: again I apologize for the bad editing…it's just that I'm in a fix right now. It's my midterms this Friday…I have a new nursing care process to make with 4 care plans…a thesis/research group to lead, pathophysiologies to make and drugs to study…

I apologize if next week's update won't be up.

IF YOU WANT MORE...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	14. To my beloved reviewers

APOLOGIES FROM THE AUTHORESS!!!

I know i said the next week's update won't be up but...

Fired up by the reviews that everyone gave me...I forced myself to write next week's update...even though I know it'll take it's toll on me sooner or later. But honestly...the moment that I started on the chapter...I couldn't stop. it felt as if I'm racing against time as well...just like Ryoma...

Next chapter you'll know why Ryoma hated his family...sans Nanjiroh. He loves the man, obviously. and I can see that most of you might hate me for it but it has to happen. Watch out for it next chapter. this story only have three to four chapters left. thank you for your unwaivering support!

I'm planning on another angsty OT5 after this but it's still tentative. I'm still trying to recover Forgetten Heroes. I'm also rocking my brains out for the sequel to THE MUSIC THAT YOU MAKE. it's hard to achieve a balance between your resposibilities and your passions in life.

Oh well...

PLEASE WATCH OUT FOR MY UPDATE LATER THIS WEEK OR EARLY NEXT WEEK!!!! JA!!!!!


	15. one last stand

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

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Ryoma wasn't able to get a shut eye. His head was filled by the images of his friends, the tears that they had long suppressed.

He sighed and sat up. "This is not working." With this, he left his bed and went to his wardrobe. He pushed passed the clothes and dug into its confines until he was able to grasp something. '

'Yes, it is just proper for a soldier to die in battle, rather that in the death bed.' He studied the dusty bag. 'So I will go, with my sword in my hands. Echizen Ryoma will never be Echizen Ryoma without his tennis racket.'

He carried his tennis bag into bed. He carefully unzipped it, wanting to relish the moment he reunites with tennis racket after three years of separation.

_"You can't play tennis anymore, Ryuzaki-kun."_

Ryoma reached in and grasped the handle. It felt so good, holding that familiar object once more. By that contact alone left him breathless from the sudden gush of memories. All the victories, the hardships...it all came back to him.

_"With you opting out of the surgery, it is necessary that you limit your physical activities; meaning no more sports, rough play or even sex."_

"_What?!"_

_"It's the price that you have to pay for rejecting the operation."_

He took the racket out and held it before him, letting the moonlight illuminate it. He smiled in nostalgia.

"Yes...it is only fitting that the Prince will go down fighting. It might not be the real fight I'm supposed to face but at least I won't be enslaved by helplessness."

His eyes caught sight of his phone. He left it on his bedside upon reading his mother's message.

"You just wait Oniisan." Golden orbs blinked back the tears. "Don't die before me."

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Tezuka roused his lovers early that morning. He wanted to seek Ryoma out a soon as possible to discuss about the operation. They are to return to Tokyo immediately.

A knock interfered with their preparation and in came Shishido.

"I see you're up and ready." He had a small smile on his lips.

Atobe nodded. "We need to get back and take Ryoma to a specialist."

Shishido sighed. "You guys will never let it down? You were his lovers once. You know him more than anyone. Do you really think you'd be able to change his mind?"

"Yes." Fuji replied. His clenched his fist, not wanting to admit that the man was right. "It may seem an impossible task but I know that deep inside your heart, you want us to do something. Everyone might hate us for leaving him in the past us cannot deny the fact that on we have the power over him."

Shishido was speechless. Fuji was right. For years they had been praying that one of them would suddenly show up and save Ryoma from the hell that he's trapped in.

Atobe stepped forward until he was only an arm's length from him. The diva placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't know how grateful I am that you did this for us. I know it's hard be the one who will break everybody's trust but I'm grateful that you did. Allow us to help him."

"I know everyone still wants to spend more days, years, and decades with him. We do too. We'll have to help each other."

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Ryoma crept into Ohtori's room after he stashed his tennis bag by the door. He doesn't want the brunette to know that he's planning to play tennis.

'He'll go ballistic.'

Ryoma bit his lip as he approached the lump on the bed cautiously. He doesn't want to walk in a Chouta-Haru comfort sex. He shivered at the memory that flashed into his head. That was the reason why he's ever careful in venturing into Ohtori's side of the house.

He let out a contented sigh when he saw Ohtori's lone figure on the bed, still sleeping. His eyes curiously wandered on the wet trails on his cheeks. He frowned. 'He's been crying all night.' He sat down on the bed and gently shook his best friend awake.

"Choutarou..."

Tired, disoriented hazel orbs peeked out of puffy eyelids. Everything seemed to be a blur for him and his eyes stung.

"Choutarou."

He fought hard to open his eyes fully once he recognized the voice. "R-Ryoma?" He mumbled. He rubbed his sore eyes and tried to sit up. Once he recovered from the drowsiness, Ryoma's full image came to his senses.

"You're going out?" He asked.

Ryoma watched his friend intently for a while before nodding. "I'm taking a walk. I'm just wondering when will you start training or will you do an in-house training with Shindou-sensei?"

It took Ohtori a few seconds more to completely comprehend what he was saying. 'Yeah...I promised to join Marradona for him.' His face sobered up. He threw the covers aside. "I'll be staying in for today for my fast-track self-training. I have contacted Shindou-sensei yesterday and he said I could start the in-house tomorrow." He swung his leg to sit on the edge of the bed.

Ryoma smiled a little as the sight of his panicking friend. He reached out and pulled him into a hug. "It's ok...you don't need to rush. You're the best candidate in this year's roster so you don't need to freak out and such. You have time."

Ohtori relaxed in his embrace. "But it's you who do not have the time." That came out rather bitter. "And I want to be with you until the very end. I don't want any second wasted."

Ryoma felt a flood of emotion over-coming him once more. He just tightened his arms around the brunette.

"Thank you...thank you for putting up with me for these past years."

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Nanjiroh eyed the wooden racket that was leaning against the wall near the door. He kept on wondering what possessed him to accept Ryoma's game. His son was currently on his death bed, his wife probably vowed in ignoring him for life and yet all he can think about was the upcoming game.

_"Thank you Jiroh-san..."_

Nanjiroh shook his head. 'There it goes again. Why does my heart beat so hard every time I think about that man? Why do I feel strongly for him?'

The grandfather clock stroke 8 am. Sighing, he stood op and took the racket. "Snap out of it Nanjiroh. Ryoma-kun is leaving and you need to give him a memorable time."

"It's the least that you can do for him."

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After having a very light breakfast with Ohtori, Ryoma left the house, discretely grabbing his tennis bag from the porch.

He had gone a couple of block away from their apartment when he suddenly noticed his feet slowly down.

"Ahh...I guess I shouldn't hurry that much." Ryoma smiled bitterly. "It's my last day after all. It is only fitting that I relish every single step that I take towards my death."

His eyes wandered around, taking in every detail of the place that became very familiar to him for the passed three years.

Soon he was overwhelmed by the flood of memories that came rushing to him. everything...from his childhood...to the point wherein he got together with his ex-lovers...their break-up...his grandmother's death...the accident...Kirihara...and now. He soon felt the tears were falling unabashed down his pale cheeks. He eyes fell upon the tagged bracelet in his left arm. He received his ID tag from the institution he registered in.

He looked up and through the hazy tears he imagined Ryuzaki-sensei's face up in the clouds. "Oba-chan...I'm coming home. Please wait for me outside the gates of whatever place you may be in..." He bit his quivering lip to suppress the sob that wanted to escape his throat.

"W-welcome me with open arms...p-please heal me from the pains that I had given myself."

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Strings of melody greeted them the moment they hopped off the limo. They stood before Ryoma's apartment in a daze...still not sure on what approach they would use.

_"So how do we get to Ryoma' apartment?" Atobe asked the moment that they all got inside the limo. The plane ride was uneventful as they tried to prepare their selves for the battle that they will be soon be embarking on. _

_No one spoke. _

_Tezuka sighed and took out his phone. "I'll just call Shishi--"_

_"Wait." Sanada cut him off. "I know."_

_"You what?!?!?!" _

_Sanada returned their death glares calmly. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about this but I promised him that I will keep the secret." _

"_Gen!" Fuji cried in frustration. "You shouldn't be hiding things like this form us!" _

"_Yes Gen...We have the right to know." Tezuka added, sounding a bit disappointed. _

_Sanada shook his head. "I know and I said I'm sorry. But I cannot break the promise I gave to him...even though I know I should've so that we could've prevented the things that happened."_

_Atobe recovered from his livid anger. "What do you mean?" _

_Sanada buried his face into his hands. "Remember the day of the shoot?"_

Tezuka took a deep breath before pushing the gate open. 'Had Gen told us about that attack, we could've helped him earlier.'

They stepped into the entrance and rang the bell.

"You think he's already home?" Fuji asked aloud.

"Yes." Atobe replied. "I called the hospital earlier. They said that Ryoma was discharged the day we arrived at Akita."

The knob turned and the door opened to reveal a disgruntled-looking Ohtori.

"What do you want?" Came a spiteful query.

"Just a bit of your time, Ohtori-kun."

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Ryoma arrived at the park five minutes before the set time. He doesn't want to make his father wait. But when he appeared in the public courts, he saw the older man already sitting on the bench, face fixed into an eternal frown.

He took a deep breath as he took a step into the courts.

"Ohayou, Jiroh-san."

The older man looked up and saw Ryoma standing not far from him, wearing his old Seigaku jacket. For that moment in time, he looked like a person's who's in the prime of his life. Ryoma and tennis seemed to exude a powerful aura.

"Ohayou Ryoma-kun." He stood up and took his racket.

Ryoma felt his heart raced as he approached his father, slowly, as if he's savoring the moment...the moment wherein the two parties meet before the gory fight. 'This is it.'

"I'm sorry to have taken you away from your family Jiroh-san."

Nanjiroh shook his head. "It's ok. I can't stand watching Ryoga in that state anyway."

Ryoma's frown deepened. "How is he doing?" He tried his best not to blink...almost afraid that if he did, his weakness would be out in the open.

"The doctors said he needs a new heart." Nanjiroh bit his lip. 'And I don't know how in heaven's name Rinko's getting one.'

Ryoma felt like someone squeezed his heart so tight that it would burst. He forced his self to look up and meet his father's eyes.

"I hope everything will turn out good for your family, Jiroh-san." He took the racket from his bag.

"But for now, will you give me your all...for this game?"

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Ohtori grudgingly allowed them in. he had no choice but to concede. Despite how his stomach churned in anger...

He went back to face Ryoma's piano, completely ignoring them as they tip-toed into the house.

"Is Ryoma in?" Sanada asked him.

"I don't know. Check the house, maybe he's taken a refuge inside one of the wardrobes." The young man's acrid words almost burned them.

"Now look--" Atobe started but Tezuka grabbed him.

"No Keigo." He stared down the diva until the latter conceded. "What's wrong Ohtori-kun? Did something happen?"

Ohtori stared at the piano keys intently, determined not to look at them. "Something happened alright." He ground his teeth. He let out an indignant huff before he turned towards them.

"SOMETHING HAPPENED ALRIGHT! RYOMA'S BEEN SAYING GOODBYE TO EVERYONE LIKE HE'S IN A DEATH BED WHILE YOU'RE AWAY TO SOME HELLHOLE!!"

The four of them stared at him after the outburst. Ohtori was taking deep breaths to calm his self down.

"Saying goodbye? Why? Is he going somewhere?" Atobe asked dumbly.

Ohtori wanted to rip his hair off and shove it inside the diva's mouth. 'God! How on earth did Ryoma managed to stay with this guys for six years?!' His body trembled in his anger. "Are you this dumb or what?" His rage came out as a controlled whisper.

"Now there's no need for that Ohtori." Fuji's eyes flew open. "We just came here to talk about Ryoma. We don't know what you talk--"

"Ryoma's dying damn it!" Ohtori stood up abruptly, making the piano chair topple over. "And he handed his last will and testament to me yesterday and gathered everyone he knew for a sort of a living funeral! Where were you yesterday?! He has been trying to contact you guys!"

Tezuka felt as if someone punched him in the chest. "We went to meet with Shishido yesterday since none of you wanted to tell us the truth."

Ohtori froze. "You went to see Ryoh?"

Sanada stepped forward. "Yes Ohtori-kun. And he was kind enough to narrate to us everything that happened."

Ohtori felt his knees go week. 'Ryoh...oh god!' He had to sit but he couldn't. He leaned against the grand piano, trying to regain his composure. 'So they already know the truth.'

"We know what happened to Ryoma three years ago Ohtori-kun. We know that he's sick and he's dying. We already know about the surgery that he rejected that's why we're here and we are going to convince him to take that option." Atobe told him.

Ohtori shook his head vigorously. "No...You don't understand."

"What's there to understand more, Ohtori-kun? Your friend...our lover is dying and we need to do everything we can to keep him alive." Fuji said firmly.

Ohtori spun around, this time the anger in his eyes was replaced by sadness.

"I said, you don't understand." He rubbed his hands on his face, as if trying to wake his self. "You don't know anything."

"No matter how hard you try...he won't accept it. There's a far greater reason why your lover wants to end his life and it's not about frustration in tennis or a vendetta against you...if that is what Ryoh told you."

"You know nothing about which the real Ryuzaki Ryoma is...or rather Echizen Ryoma is."

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"I get to serve first." Ryoma announced when the racket dropped on the ground, signifying "smooth".

"Ok then." Nanjiroh replied.

Ryoma walked towards the service area...his heart still pounding in anticipation. He's playing tennis again...and his playing against his father.

'I'm not holding back Otou-san...I'm going to give my everything into this game...this is the last fight that I'm allowing myself to have.'

He gripped the ball in his hand tightly. "Here I go."

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"E-Echizen Ryoma?!"

Ohtori picked up the chair and collapsed on it. "Since you already know that Ryoma is dying, I don't think there's a point left in keeping the whole truth from you. Heck! I ratted it out already." He glanced at the men before him again. "You better sit...you might not be able to handle it."

It only took seconds for them to find chairs and cluster around the pianist.

"Ohtori-kun...why did you address Ryoma as Echizen?" Fuji's hands trembled in anxiety.

Ohtori sighed and tinkered with the ivory keys. "Ryoma never told you but he's adopted. Ryuzaki-sensei found him inside a burning hotel twenty three years ago. Without any announcement of a lost baby boy who's only a few weeks old, she took him in and raised him as her own."

"Oh god." Atobe gasp. Now everything...everything about Ryoma seemed too vague to him now. It's like the man he loves was a stranger.

"But he's still the same person whom you fell in love with and who loved you...or rather loves you with his everything. At first, he thought who his real family was didn't matter since it was Ryuzaki-sensei who raised him and whom he considered his family."

Tezuka shook his head in disbelief. "I don't get it...why didn't he--"

"Idiot!" Ohtori snarled at him. "Of course he didn't want to bother you with his issues when you, yourselves are having a hard time with your families. That's how much he cared for you. He thinks too little of himself...but too much for you."

Sanada gently pinched himself to awaken him. "It doesn't matter to me if he's adopted or not. I fell in love with Ryoma...and I don't if he's a Ryuzaki or something else."

"But this is insane!" Fuji suddenly cried. "If you're telling us that Ryoma's real family is the Echizen's...it means that I-I..."

"Yes Fuji-san...you actually dated his only brother."

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"Forty-love!"

"Maa...you're good, Ryoma-kun." Nanjiroh smirked. Sure he hasn't had a point against the younger man since he surprised him with a series of twist serves. "I haven't seen those serves in like 20 years!" he positioned his self to return another serve. '

"But I'm definitely going to get it in this time, boy. Watch me."

Ryoma smirked at his father. the thrill of playing tennis, which he thought disappeared, immediately came rushing back to him, leaving a tingling feeling at the tips of his fingers...at every pore in his body. It felt...

'Amazing.'

"Yeah right Jiroh-san!" Ryoma called back, getting ready for another serve. "Here's another one!!"

He hit another twist serve...but by the time his gaze shifted across the court, his father was no where in sight. He heard the wire fence rattled so he turned around only to see the ball rolling on the ground.

"Forty-fifteen!"

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"N-no." Fuji gasped, his blood turned cold at the blatant statement.

"I don't know exactly everything and I doubt Ryoma does too since Ryuzaki-sensei died the day after she told Ryoma that the Echizens were indeed his true family. But that's not it...that doesn't explain why Ryoma came to hate them."

Now Tezuka is confused. "Hate them? Are you sure? From the way I see it, Ryoma' pretty close to Echizen Nanjiroh."

"But he hates Ryoga." Sanada said. They turned to him. "It was during the photo shoot...just before Ryoma had an episode. He and Ryoga squared off in a verbal joust...I can almost feel the anger seeping out of his pores.

"It was because Ryoga, during an interview in the past, bluntly denied to the press that he has a brother. He said that he's an only son." Ohtori told them.

"I remember that interview!" Fuji added. "It was after his second cover shoot for a famous magazine in Australia."

"Yes...Ryoma saw that. Judging by their age gap...Ryoma knew that his brother was older than him and if he was indeed born an Echizen...he would definitely know...and the world will know since Echizen Nanjiroh was at the height of his career."

"That git!!" Atobe spat. "Now I know why my blood boils every time I see him!"

"It wasn't only him. Echizen Rinko also said in a press release for Ryoga that he's the only son...no one else." Ohtori gently pressed a key. "Ryoma didn't want them to acknowledge him as a son...hell! He didn't even want to let them know he's alive...but to deny his existence to the public made him angry. The truth for them was he died during the fire...but they're making it appear as if he was never born...that he never existed in their lives."

"But that doesn't really mean that they're denying Ryoma's existence...maybe--" Tezuka started.

"I've been telling him that for years...but at that point in his life, he's really mad. It's your doing that made him shun reason for keeping faith on everyone."

"Our fault?" Atobe asked.

"You left him...you broke your promise. He trusted you with his life and yet you betrayed him. You think he'd trust anyone so easily after that? Even if they're his own family, his mind and heart were still hurting. By seeing how his family regards him...he vowed to give them a taste of what it is to lose something that they should've had."

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"Game won by Ryuzaki! One game all!"

Ryoma was panting hard. It has only been two games but he's dead tired. His body was not accustomed into playing again.

"Are you ok Ryoma-kun?" Nanjiroh asked worriedly.

Ryoma waved his concerned off. "I'm fine Jiroh-san. I'm just not used to playing this intense anymore. I'll be fine in a minute."

Concern flashed in his eyes as he studied the young man before him. 'Just like Ryoga...he might look strong but he has a weakness he's been trying to hide.'

"If you say so...I'll take my serve now."

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"Ok...I lost tract of you in there." Atobe pinched the bridge of his nose. A migraine is coming up. "In short Ryoma--"

"Wants to take revenge on his family. The accident only precipitated a concrete plan for him to utilize."

"The accident? You mean the one where he got shot in the head?" Sanada asked in disbelief.

"Ryoma didn't plan that. I said it just precipitated a plan." Ohtori rubbed his still-puffy eyes. "Knowing that he only has three years to live, and that Ryoga has a heart problem, he initiated his plan by befriending his father, Nanjiroh-san. He wanted to get close to them...especially to his mother so that the pain will triple when he--" He couldn't say it. His heart felt strained and stretched out.

"When he what?" Fuji suddenly grabbed his arm and held it in a death grip. "Please Ohtori-kun, out with it."

Ohtori winced at the tight grip but he could totally understand the tensai.

"When he dies after he donated his heart to Ryoga."

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It hurts...it felt like his head was being trampled over by a dozen buffalos. Ryoma struggled to fight off the pain in his head.

'No...Not now!' He panicked. 'Not when I'm feeling more alive than I had been in three years!'

Nanjiroh was using his "zone" already and Ryoma was trying to counter it with his own, using the same technique which he copied from Tezuka in the past. He returned the shot with equal power that of his father when he felt his vision blurred.

"N-no!" He whimpered as he managed to keep himself from falling to the ground, his momentary distraction enabled Nanjiroh to get another point.

"Forty-love!"

Ryoma squinted his eyes but everything seemed to be spinning around him. His heart was pounding really face, his chest heaving to take in rapid, deep breaths, his vision seemed to dim a little as the pain in his head tripled.

"Ryoma-kun?"

That voice seemed too distant to him as of the moment. It took seconds for his ears to completely stop receiving sound waves. There was a definite "silent roar" in his ear. It seemed the world's rotating speed increased by a hundred as the colors mixed together in a rapid, spiral blur before his eyes.

"Are you ok out there, Ryoma-kun?"

'Is this it? Is this the finale of my fight?'

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Nanjiroh didn't notice that the racket in his hand slowly eased out of his grip and fell on the ground. He just stood there as he watched Ryoma staggered to stand up, seemingly deaf to everything around him.

His heart suddenly started beating fast and hard that left him breathless. He watched as the boy's eyes seemed to have lost its glow.

"Ryoma-kun!" He jumped over the net just in time to catch the young man in his arms. "Ryoma-kun!!!!!!"

The boy's eyes were slowly closing, just as his death grip on Nanjiroh's arm loosened.

"N-no..." Nanjiroh asked as Ryoma fell into unconsciousness. "No!!!!"

"RYOMA-KUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Nobody spoke for a few minutes after Ohtori spoke. It seemed that they are trying to comprehend and denying the facts that had been laid out before them at the same time.

A strong gush of wind forced the window open and blew Ohtori's music sheets away. It was then that the brunette suddenly felt fear gripped his heart. His eyes darted towards Ryoma's four lovers and he noticed that they too, suddenly felt something wrong.

"What is this feeling?" Atobe whispered, a hand clutching at his chest.

A crash shattered their daze. Ohtori stood up to see what broke but he froze when he was what it was.

"Are you ok, Ohtori-kun?" Tezuka asked. The younger man ignored him as he slowly walked towards the crash site.

"Oh no..." Ohtori gasped as his recognized the picture amongst the glass carnage.

"What is it?" Fuji stood up as well and followed him.

"R-Ryoma...n-no." The wind blew past them, strong enough to blow the picture off the shattered glass. Tezuka was fast enough to snatch it from mid-air, only to grip it so tight that he almost crumpled the edges.

"Ryoma."

Hazel orbs blinked back the tears as fear overrode his sense. In his hand was a picture of Ryoma after his graduation...the one that Fuji insisted to be solo.

A heavy aura filled the room as each one of them tried to grasp the right words to say...that heady tension was almost suffocating them.

The steady ring of the phone brought them back to reality as Ohtori grabbed the phone.

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Nanjiroh was pushed out of the trauma unit by Oishi. The young doctor was the one assigned to the emergency room when Nanjiroh drove Ryoma's still unconscious body in out of panic.

'Oh god...what's happening?!' He felt the tears finally escaping from his eyes as he watched the pantomime before him. Ryoma was still unconscious, Oishi was checking for his heart rate and nurses were moving in a frantic hurry to attach a circular nodes to his head and heart which were attached to machines when another doctor barged inside...causing a series of shouting.

Nanjiroh forced his feet to move as he inched towards the small room...he wondered why everyone stopped moving when it is an emergency case. Oishi and that other doctor were still arguing.

"That is insane!" Oishi cried, his upper half draped over Ryoma's body, as if trying to protect him.

"You cannot decide on your own regarding this Doctor Oishi! It's against hospital policy!"

Nanjiroh felt annoyed and scared at the same time. 'Why are they not moving?! Ryoma-kun is in danger!!!!' He pushed passed the nurses.

"Excuse me but if you don't do anything to save this young man, I'll personally sue you all!" Nanjiroh glared at them. He noticed Oishi who never moved from his position. The young doctor's shoulders were shaking. "HELLO?!"

The other doctor finally glanced at Nanjiroh. "Are you the patient's family?"

Nanjiroh was taken aback by the question. "No...But I know him."

The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry but we cannot do anything to help your friend."

Anger washed over him. "WHY NOT?! You're a doctor, aren't you?! How can you say that when he's still breathing and his heart is still beating?!?!" He wanted to punch the doctor, alright.

The doctor let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed Ryoma's left hand, showing his the tag and the bracelet. "The patient is on a DO-NOT-RESUCITATE status. We cannot overlook this. And if you look into that monitor, " He pointed at the EEG. "His brainwaves are almost none responsive. Yes, he may still be breathing and his heart might still be beating but his brain is not responding anymore."

"Clinically it is termed as brain dead. The hospital policy states that the patient has 6 hours, if no improvement on his brain function is noted...we're going to call it."

Oishi's undignified wail punctuated his statement. It was only the doctor's sobs that echoed inside the trauma unit.

"Ryoma no!!! Please wake up!!!" Oishi cried. "Please!!!!!!!!!!"

Nanjiroh felt numb. It was as if all the blood in his brain was drained off. So just stood them...frozen in place as his eyes was plastered in the almost flat EEG line.

'No...This is just a dream!' He felt his hands then his whole body trembled. 'Why do I feel like I just lost someone so important to me?'

"W-why?"

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A/N: wahooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah…so much for that chapter. Anyway…thank you so much guys for supporting me! I got through my major exam which was surprisingly easy (we got the easy set of test papers). I still have 2 exams tomorrow…and three quizzes. Hope I'd be able to survive and live longer to write the next chapter.

We're almost at the end…so hang on ne?

P/S: Please don't question me about the DNR and the brain death concept. I was just working with my stock knowledge…so I wrote what I remembered from my Bioethics Class.

IF YOU WANT MORE,

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	16. harsh awakening

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

A/N: yeah...about Yukimura... It's not that he's single. He's taken although his "lover" will only show up in this chapter onwards. It's not a cameo...I hope.

I wish this fic would break TMTYM's record reviews...I hope smiles hopefully to her readers

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Ryoma squinted his eyes but everything before him is black...darkness that does not have a beginning or an end. He spun around, hoping that if he did, someone would appear but alas...he saw no one...heard no one.

"Hello?" He called out into the deafening silence. "HELLO?!?!?!"

Fear started to embrace his heart. The darkness was familiar but somehow this one is different. He had been in this place before...it was three years ago when he was on his way to a gathering at his Taka-sepian's sushi shop. In a blink of an eye...everything disappeared...even the pain.

"Is anybody out there?!" He called out again. No one answered. "Funny...I could here Syuichiroh-san's voice before."

Ryoma felt his heart raced. He sat down and hugged his knees. "Is this how I'm supposed to die? Funny...I don't feel like it at all." He looked up again, hoping against hope that the darkness will fade away and they he would see his friends' faces.

"P-please? Anybody?"

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Nanjiroh couldn't believe everything that was happening. It was an abrupt change of reality that he wasn't able to grasp it immediately.

"As hospital policy, those admitted to this hospital with DNR status in the state of clinical brain death will be given six hours." The doctor continued talking. "This means, if there are no improvements within six hours, we will be perform the "Harvest"."

Upon hearing the word, Oishi's head snapped up. "Harvest? n-no!"

Nanjiroh became more curious and frustrated by the minute. "Harvest? Why the hell are you talking about harvesting? Ryoma-kun's not a farm you know!!"

The doctor sighed. Had the situation started on a light note, everyone must've been laughing their asses off...but it didn't. "According to the ID tag on the patient's wrist, he's not only on a DNR status. He is a registered organ donor and upon official declaration of brain death, we are to perform an organ harvest so that other people will be given a chance to live longer."

Nanjiroh's eyes almost bulged out of its sockets. "You're going to cut him up?! Are you insane!?!?! I'm going to sue you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sue this damn hospital!!!"

"No one gets to cut up Ryoma-kun!!!!"

"You can't do that without his legal representative's approval!" Oishi added in protest.

'No one gets to cut up my son!!' He finally realized that in his heart and in his mind, he considered Ryoma one of his own, someone who replaced his dead son in his life.

'Please...I already lost one and the other is hanging on the brink as well. Don't take him away from me. Even though he's not mine...don't take him away from me.'

"I'm sorry sir but we have to transfer the body now to another room." The doctor told him. He signaled the other health personnel's to move.

Nanjiroh, unable to do anything, just grabbed Oishi. "Please tell me that you're not allowing this to happen! Please!!" He shook the young doctor harshly.

"I'm sorry...I-I'm sorry."

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Ohtori sprang into life the moment the call ended. He started running to and fro, searching for file folders and such. There were tears silently flowing down his cheeks as he continued his frantic search.

"Please Ohtori-kun! Tell us what happened!" Fuji pleaded as he tailed behind the man.

Tezuka watched helplessly as papers were thrown askew, drawers haphazardly pulled.

"Get your car." Ohtori snapped at the tensai while skimming through the file cabinet.

"Pardon me?" Fuji blinked back in surprise.

Ohtori let out an exasperated sigh. He spun around and glared at him. "I said get the fucking car if you still want to see Ryoma alive!!"

He went back to looking for his documents regarding Ryoma's legal representative while the other four scrambled to do his bidding.

'Please Ryoma...don't let go yet.' Ohtori bit his lip as he gathers the folders. 'Wait for me...for us.'

"We'll save you!"

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Ryoga found himself staring at a familiar memory. His mom, looking 23 years younger was packing his bag. His father, sitting on the corner of the bed was cooing at his new baby brother. His younger self, only seven years old, tip-toed to gaze at the sleeping baby in his father's arms.

"_You see this Ryoga? This is your baby brother."_

_"Does he have a name?"_

_"Mom and I are still thinking about the perfect name for him." a hand ruffled his hair. "You take good care of him ok? He's still young and weak so he needs his big brother to protect him." _

_Ryoga looked up to meet his father's eyes. He smiled toothily at him. "Ryoga will be his hero!!!"_

Ryoga frowned at the memory. He looked around...all he saw was black.

_"You might be mistaken Ryoga. It is you who has taken almost everything from me and you will be taking more in the future and now tell me who between the two of us IS FUCKING SELFISH?!" _

He spun around and saw Ryoma standing directly in front of him, wearing the same scorning gaze. He felt his heart twinge in pain.

"I'm sorry."

"_You know nothing about me so you do not have even the tiniest right to call me selfish and self-centered." _

Ryoga bit his lip. "I know...I don't know why but I feel like an idiot for saying those things to you."

_"Get out!" _

"_Get out of my sight!" _

Soon the image of the younger man started to grow distant from him. "W-wait! Please! I'm sorry!!!!!" He started running after it but the more that he did...the faster Ryoma drifted away from him until he disappeared in the darkness.

"Please! Forgive me!"

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Rinko just intended to get coffee. Since her useless husband was nowhere in sight, she has no one to help her.

"Oi Yukimura!"

She hid beside the coffee vendor just as a teal-haired doctor paused to talk to a colleague.

"What is it?" Yukimura asked. He's a less amicable today since he spent the entire night in his lover's arms, Yanagi, crying his heart out. The cardiologist was at a loss, seeing his usually calm and collected lover, broke down in his arms.

"I almost ransacked the whole hospital looking for you." The other doctor panted.

Yukimura shifted his weight impatiently. "Look, I have to do my rounds--"

"I know! But Oishi wanted me to get you. He was crying hysterically."

Yukimura's eyes narrowed. "What now?" Oishi can be such a drama queen sometimes.

'Certainly it's not about--'

"He rambled about a patient of yours, DNR and organ harvest in six hours. He told me to inform you as fast as possible."

Yukimura struggled to keep up with him. "DNR? Organ harvest? We don't do that unless the patient is..."

"On both medical standing." His colleague finished for him. "I heard that the patient's name was Ryu--"

He wasn't able to finish since he's already eating Yukimura's dust. The handsome neurosurgeon ran for his life, still in denial of what he implied he heard.

"Oh please don't let it be Ryoma! Please!!"

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Rinko was shocked. Her hands shook so hard that she nearly dropped the can of coffee she was holding. She heard pounded against her chest that she choked out in pain. Tears welled up in her eyes.

She inched out of her hiding place, her mind was thrown askew by the information she just received.

" I-If they were indeed talking about R-Ryoma-kun..." Her lips quivered. " T-then my s-son will finally g-get his heart." She blinked back the tears, confused as to why she has them. Her eyes darted towards the direction where Yukimura sped off.

"Then why do I feel like my heart is going to burst in pain?"

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"Master Keigo." Came the voice of the limo driver through the intercom.

"What is it? Didn't I tell you to take the fastest and shortest way possible to Moritaka Gen?" Atobe snapped in annoyance. All five of them were inside, the four were anxious to death about what happening while the other was just silently crying.

"I'm sorry Master Keigo but we have to take an alternate route. There was a road accident in the 6th avenue--"

"FINE!" Atobe screamed. "Just get us there as fast as you can."

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Nanjiroh never left Ryoma's side. He just sat there, watching the young man breath slowly but steadily.

'What a beautiful young man.' A pained smile spread across his lips. 'Had my son survived that fire...he would look just like you.' He reached out and gently caressed his cheek. 'I don't know how you will do it...but please come back. Come back to me. I'll tell Rinko that we're going to adopt you...because I have this unexplainable attachment to you.'

"So please...come back to me." His whispered words hung in the air. His eyes darted to look at the clock...30 minutes had passed. He glanced back at the young man's unchanging status.

"And hurry."

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Yukimura was finally able to locate Oishi. The enterologist was slumped on a bench outside one if the Isolation ICU, looking like death was able to claim him.

"Oishi."

The man looked up. "He's done for Yukimura...I don't know what to do." His voice was hoarse from all the crying he did. His eyes puffy and strained. It seemed like he exhausted his tear glands.

Yukimura sighed and sat next to him. His eyes gazed at the opened door before them. "Is he in there?" The other man nodded mutely. Yukimura rubbed his hands on his face. 'This is such a nightmare.' He grabbed Oishi's hand and held it tight.

"We'll find a way. We are not going to let him die like this."

Oishi squeezed his hand back. "But what about the harvest? Ryoma's a donor...and in six hours..." He bit his lip...he couldn't quite bring his self to say the words.

"The harvest will not happen without Ohtori's signature." Yukimura told him.

"But in six hours..." Oishi shuddered.

" Then we'll relocate him to another hospital...buy him another six hours...and another six hours...I know I'm being a sadist but I-I just can't let go of him." Yukimura brushed off the tears that escaped his eyes. "I know that Ren will definitely work out a way so that we can transfer him to Tokyo Gen."

"I know he will hate us for it but we just have to try...one more push for life. Hell! I think I can even get Atobe to set up a complete ICU in his mansion if we have no more hospital to relocate him to."

Oishi studied the man before him. Yukimura's changed. He used to be too carefree...it seemed like the younger Yukimura...the tennis player who wouldn't give up the fight to the last point was back.

"Can you ask Oshitari to come here immediately?"

Oishi's head snapped back to his direction. "He's in Sapporo right now...visiting his father."

"Then tell him to get their asses back here and he should bring Ryoma's medical files."

Blue eyes shined with determination. "I don't think Ryoma planned to go down like this...it's too easy...too unfitting for the Prince."

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The hospital was not far in sight. Ohtori was still sobbing his heart out in one corner. It was making the rest anxious.

Tezuka studied the young man. "You're still not going to tell us anything..."

He was cut off when the limo came to a halt. Ohtori jumped out of the limo the moment and ran inside...with the four of them trailing from behind.

They caught up with him in the information.

"He's in ISO-ICU 1--"

Ohtori didn't even let the woman finish. He knew the hospital so well that he could live here.

"Ohtori! Wait up!" Tezuka called from behind but the young man ignored him as he sprinted past corners and halls. It took him a minute or two to get to the room which the info lady gave him. Right behind him were Ryoma's four lovers.

"W-why are we stopping?" Fuji asked, panting a little. Ohtori just continued staring at the name on the door.

"This is it." Sanada said upon seeing Ryoma's name. He turned to the musician who was still rooted on the spot. "Ohtori-kun...aren't we going inside?"

Ohtori clutched the file folder he was holding. His breath was trapped in his throat and his feet won't seem to move. 'I-I can't see him like this. I-I can't.'

"Oh for Christ's sake!" Atobe whimpered in frustration.

Tezuka reached out a placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We can do this Ohtori-kun."

Ohtori gazed up at him warily before he reached out for the door knob. Just as when he was about to touch it, it was yanked away from him, the door swung open.

"I don't think the intracranial pressure is increased...if it did...his eyes would've--" Yukimura stopped dead on his tracts when he bumped against Ohtori. "Ohtori-kun?!"

Ohtori and the others pushed past the doctor and into the room...only to have silence fill the room.

The air was heavy with sadness...Ohtori stared in wide-eyed wonder, the file folder slowly slipping from his grip.

"N-no..."

That fragile silence shattered into a million of pieces as Nanjiroh was pushed off the bed by four individuals.

"N-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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It took them at least ten minutes to calm down the five. The room was filled with sobs and whimpers that they had to close the door again to avoid disturbing other people.

"Guys...calm down."

Tezuka glared at Oishi. "How can we calm down?!" Finally, the stoic, composed lawyer lost his cool. "You think we'd just lounge here while Ryoma's in the brink of death?!"

Surprisingly, it was Atobe who recovered first and took Tezuka in his arm. "Now Mitsu...your attitude is not helping us."

"But Keigo!!" Tezuka tried to break free from his embrace. "If they...if they only told us earlier...we could--we would--"

Sanada was oblivious to the scene inside the room. He just kept on caressing Ryoma's face with gentleness he never thought he had. The tears were just silently trailing down his cheeks as he tried to memorize every detail...everything.

"If you didn't leave, he wouldn't have suffered the way he did!" Yukimura shouted. Another surprising note...it was him who was in full battle cry, not Oishi.

Fuji, on the other hand, found himself crushed by Ohtori's death grip as the musician sobbed his heart out. "R-Ryo..."

Nanjiroh watched the melodrama play out before him. He left lost...so out of place in this aspect of Ryoma's world. He took a sharp breath and stepped between the two raving men.

"Do you think Ryoma would appreciate this now?" He asked, his voice calm.

Yukimura and Tezuka blinked back their surprise. At first they thought that the man was non-existent.

"You can bicker all day but that wouldn't help him. My god, he doesn't even have all day." Nanjiroh felt another lump in his throat. "All that he has left is approximately 5 hours and 15 minutes...please, don't do this to him."

Atobe watched the man intently. "And why did our Ryoma, my Ryoma turn out this way Echizen-san?"

Nanjiroh felt his blood turned cold. The weight of their gazes, all seven pairs, fell upon him. "I-I...w-we were playing tennis."

"What?!" It was Ohtori who cried. "But he's not allowed to play tennis! He cannot engage in activities that require too much movement!" He glared at the man with every bit of hatred that he got. "HE CAN'T EVEN HAVE SEX, DAMN IT!!!!"

"I didn't know." Nanjiroh flatted out. "he just came to me after the party, asking me to have a game with him before he leaves." His lips began to quiver as he spoke. "Had I known that it'd kill him, I would've refused. But I can't...upon looking into his eyes I know I can't deny him anything...I-I j-just can't--"

"Well that is understandable." Sanada suddenly spoke up. His eyes were still glued to Ryoma's face.

"You're his father."

There was a knock on the door and in came a middle-age looking doctor, followed by a pale-looking Rinko.

Yukimura and Oishi stiffened at the sight of the man. "D-Dr. Yoshizawa!" They gave him a curt bow as the cardiologist went to Ryoma's bed.

Seeing his wife diverted Nanjiroh's attention. "What are you doing here Rinko?" He asked.

Rinko just stared at her husband in a wide-eyed fashion. Her lips were clamped shut as her gaze shifted from Nanjiroh to Ryoma.

They watched in silence at the senior attending cardiologist assessed Ryoma's status. It only took a couple of minutes before he turned to them.

"Is the legal representative here?" He asked.

Ohtori scampered to get p and get the file folder he brought. "I am. What is it?" He shivered under the doctor's unwavering gaze.

"I will be asking you to sign the harvest form."

It wasn't only Ohtori, but everyone else inside the room froze at the statement.

"W-what are you talking about?" Fuji finally got his voice back.

The doctor gave Yukimura and Oishi a glare. "I thought you have explained everything to them."

"But--"

Nanjiroh stepped forward. "They did but he still has five hours." he eyes drifted back to Rinko again. The heavy feeling in his chest intensified. "You cannot force him to sign it just yet. Ryoma-kun might--"

"He's Ryoga's only hope, Echizen-san." Dr. Yoshizawa pushed up his glasses. "And from what your wife had been telling me, she and Ryoma-kun seemed to have an agreement."

Tezuka felt as if someone punched him hard on the gut. He stared at the woman, mimicking Nanjiroh's shocked appearance. It seemed that everyone inside the room, aside from Ohtori, was perturbed by the statement.

"R-Rinko?" Nanjiroh gasped. "What is the meaning of this?"

The woman in question squirmed under the scrutinizing glares sent to her. "I...h-he..."

"I don't believe it."

Ohtori approached the woman steadily, with loathing evident in his eyes. In a blink of an eye, a resounding slap filled the tiny room.

"Ohtori-kun!!!!!!"

" YOU HEARTLESS WOMAN!!!!!!!"

Rinko was perturbed. The stinging pain on her cheek was the only one anchoring her into reality.

"How can you actually come here and ask us that?!?!?!?! You are a trash of a mother if you can't even tell, deep inside you heart that the one you're asking to give up his life is your very own son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

forfeit

Kirihara stared at the shattered ceramic before him. He was having tea with his officemates when by some unknown reason, his cup fell off the table and broke into pieces.

"Kirihara-kun, are you ok?" Of his of colleagues asked.

Kirihara blinked a couple of times, trying to register what happened. His eyes caught sight of his phone. With trembling hands, he took it...gazing unto his wallpaper...a picture of him and Ryoma, taken during their trip to the Bear Museum a month ago.

'Oh god...'

forfeit

Now that shut them up, even Dr. Yoshizawa was speechless. Ohtori turned to him.

"Get out of here." He told the man. "I will not sign anything unless that clock," He pointed at the wall clock, "Strikes the sixth hour of my friend's inebriation. So you can haul your ass out of this room."

Dr. Yoshizawa shuddered at the intensity of the young man's gaze. He sought out Rinko, who was still in a state of shock. He sighed. "Very well, but in five hours I will be back." With this, he strode out of the room, closing it behind him.

With the cardiologist gone, the tension inside grew rapidly.

"You're joking right?" It was Oishi who asked first. Alas...It was only Ohtori who knew everything.

Ohtori shook his head. "No." He took a piece of paper from the folder and handed it to Nanjiroh. "That's a result of a DNA testing which Ryoma applied for, two years ago, the first time you met. He took the straw that you used without you knowing and sent it to be examined." He watched as Nanjiroh's eyes almost bulged out of its sockets.

"His adoptive grandmother, Ryuzaki-sensei told him that you are his real parents just before she died." Ohtori sat on Ryoma's side, gently caressing his face. "She found him in a burning hotel...only a few weeks old."

"T-this is insane!" Rinko grabbed the paper from her husband's grip. "My son died...h-he..."

Ohtori glared back at her. "He's alive. Had you not expressed your denial about his existence to the public, he would've lived a peaceful life until now, not filled with anger and hate."

Nanjiroh's brain shut off the conversation that followed. He just stared at Ryoma's serene face. 'M-my son? So this means...t-this feeling in my heart...this longing directed towards him is not just a displaced emotion?' He soon found his feet slowly moving towards the man on the bed. His heart regained a new form of strength as it pumped harder...wilder.

"R-Ryoma..."

"This is nonsense!" Rinko's outburst shattered into the room. She threw the paper away as if it was some virus-laden article. "He came to me! He offered me his heart! He's not my son--!"

Nanjiroh whisked around to grab his wife. "What more do you want Rinko?!" His golden eyes were gleaming in anger. "He's our son! For years I have been struggling with this attachment towards him that I have inside my heart and now I know why. Why are you closing your eyes...your heart...?"

"What about Ryoga?" Rinko asked. Tears were slipping down her cheeks. "Are you going let him die now? Are we even sure that--"

Fuji had enough. A plan of taking his Ryoma's heart away was enough...now implying that his beloved is a liar was too much for him.

"We're not asking you to acknowledge him!" The tensai cried. "And he's not giving anything up because we're taking him home and you will never see him again!" He whole body trembled at the sheer hatred he felt. "He's not asking much of you, Rinko-san. Ryoga was able to experience what it feels to be yours...Ryoma hasn't."

"But no matter what happens, we'll take him since you don't want him."

forfeit

Fingers twitched a little. Soft moans can be heard from the still figure on the bed. A pair of eye lids fluttered a little before it slowly opened...

"M-Mom?"

Golden eyes blinked a couple of times, wanting to register everything around him. 'Am I in a hospital room?' he tried to move but he felt so tired. His eyes caught sight of the contraptions attached to him.

'Shit...'

A hand slowly moved to reach out a familiar button at the side of his head. He pushed the "call" button. He looked around again...he saw no one.

'Now where was everybody?'

forfeit

"No!" Nanjiroh snapped at him. "No one's taking my son home. If anyone has the right, I do. I'm his father."

"Guys..." Yukimura swallowed hard. "This is not really the time to fight." Eight pairs of eyes pierced him. "I mean look at the clock! This stupid fight took twenty minutes from Ryoma's time! Shouldn't we plan a way to save him?" He breathed hard, hoping they got his message.

"This is not about who gets to take him home. This is about who cares for him and his life." The teal-haired doctor paced back and forth. He paused to look at Rinko. "I'm sorry to put a blunder on Ryoma's plan of revenge on your family but I will not let him give his heart out."

The door swung open again and a nurse too a peek.

"Echizen-san? Your son has awakened."

Rinko made a move for the door instantly but she stopped dead in her tracks when she felt an invisible pull. She turned and gazed at Ryoma's body. There was a painful tug in her heart upon seeing the man's serene face.

"N-Nanjiroh..."

"You go." Nanjiroh gritted his teeth, feeling his heart being torn in two. "It hurts to think that I'm abandoning Ryoga at his time of need but I had already done so much for him. I'm staying with Ryoma...because I want to cram 23 years into five hours...I want to be a father...even if it's too late."

Rinko wouldn't hold it back anymore. The emotions in her chest burst out like water released from a full dam. "N-Nanjiroh...p-please..."

Nanjiroh forced himself to keep his guard up. He turned around and sat on the bed. He took Ryoma's free hand and held it tight.

"Please Rinko...he's our son too." Tears were falling relentlessly down his face. "Don't force me to choose who I want to live longer. I want them both...but Ryoma needs me more than ever."

"I don't want to let my son to die without even telling him know much I have yearned for him for years."

forfeit

Oshitari groaned upon receiving Oishi's messages. He was in a family meeting when the doctor called so he wasn't able to pick it up.

"Otousan..."

An older version of Oshitari...with graying hair turned to him. "What is it?"

Oshitari took a deep breath. "It's Ryoma-kun."

The old man stood up and clasped his shoulder. "His time is up isn't it?" Oshitari nodded solemnly. The doctor's frown was replaced by a cocky smile.

"Not if I can help it."

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Ryoga had been eyeing his mother for some time now. From the time she came back, and hugged him. The way her hair covered her face told him that he has been crying. He didn't ask immediately since he thought that it was because of him.

"Mom...its ok." He muttered softly. He wanted to reach out and hold her hands but his condition wouldn't permit a wide range of motion. "I'll be fine."

Rinko looked up, still in tears. She watched her son on the bed...then she compared it to Ryoma. 'W-why didn't I notice before?'

"Mom?" Ryoga asked again.

Rinko snapped back into reality. "I'm here Ryoga...Mom will never leave you." She reached out and held his hand tightly. "Mom loves you so much."

Ryoga smiled a little. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." He sighed. "Did you know that in my sleep, I have dreamt of Ryuzaki Ryoma?" Rinko flinched at the mention of his name. "He and I got into a fight yesterday. I said some awful things to him." He closed his eyes for a while.

"And I realized what an ass I had been."

"R-Ryoga..."

He opened his eyes again and stared into his mother's face...which was filled with agony and pain.

"I want that heart now, Mom. I want to live longer so that I would be able to apologize to those whom I have hurt...especially Ryuzaki-kun." He marveled silently at the tears welling up in his eyes.

Rinko couldn't hold back it anymore. She let out a sob that became the trigger for all the anguish inside her heart of burst out. "I'm sorry Ryoga...I-I'm a h-horrible mother...I-I'm so sorry."

forfeit

Oishi and Yukimura left the room upon Nanjiroh's request. He wanted Ohtori and the others to leave too but he felt selfish if he's to deny them the opportunity to be with Ryoma.

"I never thought he'd go this far Jiroh-san." Ohtori muttered. "I had been trying to change his mind for the last two years but he just wouldn't listen."

Nanjiroh reached out and caressed Ryoma's face. He wanted to memorize everything about his son...the facial contours...the skin...everything.

"I don't understand." Atobe groaned. "Why was he being kind to you if he hated your family that much?"

Ohtori turned to the diva. "It's because Ryoma was never able to nurture animosity against Jiroh-san. He tried but he couldn't. It's probably because he didn't deny Ryoma his existence in his life."

Nanjiroh just sat there silently listening to them. 'I'm sorry kiddo.' He leaned in until his forehead was touching Ryoma's. 'I should've trusted my heart...it had been telling me that you're for real...but I ignored it...for years. Please forgive me.'

"I pray that you live longer...so that I could show you just how much you mean to me."

"My son..."

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A/N: yeah...I shed tears while making this chapter. This is too traumatic for me. (Breathes deeply) please wait for the last three chapters...

To takari-love: Sorry if I wasn't able to respond to your last question. It's just that our thesis is a bit hard to handle. Now...liver cancer is fatal. It's one of the organs that you don't want to fdamage if you want to live passed 50 years of age. It could lead to different complications esp. that it's one of the organs to which blood mainly circulates. If it's in an early stage...the best treatment/management I know is transplant. A sick liver shouldn't be subjected to chemotherapy...it's like signing a death wish if you ask me.

P/S: MY MIDTERMS ARE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! But I've got more problems ahead of me. The dreaded REVALIDA is back...oh god I still don't know the management for thoracenthesis! Damn it!

I hope I get to live longer so that I could start on the new OT5 angst (light only) I've been dreaming for a few days now. The working title is "Will you still love me tomorrow?" and an OC will be presented.

Oh well...

IF YOU WANT MORE...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	17. fight or flight

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages. And oh yeah...those texts that are in **bold** are phone conversation or anything that is electronic conversation.

Oh yeah this chapter will be divided into five parts...outlining the 5 hours left of Ryoma since last chapter.

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2nd hour...

The word spread fast and soon almost all of Ryoma's friends came to visit. And since that the room where Ryoma was confined seemed too small for the grieving crowd, Atobe ordered a room transfer.

And the room Ryoma was transferred to was the presidential suite.

"Guys..." Niou sweat-dropped at the sight of the lamenting crowd when he came inside the room. "He's not dead yet." He forced himself to look away from the lone figure on the bed, pale as snow and still as a rock.

"But they said he has six hours!" Eiji cried as he collapsed on his knees.

"It's approximately 4 hours and 58 minutes Eiji." Inui brushed off the tears that welled up in his eyes. His statement made not only Eiji but a handful of visitors wail.

Fuji was backed up against the wall. He couldn't breathe. Suddenly, the little air that he had been sharing with his lovers and Ryoma seemed to ran out.

"Fuji?" He turned to see who called him and saw Taka looking at him sympathetically.

Fuji shook his head. "I-I'm sorry taka...I-I need some fresh air." With this he left the room hurriedly.

In his head, he felt like hurting the new comers. 'Why can't they leave us to be with Ryoma until the end?'

"I mean...they had been with him for five years...I have not. Don't I deserve to be with the one I love because all else end?"

He paused abruptly...realizing that he had strayed far from Ryoma's room. He turned around, determined to throw out all the intruders out of Ryoma's room when he passed by a room with its door opened. His eyes caught sight of a familiar raven-haired man, propped up on several pillows.

Then suddenly he felt his heart skipped a beat, his hands started sweating as his face grew paler by the second. He was rooted on the spot finally realizing that it was Ryoga Echizen who was lying there.

Without him knowing, his feat started to move towards the room.

forfeit

Ryoga opened his eyes the moment he heard a soft footstep. He felt tired...it seemed like his heart is indeed exhausted. He slowly turned to see who the person was and his eyes widened in surprise to see Fuji standing by his doorway, looking like he saw a ghost.

"S-Syusuke?"

Fuji forced his feet to move. He approached the sick man and sat on the chair by his bedside. "Ryoga..."

Ryoga closed his eyes, savoring the soft voice that spoke his name. He felt the clammy hands of the brunette held his and he held on tight. Two years...in that span of time that they were together, he cherished him dearly...loved him dearly. But...

He opened his eyes and saw the tears that were slipping down his cheeks.

"Syusuke...why are you crying?" He pained him to see his past love in this situation. He knew that he should be stressed out...but with Fuji, he'd risk it.

"It's nothing." Fuji wiped the treacherous tears away. "It's just a hard time for me...for us."

Ryoga frowned. "Tell me."

Fuji shook his head. 'How am I supposed to tell you that a few meters away from here lay your brother whose life is ticking away? How am I supposed to tell you that it would be his heart that will soon occupy your chest?' a chill ran down his spine at the last thought. 'But Keigo wouldn't permit that.'

Ryoga sighed. He averted his eyes from that handsome brunette. "Well if you won't...then I have something to say to you."

Fuji looked up and saw how saw Ryoga looked. "I did something bad...that's why I'm stuck in here, waiting for my heart to stop beating."

"I had a fight with Ryuzaki Ryoma." Ryoga looked back to him, guilt shone in his eyes.

"Now looking back to it, I can't explain why I feel such a jerk for saying those things to him."

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3rd hour...

Yukimura's face was set in an eternal frown as he checked Ryoma's vital signs.

"Anything, Seiichi?" Niou asked hopefully. His hopes then deflated when Yukimura shook his head.

"If we could only send him for a CT-san." The doctor muttered under his breath which Tezuka heard.

"Then why don't you?" He asked.

Yukimura shook his head and pointed at Ryoma's ID wrist band. "It is stated there that no diagnostic exam should be perfumed."

Tezuka groaned. "Rules, rules, rules! It's Ryoma's life on the line and we still have to follow fucking rules?!"

Yukimura felt drained. He didn't have the time and the energy to deal with their frustrations. He looked at his watch and gritted his teeth. 'How long does it take to fly from Sapporo to Tokyo?'

The door opened again and in came Nanjiroh with Ryoma's tennis bag.

"I brought it in..." Someone grabbed the bag from his grip even before he could finish speaking. He glared at the culprit which was no other than Atobe.

"I haven't seen this in a while..." The diva breathed out as he clutched the familiar, blue and white bag. Tears started too welled up his eyes again.

"And I can't believe that I'd be seeing this in time where in my love will not be able to use this anymore."

forfeit

Rinko stumbled back into Ryoga's room only to see Fuji seated next to her son. She felt her breath caught up in her throat when she saw how solemn Fuji's face was.

"M-mom?" Ryoga peered at her face, concern washing over him. "Are you ok? You look pale."

Fuji looked up and saw Rinko standing by the door, looking at him with wide eyes. For someone whom he should hate...he felt pity for the woman.

"F-Fuji-kun?"

The tensai stood up. "I think we need to talk, Rinko-san."

"wait--" Ryoga tried to sit up.

"Ryoga...you can ask your mother anything after I have my talk with her." Fuji told him. "You shouldn't be stressing yourself out."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "But it's you who's making me--"

"It's ok Ryoga." Rinko rushed towards him and gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Everything is ok." She turned to Fuji. "Should we do this with coffee--?"

Fuji's glare intensified, making the woman bite back the rest of her sentence. "we do not have time for coffee, Rinko-san." He left the room, expecting that the woman would follow.

Rinko bit her lip and followed him outside.

"Fuji-kun..."

"How long are you going to keep this from him?" Fuji was determined to glue his eyes on the walls. 'I don't know what I would say if I get to look into her eyes.'

Rinko slumped down on one of the seats. "I-I don't know. I honestly don't know."

"you do understand that your other son is just a few rooms away...dying, right?" He clenched his fists tight until his knuckles turned while. "And that Ryoga will be devastated once he found out that the very heart that is beating inside his chest belonged to the brother whom he never had the chance to know." He turned to the now-sobbing woman next to him.

"I-It's so h-hard to be-believe Fuji-kun." Rinko swallowed hard. "What kind of a mother would not recognize one of her own? I talked to him...been with him. I felt the same feeling Nanjiroh felt but I ignored it. A-all that I could think about is s-saving Ryoga."

Fuji sighed. "I understand that part Rinko-san...but to continue to deny him even if the hard truth was already slapped on your face? Have you seen how vulnerable Ryoma is? He had no one...and yet the one person whom he thought would gather him up and hold him close denied his existence...again."

Rinko couldn't handle the guilt...she broke out into a fit of sobs. "I didn't know! Oh god...I-if...if..."

Fuji turned to face her. "Don't you think it's a tad too late for your "what ifs", Rinko-san? Are you just going to let him die without even allowing him to feel how it is to be with his real mother? Are you going to let Ryoga live the rest of his life in guilt and remorse, knowing that he lost something valuable without being given a chance to know it?"

"I-I don't know what to do." Rinko wrapped herself in her arms, trying to ward the chill that Fuji's words created.

Fuji sighed. "I don't exactly hate you. We had our equally share of guilt as to why Ryoma turned out this way. But right now...Ryoma needs you. He needs his mother. Ryoga is alive and well...we can find another heart for him."

"But for now...the one who truly needs us right now...our presence, our support, our love is Ryoma. Maybe...just maybe, it would give him enough strength to give life one more chance."

"Go to him Rinko-san. He needs you now, more than ever."

forfeit

Kirihara jumped out of the taxi as soon as it stopped in front of Moritaka Gen. He pushed past the crowd...wanting to get to Ryoma as soon as possible.

"I'm coming Ryoma...even if I'm no the one you need, I'll stay by you until the end."

forfeit

Sanada busied himself with giving Ryoma a sponge bath. He saw the curious looks that the rest were sending him but he ignored them anyway. Now is not the time for rationalizing actions.

'So beautiful...' He mused as he gently patted Ryoma's face with a damp cloth. 'So beautiful and yet so lonely...'

Then suddenly a ripple of silence washed over him. It piqued his interest but he resisted. For now, he wants to focus on his youngest lover. He wanted to do something for him...just anything.

A feminine-looking hand gently held his hand still. Sanada looked up and saw Rinko, with tears still flowing down her face, looking at Ryoma with longing so intense that it almost made his dim.

"W-would it be o-ok if I d-do that?" Her voice was hoarse from all the crying she had been doing.

Sanada smiled a little and handed her the cloth. "By all means, Echizen-san. He's your son after all." He stood up to give way for the woman as she continued where he left off. Her sobs intensified when Sanada moved away from the bed.

"I'm sorry...I'm r-really, really sorry." Rinko wiped her tears away as she worshiped her son's handsome face. "M-my b-baby..."

"W-will you b-be able to f-forgive Mommy?"

forfeit

Kirihara ran all the way up tot he fifth floor where the presidential suites are. He cursed his new lifestyles, which is a company manager, that his body seemed to have slowed down.

"Damn it!" He cursed as he reached the landing, panting hard. It took him a minute or two to catch his breath. He stared down the long empty corridor.

"Now, to his room." He muttered as he started to move. He looked around for a familiar face but he saw no one. In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the name "Ryo" so he immediately entered the room through the open door.

"Ryoma!"

Silence greeted him as a similar pair of golden eyes peered up to him. Kirihara sweat-dropped as he stood there, by the doorway, staring back at Ryoga.

"Ryuzaki's not the occupant of this room." Ryoga couldn't help but frown. "But would it be ok if I ask as to why are you looking for him?"

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Fourth hour...

Atobe was almost tempted to smash his phone on the floor. He had called up hospital regarding Ryoma's condition and he the same answer: no management would be done due to his status.

"Keigo..." Sanada eyed his lover warily.

Atobe ignored him and dialed again. "I'm going to have an ICU set up in the mansion. If no hospital would want to do something, I will."

forfeit

Kirihara glanced at the clock. He had been talking to Ryoga for while a while now...and he couldn't believe that he had forgotten his true purpose of going to the hospital.

"Please excuse me for a while Echizen-san." Kirihara sudden blurted out. "I have to go and check on Ryoma."

Ryoga couldn't help but frown. "Why?"

Kirihara felt a bit bad at the sight of the frown on the man's lips. "He's my ex-boyfriend after all...and he needs me now."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. "But Syusuke and his lovers are already there."

Kirihara sighed. "Whoever Ryoma chooses to love doesn't actually matter right now. Even if I'm not the one, I would still want to be there for him."

forfeit

Ohtori watched the scene before him unfolds. People came and left the room...in both instances they have tears in their eyes. They tension inside the room was comparable to a seesaw...it kept on it's suffocating pace that he suspected his heart would burst any minute.

He looked around and studied every person inside the room. Each one wore a solemn expression. Each one looked on edge...he bit his lip. Why can't he feel the same apprehension? He searched the contents of Ryoma's bag...the tennis racket, a shirt...the usual stuff.

'Why do I feel so calm in times like this?' He asked himself. He took out Ryoma's shirt and clutched it to his chest, taking in the scent that it Ryoma's alone.

'Maybe it's because Ryoma had prepared you for this...it was you who knew everything from the start, wasn't it?'

Ohtori swallowed hard. 'Yes...maybe that's the reason why I feel like this.' He turned to watch Ryoma's lovers once again. 'What should I do? I'm the one who will get to decide if this is going to be the end of his journey. Of course I want to be with him longer...but Ryoma will never be able to forgive me if I let his brother die.'

Another knock and in came another intern. One kept on coming back, trying to get him to sign the release form but each one was driven out with overwhelming rejection.

"We told you--" Nanjiroh let out a sigh of frustration as he glared up at the intern.

"Jiroh-san," Ohtori stood up. "Please..."

The shaken intern looked at him hopefully. "I'm here to discuss with you the organs--"

"Yes I know." Ohtori snapped at him, feeling the angry glares bore into his skin. "Just give the damn form." He snatched it from the intern's grip. "I'll get back to you after I read this."

"O-ok."

The intern left...living the room in turmoil of silent anger.

"Ohtori!?!?!"

He looked up to meet their anger. He gripped the form tightly. "I'm just thinking about the other option." He took a deep breath. "I know Ryoma...and for three years of living together I can see how tired he is. Sometimes it occurs to me that it is much better if he's to rest for good, away from the things that are hurting him."

Sanada stepped up to him and grasped his arms tight. "Please..." There were tears that were slipping down his cheeks. "Not yet. Don't forfeit yet. We still have two hours."

"I'm not asking much...just a little more time. He might wake up...he could wake up. And I can't imagine what would I, everyone feel if we take that option from him at such an early point."

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Fifth hour...

Ryoga felt restless. He hated being left in the dark...and that's what everybody was doing to him right now.

First, his father was nowhere to be seen. He should've been there the moment Ryoga opened his eyes.

Next, his mother was acting strangely. It seemed like she had been crying for a long time. It was understood that she would behave the way because of him getting sick but she should've cheered up when he woke up...but she didn't. It seemed like his return only aggravated matters more.

Next, everyone kept of rambling about Ryoma...yes. Ryuzaki Ryoma seemed to have captured everyone's attention once again. And surprisingly...he didn't feel that same animosity towards it.

His stint with that Kirihara earlier was out of pure jealousy. 'Since when Ryuzaki get to keep the most handsome men?' He closed his eyes and slumped back on his pillows. He felt tired...strained.

"Why can't just anybody tell me what is happening?"

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Yuushi tapped his fingers impatiently on the arm rest. They had landed and it's been quite a while...they were not letting anyone out yet.

"Damn it." He cursed under his breath. "This is so not happening." Soon he felt a warm hand on his. He looked up and saw his father's determined face.

"We still have an hour Yuushi...it's just airport traffic...we'll get off soon." The older Oshitari gave him a small smile. "We'll make it."

Yuushi found himself nodding at his father's words. He closed his eyes again.

_Are you sure about this, Ryuzaki-kun?" Sharp, scrutinizing eyes studied him like a hawk as the golden-eyed man studied the document before him. _

_"As my lawyer Oshitari-san, you seem rather soft." Ryoma smirked. "Has living with Syuichiroh-san influenced you that much?" He muttered while twirling a pen in his fingers. _

_Oshitari sighed. "This is a serious matter Echizen. You are signing this document as if you're--"_

_"Willing to throw my life away?" Ryoma finished for him. _

_"Yes." Oshitari breathed. "As your lawyer, I'm asking you to reconsider." _

_A sad smile crept up Ryoma's lips as he watched the changing expression on the lawyer's face. "I'm not THAT willing, Oshitari-san." He stood up and started for the door. _

Yuushi opened his eyes once more and took the file case which contains Ryoma's files. He took the papers out and studied it again.

"You're one hell of a client Ryuzaki Ryoma..." His eyes wandered around the document."As expected of the Prince...you wouldn't allow yourself to go down so easily."

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A phone ring broke the silence inside Ryoma's room. It was Ohtori who reacted fast and started looking for the source of the sound.

"Are you ok, Choutarou?" Niou asked his lover worriedly.

Ohtori didn't answer immediately as he continued looking for the phone.

"Ohtori, please you're scaring us." Fuji muttered.

"It's Ryoma's phone." Ohtori blurted out. He caught sight of Ryoma's tennis bag and grabbed. "I wonder why the alarm went off." He added. He opened the small pocket inside the bag and took out a mobile phone.

Tezuka couldn't contain his curiosity so he went to the musician and peered into the phone as well.

"Well? What is it?" Nanjiroh asked them.

"I-it's a voice recording." Ohtori's voice croaked. "And I think Ryoma recorded it himself."

"Really? Then let us hear it!" Atobe tried to grab the phone from his grip but Ohtori held it out of reach. He glanced at the still figure on the bed...to Ryoma's serene face.

'What do you want to tell us Ryoma? Are you telling me that you really planned this to happening?'

His eyes snapped back in alertness when Tezuka succeeded to grab the phone from his grip.

"Tezuka-san!?"

**"Choutarou..."**

Everyone froze the moment Ryoma's soft voice echoed inside the room.

**"I know that by the time you get to hear this...I wouldn't be in a good shape. In fact...I may be dead or dying."**

"Oh fuck Ryoma!" Atobe collapsed on one of the chairs and started crying. "Bastard!' The rest was still perturbed at the seemingly ghostly recording.

"**I'm recording this as I walk towards the last game of my life...a game against my very own father. It seems like I am going to my own doom...but it will be something that I won't regret. I love my father...it pains me to realize that I won't be able to say this to him face to face. It's up to you to convey my love to him."**

Nanjiroh leaned against the wall, his strength leaving him. 'Why Ryoma? Why let it end up to this?'

**"As I count the last seconds that I have, I can't help but be afraid of the decision I have made. I know there's no going back now...it's the end of the road for me. However, when I got to feel how to be loved again in the arms of my ex-lovers, I started to chicken out. I started contemplating on dropping everything that I planned. They made me feel alive again...made me feel whole." **

"**However I know that by allowing myself to be drawn back to their embrace would hurt them immensely. I'll be leaving them soon...it's best that we stay apart as we are. Please ask for forgiveness in my behalf. They deserve it."**

Tezuka almost dropped the phone but something inside him wants to hold on. To hear that low...soulful voice of his beloved made his heart ache in pain. 'Oh god.' Tears were freely trickled down his face. 'Why did it have to happen to him? Why us?'

Sanada leaned his head against the wall, not wanting the world to see how he completely broke. Hearing his lover speak seemed surreal...so heart-wrenching surreal. He pounded the wall with his fist, trying to ease the strain in his heart. 'Stop it...I don't want to hear anymore...it hurts!'

Fuji collapsed on the bed, still in a daze. His Ryoma...their Ryoma was looking after them all along. The reason for his aversion...was to keep them from hurting the moment he was gone. "Ryoma...R-Ryoma..." His lips quivered as his tears fell once more.

**"I'm sorry that I have placed a great burden on you, Choutarou. It's just that I couldn't bear it on my own. If all ends up ugly and you get to decide my fate...don't hesitate to choose what is best. At the end of the day...all I was able to picture was my mother in tears...wanting Ryoga to live longer. And I realized that I genuinely want to help him...he's my brother."**

Rinko held Ryoma's hand tight as her tears fell unto his flawless skin. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry Ryoma...s-sorry."

**"I'm tired Choutarou...no matter how much I want to live, my body just wouldn't listen. I want to live longer, be loved forever and yet I want my brother to live, my family to be happy..." **

Ohtori had to lean against his lover for support. His heart was pounding in his ears. 'Why did god allow this to happen to such a great person? Why him, of all people?'

**"But most of all...all I wanted was to be happy."**

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Sixth hour...

Everyone's eyes were glued on the clock. They held their breaths as they counted in time with every second.

Without them noticing...Kirihara slipped out of the room. He was still in a daze as he walked aimlessly along the corridor.

A continuous blinking of a call light caught his attention. He approached the room and saw a distressed-looking Ryoga who kept on pushing the call button.

"Echizen-san?" He asked.

Ryoga looked up to him in annoyance. "I hate being like this. My parents are nowhere to be found. Nobody bothers to tell me what the hell is happening." He huffed indignantly.

Kirihara sighed at the childish behavior the model was emanating. "Echizen-san..."

Ryoga threw his hands up in the air. "I mean, they don't have to isolate me!" With that outburst, his chest ached. "Shit!"

Kirihara watched in horror as Ryoma clutched his chest, face contorted in pain.

"C-call b-button." He gasped.

"Fuck the call button!" Kirihara dashed out of the room.

"HELP!!!! SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!"

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A helicopter just landed on top of Moritaka Gen. and a white-clad doctor, carrying a small cooler got out.

"Dr. Yanagi!" An intern greeted him.

The doctor nodded. "Ahh...I have it alright."

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Yuushi and his father immediately jumped out of the taxi and ran inside the hospital. Every second was crucial...if they want to save Ryoma.

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Chaos broke out upon the new of Ryoga's attack. The Echizen couple scrambled out of the room to get to their other son.

Meanwhile, Dr. Yoshizawa came back, holding a piece of paper.

"We told you, not until the sixth hour!" Tezuka snarled at the doctor. But the man just ignored him. His gaze was directed to Ohtori.

"Ohtori-san, I have here a document sent by the NGO by which the patient was a member. This is regarding the conditions of the Harvest."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Niou spat out. He snatched the paper from him and scanned it. "Oh shit."

Dr. Yoshizawa cleared his throat. "According to that, the harvest will occur if the recipient of the heart became critical. According to Echizen-kun's status, he is in dire need of a heart."

"This means I need your signature now."

"NO!!!!!!" Atobe cried, running to Ryoma, draping his body over him. "You're not taking him away! Ohtori, I swear if you sign that form I will kill you!!!!"

Ohtori was at a loss. It just stood there gaping at the doctor.

"Ohtori-san?" Dr. Yoshizawa asked again.

Ohtori snapped from his daze and took the form. With shaking hands, he took a pen.

"Ohtori!!!" The door slammed open, a disgruntled Yukimura and a panting Oishi standing by the door way.

"This is none of your business anymore." Dr. Yoshizawa told them. "The patient just expressed his wishes to save his brother."

"No!!!!" It was Nanjiroh who cried. It was standing right behind the two doctors. He pushed past them to get to Ryoma. "Please don't take him away...he's not dead yet!"

Ohtori's mind went blank. He stared at the individuals before him, seemingly talking and screaming with no sound. Nothing registered in his head. He just stood there, waiting for all of it to end.

"I'm going to sue this damn hospital! This is malpractice! Or negligence or whatever you call it!!!!! This is unfair!!!!" Tezuka cried, looking like he wanted to pound the doctor to the ground. And he would've hand if Sanada wasn't restraining him.

"Ohtori-kun? What is your decision?" Dr. Yoshizawa asked again, ignoring their protests.

"EVERYONE JUST STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They turned to the door and saw an old man, looking at them murderously. He went inside, with Oshitari close behind.

"Yuushi!!!" Oishi cried at the sight of his lover.

"Dr. Oshitari?!" Dr. Yoshizawa and Yukimura gasped.

Yuushi cleared his throat and held out the folder he was carrying. "I'm the patient's lawyer." he told Dr. Yoshizawa. "Even though Ohtori-san is his legal representative, the patient's wishes will be followed."

Dr. Yoshizawa took the folder. "But his NGO already sent--"

"I think you only received the half of the message. According the agreement my client signed, a harvest will occur if and only if all bodily reflexes are gone or diminished and the recipient of the heart goes critical." The young lawyer caught sight of the grieving individuals before him.

Yukimura moved quickly and started checking for reflexes: dorsal, plantar, patellar...none. Biceps, triceps, brachioradiallis...he whimpered in distress as tears clouded his sight. He brushed off those treacherous tears and tried again...still none.

"I guess this concludes everything." Dr. Yoshizawa said, seeing the results.

"WAIT!!!!!!!" Dr. Oshitari's voice boomed inside the room. He gently pushed Yukimura out of the way. "You're being too emotional, kid." He muttered as he placed a thumb on Ryoma's xiphoid process and pushed.

They watched in amazement as Ryoma's whole trunk raised off the bed and back again. The old doctor did it again...positive.

He turned to Dr. Yoshizawa who slightly faltered under his glare. "Are you telling me then that I am wrong, Dr. Yoshizawa?"

"N-no Dr. Oshitari. Of course not." Dr. Yoshizawa stammered. "I could never say such things after I witnessed the expert."

They breathed easy when they saw the cardiology backed away however, there was another figure looming by the door.

"Ren!!!" Yukimura gasped.

Yanagi smiled at him. "I brought a heart that is the exact match to a patient here. I heard that Echizen Ryoga's points rose up by 3 so I had to rush here."

Yukimura finally allowed himself an undignified whimper and ran to succumb into his embrace. "Oh Ren you're the best!"

"But where did you get the heart?" Oishi suddenly asked.

"There was an accident near downtown six hours ago. One of the casualties was a donor." Renji said.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go same lives people!!!" Dr. Oshitari clapped his hands and Yukimura, Oishi, Yanagi and Yoshizawa snapped in attention and moved.

He turned to face Nanjiroh and the others. "Now we will see if the bullet moved, which caused this inebriation. I will do my best to save your son..." His face broke into a smile. "It's your job to stop him from suing me once he wakes up ok?"

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A/N: Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I dun like this chapter!!!!!!!!!!! It's so hard to make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sprawls on the floor and cries) Two more chapters to go. Thank you so much guys!!!

Dorsal, plantar, patellar, biceps, triceps, brachioradiallis are all peripheral reflex points in the body.

IF YOU WANT MORE...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	18. the forked road

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

I wish this fic would break TMTYM's record reviews...i hope smiles hopefully to her readers

The medical terms...I shall try to explain as I go along the chapter ok?

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They teetered over the edge as they watched Ryoma's being transferred to a stretcher.

"What's going to happen now?" Atobe asked.

"We are going to send him for a CT-scan and see the status of the bullet inside his head." Yukimura told him. He let the nurse to wheel Ryoma out of the room.

"You can join us if you want so that I could explain it to you as well." Dr. Oshitari told them.

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Rinko was gently pushed aside just as Ryoga was wheeled inside the operating room. She didn't know if the tear she was crying was for Ryoga or Ryoma. Both were in danger...both are going to die if nothing happens...and all else fail.

A hand tapped her shoulder that made her jolt. She turned and saw the worried face of Dr. Yoshizawa.

"Echizen-san..."

"Oh please tell me you got another donor!" Rinko blurted out. "Preserve them both. Don't let one die for the other." she ranted.

"It's ok Echizen-san." Dr. Yoshizawa sighed. "We got a heart and it's not Ryoma-kun's. Just leave everything to me ok?"

Rinko nodded and watched the man enter the operating room. "Please...oh God..."

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"Why not an MRI, Dr. Oshitari?" Sanada asked as they watched Ryoma being carefully loaded on the machine.

"The boy has a bullet in his head. We'd be killing him if we put him in an MRI." the older doctor replied.

"It'll be like a slow-moving gunshot, ripping his brain." Yukimura added as he sat next to the technician. That silenced them for a while. They waited patiently for the images to appear.

"There's the little bitch." Yukimura muttered while pointing to a small cylindrical object lodged inside Ryoma's brain. Dr. Oshitari shook his head in disbelief. "It moved approximately 3 millimeters down of the Taste Area of the cerebrum. It is dangerously pressing against the diencephalon."

"This does not look good." the older doctor muttered.

"W-why?" Nanjiroh asked. He glanced back on the image of the computer. "What's wrong with him?"

"Yeah...and Earth-speak please." Atobe added.

"Ok, here's the real deal," Dr. Oshitari started. "Three years ago, the bullet luckily lodged on the part of the brain which has very manageable function, the Taste Area. However, due to recent activities that Ryoma had been engaged in," he eyed Nanjiroh and Ryoma's lovers spitefully. "The bullet shifted and it's now pressing against the control centers of the body, the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. The pressure that the bullet exerts caused alteration of the functions of these two glands, thus, I may safely conclude, causing his temporary comatose state."

"I hope it's only temporary." he added.

"Damn!" Tezuka attempted to bang his head on the wall. 'Stupid Kunimitsu! This is your entire fault!'

The doctor then turned to Yukimura. "Now, my dear student, how do you suppose we tackle this?"

Yukimura swallowed hard. "Well, the only solution is to remove the bullet in the direction of the trajectory."

"Very good." Dr. Oshitari nodded. "But it's not going to be easy."

"Why?" Fuji asked.

"It's a great risk. The complications outnumbered the therapeutic benefits. That is the reason why Ryoma-kun rejected the procedure in the first place." Dr. Oshitari said. He turned to the computer screen. "The trajectory canal should be filled with fluid by now...the problem is how to extract the bullet without causing further damage to the brain tissue. The complications range from paralysis to alterations of hormone functions, speech defects, motor defects, mental and behavioral alterations, amnesia and worst of all, coma or death."

He turned to face the crowd. He studied their solemn faces closely. "I think that Ryoma-kun grew up proud and strong. And during that time he mentioned that he's alone since his grandmother just died a year before the accident. If the surgery failed, who would take care of him? What would happen to him?"

Nanjiroh straightened up and held his chin up. "He got his family now. I will personally take care of him, no matter the outcome of the surgery would be."

Fuji glanced at the man. "I guess you'll have problems with that since I will make sure I get to take care of him."

Yukimura sighed out a frustrated sigh. "Come on guys, not now." he then turned to his mentor. "what shall we do now?" his senpai, however was focused on the bickering individuals before him. "Senpai?"

Dr. Oshitari smiled a bit. "Get consent. We'll try to relieve the pressure on Ryoma-kun's diencephalon." he turned to face Yukimura. "We'll see how to we'll manage after that." he leaned in to the microphone.

"Please take Ryuzaki-san back to his room." he turned to the rest of his audience. "Dr. Yukimura will give the pre-op meds while you process the consent form." he sighed. "we'll send him to the OR table as soon as all pre-op tasks are done."

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They came back to Ryoma's room and sat quietly as they watched the nurse injected some medicines. they jerked back to life though when they saw her holding up an electric razor.

"Just what the hell are you doing?!" Atobe asked indignantly.

The nurse was perturbed when the diva snatched the device from her hand.

"Keigo!" Tezuka grabbed his lover. "What the hell are you doing?!" He hissed, hoping that the diva would realize that every second is crucial.

Atobe returned his glare with the same intensity. "I'm not letting her cut off Ryoma's hair!"

"Keigo!" Fuji cried. "They need to shave off Ryo's hair in order to do the procedure!"

Atobe's jaw dropped. His gaze shifted from Tezuka then to the rest of the occupants of the room.

"Atobe-san, may I?" The nurse finally spoke up. Atobe glared at her for a few seconds before letting out a deep sigh.

"No."

Sanada groaned and fell back on the sofa. "Keigo, you're not helping."

Atobe spun around to glare at him. "It's a no because I will be the one to do it!" He turned to the nurse once more, his expression softening. "Please, may I do this?"

the nurse studied him for a moment. "Fine." She held out a pair of clean gloves to him. "But I will coach you on the proper way of doing it."

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Ryoma looked up from his crouched position. Suddenly there was an irritating buzzing sound that echoed the entire dark plane he was in.

'What the hell?' His head darted to and fro as the sound grew louder. He clutched his head, feeling the vibration inside his skull.

"If this had been a normal situation, I would have died from gloating...doing this to you...shaving your head."

Ryoma stood up abruptly. Soon blots of colors splattered his once-black monochromatic hell.

'Keigo?'

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Atobe did not attempt to wipe his tears away as the first locks off Ryoma's ebony crown fell off to the towel.

"But I won't" He added as he moved with deliberate care, not wanting to inflict Ryoma any wound. "This is something that only we can share."

He was half-way through Ryoma's head when he paused. His eyes caught a curved scar-line on his beloved's head. He traced it with his finger.

"That's the incision line Dr. Oshitari created three years ago in attempt to take the bullet out." The nurse told him.

Atobe looked at the woman. "R-really?"

The kind woman nodded. Atobe glanced back to the sleeping face below him.

'God Ryoma you still look amazing even with your head shaved.' he mused. He leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Ryoma's forehead. He didn't notice the gentle movements of fingers...or the soft fluttering of eyelids.

"A-Atobe-san..." The nurse stuttered.

"What is it?" The billionaire turned to her curiously.

"U-um, t-the..."

Atobe's brow arched up at the sight of the stuttering nurse. He shrugged and went back to his task, only to end up staring into a pair of endless golden orbs.

"Boo."

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Dr. Oshitari had his eyes glued on the expectant faces of Yukimura, Oishi and his son. He was on the phone with his friend who was into manufacturing of medical instruments and equipments.

"Yes I understand this is quite a surprise but I think three years was enough." He muttered. "Yes...I'm sorry but--" 

Yukimura held his breath. 'Please! This is Ryoma's only chance!' He let it all out when a smile grazed Dr. Oshitari's face.

"Oh great! So it should be here in about two hours I expect?"

Oishi was elated that he grabbed Oshitari's arm and shook him. "This is it! Oh god!"

"Ok. I'll be waiting for it then. Thank you so much." He slid his phone back to his pocket and grinned...as in grinned like a cat which ate a bunch of canary.

"We have it!"

A cheer resounded in the hall but it was cut short when the nurse in-charged of Ryoma dashed up to them.

"Dr. Oshitari! Dr. Yukimura!" The nurse panted.

"What is it?" Yukimura asked, the euphoria he felt soon went down the drain.

"T-the patient has a-awakened!"

It was all it took for all four of them to dash back into Ryoma's room.

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"You big dolt!!!" Ohtori squeezed his friend tighter while he sobbed his heart out in earnest. "You know that you almost made me do?!?!?!"

"You're crushing him!!!!!" Nanjiroh wanted to pry his son off the man's death grip, watching him passively taking everything in.

Ryoma was still in a daze. First, he believed that he'd be doomed forever but now, he's back, by some miracle's work, he's alive.

Ohtori finally let him go, only to let him be crushed by his four lovers. Despite the ruckus, Ryoma couldn't take it all in. he felt weak and drained and he couldn't comprehend everything.

"Ryoma," Tezuka pressed his forehead against his, hazel orbs drowning in golden ones. "Don't leave us ok?"

Ryoma blinked a couple of times and yet he didn't speak. Tezuka bit his lip, apprehension filled his chest. What if Ryoma already lost his ability to speak?

"Tezuka-kun? May I?" He gently released the man. He stood up hesitantly to allow Nanjiroh to be with his son.

"Ryoma..." Nanjiroh wiped his tears away as he caressed his son's face. "I'm here. D-don't worry. I'm here." He pulled him into a tight embrace...so warm that it made Ryoma feel safe.

The door opened and in came his doctors. Ryoma's eyes narrowed at the sight of them. 'Oh well...here we go.'

"I'm so glad you're awake Ryoma-kun." Dr. Oshitari smiled.

Ryoma met his gaze. "Did you do something to me?" It was the first time he spoke ever since he opened his eyes. "I had a DNR tag. Shouldn't I be dead already?" There was spite in his voice that they couldn't quite explain why.

"Ryoma, please be polite." Nanjiroh told him. "They have been trying hard to save you."

Ryoma kept his eyes glued on the doctors before him. "Tell me, why am I still alive? Isn't it that Ryoga's supposed to had undergone the transplant by this time?" He turned to Ohtori. "Didn't you sign the consent?"

Ohtori hiccupped. "I-I can't Ryoma. I just can't."

Ryoma's eyes narrowed. "Then who's going to save my bro--him?"

Nanjiroh took a deep breath. "We already know Ryoma. Ohtori told us earlier." He held his son's clammy hand. "You're brother is indeed in the OR now, but it was somebody else's heart, not yours. I will not allow them to let you die like that."

Ryoma scanned their hopeful faces. Somehow he felt a dark feeling looming around him. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. 'They know...oh god then how am i supposed to go on like this?'

He felt another presence by his side and he realized that it was Fuji. "Ryo, everything's going to be alright. I will not let you go this time.'

He was riveted in the sapphire orbs that ware staring down at him. "No."

"What?!" Atobe gasped. "What the hell are you talking about Ryoma?"

Ryoma turned to Yukimura and Dr. Oshitari. "My answer is still the same."

Yukimura gaped at him. "But--!"

"Stop it Ryoma!" Sanada's voice boomed inside the room. "Why are you making things difficult?! We're here! Your family is here! We have the cure! Why still choose death?" The raven-haired man shook with the emotion coursing through his body.

"Are we still not enough?"

Ryoma closed his eyes. 'I know that line from somewhere.' Yes, it was like a re-enactment of the tableau that happened five years ago. Difference is, he's not the one begging this time.

"_Am I not enough?" _

He swallowed hard and opened his eyes again. Before him were the faces of the most significant persons in his life...hoping...still hoping that he wouldn't let go.

"It's still a no, Gen."

"Why?!" Atobe cried. "We love you damn it! We're jerks for abandoning you years ago but it didn't change the fact that we love you and still love you. Is this your way of punishing us? God you're so selfish--" The diva silenced under Ryoma's intense gaze.

"Selfish?" Ryoma scoffed. "As far as I am concerned, you left me. You're the one who's selfish." His golden eyes shifted from Atobe to the rest of his lovers. "And despite the intense pain in my heart, I willingly and selflessly supported your decision. I think I deserve to be selfish for once after all I've been through."

Nanjiroh felt his chest tightened. "But what about me, Ryoma? A-aren't you going to give me a chance to a-at least..."

Ryoma took a deep breath and averted his gaze. "I'm...I'm really, really tired Ji-san. With Ryoga getting someone else's heart, I feel like I failed in the one thing that I could do for you."

"Then live for me!" Nanjiroh held the young man's face with his hand. "If you don't want to live for them, do it for me! Please!!!"

Dr. Oshitari came forth and placed a hand on Nanjiroh's shoulder. "Please, give him time. his mental functioning might be compromise due to the stress he's been to." He let out a sigh when the man gently released his patient. He turned to Ryoma.

"Please reconsider. For three years, I had been working with a friend on an instrument that would facilitate ease in removing the bullet. The success rate increased--"

Ryoma closed his eyes, his senses picking up the shadows of ache in his head. "Dr. Oshitari..."

"Yes?"

"I want to rest now."

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Rinko had been sitting outside the Operating room for quite a while now since the surgery started. She held on to the rosary she had in her hands tightly.

'Please...whoever heavenly being is willing to hear me out, please save my sons.' She swallowed hard as the beads dug painfully into her skin. ' I know I have been the worst mother one could have but I'm asking this not for myself...but for the reasons of my existence.'

She looked up, hoping that the red light would go green. 'For my sons...I just realized I don't want to lose them both...especially Ryoma.'

She didn't hear someone approached her. She jerked in surprise when someone slid next to her.

"Rinko."

She looked up and saw the wary face of her husband. It seemed like the man age a decade in just a few hours. She took his clammy hands and held it tightly in hers.

"Keep praying Nanjiroh." She leaned in to whisper against his ear. "Everything will be alright."

"No." A sob escaped from the man's throat. "It's not going to be ok." There were tears once more that were falling down his face. "It's not going to be ok and I don't know what to do." His lips quivered. "God! I don't know what to do Rinko!" He slumped back against the wall.

Rinko felt a pang of pain in her chest at the sight of her distressed husband. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her. "Shhh...don't say that Nanjiroh. Tell me what it is that's bothering you."

Nanjiroh dissolved into fits of sobs, muttering incoherent words against his wife's neck. They had been like that for a few minutes, until a shadow loomed over them.

"Nanjiroh-san, Rinko-san."

They looked up and saw all four of Ryoma's lovers standing before him. The couple composed themselves as the four men sat opposite them. They had been silent for a few minutes, just waiting for the first one to speak.

Fuji sighed. "Well...this sucks."

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Ryoma let out a sigh of relief when he found the room empty the moment he opened his eyes again. Seeing that he is alone both gave him comfort and pain.

_"I'm telling you this, Ryuzaki-kun, not because I want to scare you." The elderly man frowned. "This is the only chance you have to a longer life." _

_Golden eyes blinked back the apprehension. "But you're telling me also that this might not succeed at all, right?" _

_The man sighed. "It's a risk--"_

_"Then it's a risk I'm willing to forego, Doctor Oshitari." Ryoma smiled sadly. "As you can see, I'm on my own now. If you take whatever is left with me, I don't think if I'd have the will to live longer." _

_"Ryuzaki-kun..."_

_Ryoma blinked back the tears the threatened to escape. "You're telling me I could lose everything that I am; my mind, my sense of identity and personally...my memories? No, I cannot risk losing my memories Dr. Oshitari."_

_"It's the only thing left with me as a remembrance of what life really is. If I lose it, no one will help me get them back and I don't want to live the rest of my life not remembering those who made my life worthwhile."_

_"It is just a possibility--" _

_"No!" Ryoma slammed his hands on the table. "Don't ask me to forfeit the only reason why i continued living. It's my memory of them that kept me alive. Even though it hurts like hell, I still want to remember for the rest of my life how it felt to be loved by those men._

_"It's the only way I know for me to continue loving them despite the fact that they left me."_

Ryoma sighed. 'I never expected it to turn out this way.' He tried sitting up but he could not feel his legs and arms. 'I'm almost as good as dead...why bother fighting?' He gave up trying. He glanced at the door longingly, almost feeling the presence of his lovers and dad just outside the door.

'They want me back...but there's no way I could. I strayed too far from them that I don't think they'd be able to catch me before death does.'

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Kirihara took a deep breath. He had been standing outside Ryoma's door for quite a while now. He felt stupid waiting outside with Ohtori and the others when he can spend more time with his ex-boyfriend.

'Ok...I gotta stop calling him that.' Kirihara sighed, hoping that the courage he needed would come to him soon. "Ok...here I go." He turned the knob and went in.

"Ryoma..."

The figure on the bed moved. Kirihara let out the breath that he has been holding as he carefully approached the bed. "Hey there."

Ryoma kept his eyes closed. "Akaya...are you here to try and convince me too?"

Kirihara sat gingerly next to him. "No." He sought out the golden orbs which he adored so much but Ryoma kept his eyes shut. "I just came in to check how you are and to tell you that I got to talk to your brother earlier."

Ryoma's eyes flew open upon hearing the word "brother". He weaved through the haze of nausea as he tried to focus on Kirihara's face. "You did?"

Kirihara nodded. "I mistakenly entered his room, thinking it was yours. We had a little chat just before he had another attack."

Ryoma pursed his lips together, wanting to reserve any comments for later. And besides, he felt really sick as of the moment and he's afraid that by frequently opening his mouth, he'd spill his guts all over Kirihara.

"He told me something that i think you should know." Kirihara gave him a sad smile.

"What is it?"

"He said he was sorry." Ryoma's eyes widened in amazement. "He was sorry for calling you selfish. He couldn't quite understand why but he just felt the guilt was already eating at him."

Ryoma's mind reeled. Since he was in the brink of death, receiving this information felt a bit off-the-rocker for him. His hand shot up to feel for the kidney basin by his table. Kirihara noticed it and handed him the basin just in time for him to retch his insides out.

"Ryoma!" Kirihara felt numbed. Seeing Ryoma like this made his heart swelling in sympathy. He helped the young man clean up after that.

"I'm sorry." Ryoma muttered weakly as Kirihara came back from the bathroom to empty the basin. "I just feel nauseous."

"It's ok." Kirihara told him as he helped him for a gargle and a drink. Once calm, Ryoma sought out Kirihara's emerald eyes once more, his heart swelling with emotions. "Did he really say that?"

"Yes...it seemed that the connection is finally working. It's just sad that it had to work only when the two of you were dying."

Ryoma closed his eyes as he felt dizzy once more. Nevertheless, his chest left like a ton of bricks was lifted of it. It made him breathe more easier.

"Akaya..."

"Yes Ryoma?"

"Thank you for telling me this."

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Fed up by the silence...the four of them decided it was best that they go back to Ryoma's room. On their way there, Fuji raised the dreaded question.

"What if the surgery failed?"

Tezuka spared him a warning glance. "Syusuke..." He trailed off when sorrowful sapphire orbs looked up to him.

"What will you do if he's left physically restricted for the rest of his life?"

Even Atobe and Sanada were not able to supply him the answers he needed. Fuji sighed.

"I will stay with him...until the end." He announced, causing his lovers to stare at him. "Even if you already gave up in caring for him, I will continue loving him for the rest of our lives, even if he's permanently damaged." He felt an overwhelming determination pouring out of his heart from an endless spring deep inside him.

"So if ever you feel like you cannot face the possibilities, tell me as soon as possible. I don't want--"

"What in Heaven's name are you talking about Syusuke?" Sanada's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that we only love Ryoma--" He paused, not wanting to actually utter the words. "I think it has been established firmly that our love is not as shallow as you think it is."

Atobe leaned against the wall, still in deep thought. He ignored the glaring match between Fuji and Sanada.

_"I think that Ryoma-kun grew up proud and strong."_

'Maybe...maybe he thinks that if he would burden everyone if the surgery failed.' He bit his lip at the realization that dawned upon him. 'Maybe he thinks that he'd be useless to us if he can't--if he can't provide for our needs...specially our sexual needs if ever he ends up physically or mentally disabled.'

Tezuka just watched the situation unfold. He's at a loss for a solution. His head was full of what ifs that he couldn't bring himself to join them. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"Tezuka." He turned around and found Oishi staring up to him dejectedly while clutching a piece of paper.

"What is it Oishi?" He asked.

The green-eyed surgeon took a deep breath. "I don't know how you will do it but you have to convince him soon. You just can't let him die like this. Please."

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Ryoma opened his eyes again when he heard the door opened. His heart fluttered in excitement as his lovers entered the room one after the other. He bit his inner cheek as he tried to pacify the longing in his heart.

"Ryoma..." Tezuka was the first to step forward and sit next to him.

"Kunimitsu, stop. I know what you want." Ryoma let out a sigh. "And I believe I just can't give you this one." He tried to avert his gaze but Tezuka gently coaxed him to keep eye contact.

"Ryoma, hear us out first ok?" Tezuka asked him. His grip on his chin eased. "We're just here to tell you how much to mean to us. We will always love you Ryoma. The time that we were apart only intensified this feeling within us. We made a mistake and now we're paying the price. Please...give us one more chance."

Ryoma was shocked to see tears falling down his face. His once stoic, cold lover and captain bared his soul to him...for the first time. He reached out and gingerly wiped away a tear that stained his Buchou's pale cheeks. Tezuka took that very hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it.

The mattress to his left dipped and a face buried into his neck. Ryoma recognized the mess of raven locks.

"Gen..." He tried to suppress the shiver that ran up his spine when he felt the man kissed him there.

"You were right when you said that we're the selfish ones in this story. And because we're selfish, we don't want to let you go. I don't want to let you go." Ryoma felt him shook a little and there was something wet against his skin.

'God! I made these two rocks cry!' It was the only thought that registered in his head. Then he felt a gentle pressure on his chest and his heart just tripled over.

"We'll take care of you, not matter what the result of the surgery is." Fuji muttered, feeling the steady beat of the young man's heart under his palm. "You would've have to pry yourself from our grip to escape."

Ryoma took a deep breath. "Guys, you're just saying these things now. I-I cannot entrust myself to you...knowing that sooner or later you will change. How can I be of use to you when I'm trapped in a wheelchair, babbling like an idiot?"

There was another gently pressure upon his stomach, plus an arm draping over his waist. "Do you think we care about the sex that much? Yes sex is amazing but I think we're past being hormonal teenagers. Aside from that, we need your presence Ryo...we need you by our side. Please don't leave us."

Ryoma took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself. His heart was pounding to his ears and he could feel the amazing warmth his lovers were emitting. His heart swell with happiness.

"I-I don't know..."

Tezuka caressed his face and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "You are Ryuzaki--or rather Echizen Ryoma. You're the dare devil of the tennis courts. You never give up. You never forfeit a game. Be that Ryoma once more."

"Be our Ryoma once more."

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Dr. Yoshizawa watched his masterpiece before him. "That should do it." He said.

"Now for the final test." Yanagi took the electric shocker from the nurse and handed it to the doctor. "Should it beat for this man now?"

Dr. Yoshizawa positioned the rods. "We'll see. They went through hell and I'd like to see how this story ends." He smirked. "Sharge to 200."

"Clear!"

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They had been staring at each other for quite a while now while the rest stood in apprehension. No one could tell how this encounter of mother and son would end up.

Ryoma took pity at how his mother struggled to find the right words to say. 'She's still my mother after all.' He mused.

Rinko swallowed hard. 'Is he going to yell? Cry? God! I don't know how to do this!' She wrung her hands in anxiety.

Nanjiroh sighed. He forgot that Ryoma probably hated Rinko for everything. 'Maybe I should've done this in some other time.'

Ryoma swallowed the lump in his throat. He weakly held his hand, as if wanting to shake hands with her.

"Let's start from the beginning." He said. "Hi, I'm Echizen Ryoma alias Ryuzaki Ryoma. I'm twenty three years old, a former tennis pro and currently an aspiring musician. I was adopted by a female tennis coach named Ryuzaki Sumire." Soon he felt his eyes warming as tears well up.

Rinko took his hand tightly in hers. She was already crying.

"Oba-chan said that I wasn't a difficult baby to take care of. I usually sleep most of the time and even when I grew older I still did. She took me to America when I was eight and I stayed there with her niece..."

Soon everyone was crying as the golden-eyed man narrated the twenty years of his life.

"And I'm gay." He took a deep breath and gazed at his lovers. "And I'm in love with not one but four men who made my life like a rollercoaster ride." He smiled a little, seeing the cocky on his lovers' lips.

He turned to his father. "I hope you're not expecting for grandchild from me. I would have to adopt one if you want it that much."

Nanjiroh wiped away his tears. "I guess I'd have to live with that."

Laughter filled the once-cold room. Ryoma felt alive. He felt rejuvenated. 'Maybe...maybe they're right. Life's too precious to pass off.'

The door opened once more and in came Dr. Oshitari. "Ryoma...are you ready?"

Ryoma gazed at the doctor and smiled...genuinely.

"I never thought I'd say this but yes...I think I am."

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A/N: ok...raise questions and I will answer them next chapter...THE LAST CHAPTER. I hope that I did ok.

Am still speechless...oh well...

IF YOU WANT MORE...

MAKE ME HAPPY AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	19. end of winter

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

I wish this fic would break TMTYM's record reviews...i hope smiles hopefully to her readers

The medical terms...I shall try to explain as I go along the chapter ok?

Yeah...to answer PV22's query, the reason that i know a lot about anatomy, medicine and such is because I'm a Nursing major. I'm currently on my 3rd year. I had been exposed inside the OR three times already, one time as student scrub nurse during an Apendectomy, and an observer in a CS delivery and a right Salphingo-ooferectomy (removal of the right fallopian tube and ovary). Aside from that i watch Grey's Anatomy, CSI and House.

I don't get to spy much during OR procedures...ward duties demand a lot of time.

Just to share my delight, I spent five days in a community health center where I get to make CUTE and ADORABLE babies cry. I JUST LOVE IMMUNIZATION!!!!

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It was like a slow excruciating march towards the operating room as Ryoma's loved ones insisted to walk with the man to the door.

Sanada held on firmly to Ryoma's hand while Rinko did on the other.

"Gen..." Ryoma tried to hide the apprehension in his heart but he knew nothing could escape the raven-haired man's questing eyes.

Sanada smiled at him. "Everything's going to be ok. Don't falter now, Ryoma."

Ryoma felt a wave of relief. The man had always been a source of strength for him. "I-I won't."

Sanada wanted so much to kiss him right now but the nurse already warned them that Ryoma's already considered clean...and to go inside the OR means you have to be clean so that soon you can be sterile.

Their march stopped. "Here we are Echizen-san." The nurse who was leading the pack said. "You'd have to bid them a temporary goodbye for now."

Ryoma nodded. he turned his gaze to the hopeful faces before him. His heart swelled with gratitude.

"Son..." Nanjiroh grasped his hand, causing Ryoma to look up to him. His lips quivered as he tried to suppress the cry that bubbled out of his chest. "...You have to come back to me, ok? Remember that you have to...you need to come back because our old man is waiting for you. Understood?"

Ryoma smiled up to him. "I will...just make sure the you will be there once I come back."

"Ok."

"Ryoma..."

Ryoma turned to his mother. She was crying again. "Dry your tears. Please...I don't want it to be the image that I shall bring with inside the room." He grasped her clammy hands. "Please...Ka-san?"

Rinko swallowed hard as she hastily wiped away her tears. "This is my second time to accompany a son to the operating room. Your brother is still inside one. Make sure that you come back so that you could recover together, ok?"

Ryoma nodded mutely. He couldn't say more...for if he did, he might just want to back out.

"Ryoka-kun, it's time." The nurse told him. The stretcher moved again but it paused once more when Ohtori grabbed his hand by impulse.

"Choutarou..."

"R-Ryoma..." The man's eyes brimmed with tears."God bless you my friend."

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Rengi let out a sigh of relief.

"Congratulations people." Dr. Yoshizawa announced as the last counting was done. They surveyed the work of art before them.

"I'm relieved that there's a new beat that will resound in the caverns of his chest." The man said.

Rengi smiled. "Should we go out now and spread the news?"

"I think so."

The young surgeon gazed at the still-unconscious form of the oldest of the Echizen siblings. 'You are one lucky bastard, Ryoga Echizen."

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Ryoma squinted his eyes but all he could see was the blinding flash of light. He tried to move but every muscle in his body seemed a tad too heavy.

'So this means that the sedative is working...coz I feel soo..'

His line of thought was cut short when a dark shadow obscured the light that has been prickling his eyes.

"Ryoma-kun?"

He recognized the voice, somehow. His drowsy eyes fought hard to make out the face of Yukimura. "Seiichi-san...what is happening?" He drawled out.

Yukimura swallowed hard, trying to appease the anxiety in his heart. "The sedative drug given to you early is already working. In a few minutes we will induce the general anesthesia."

Ryoma pouted. Everything's blurry now. "Anes--what?" Then another shadow stood next to the one he's talking to.

"Are you ready Ryoma-kun?" The voice of Dr. Oshitari rang inside his ears.

"R-ready? I feel...I feel fear..." Ryoma muttered, fighting hard against the drug that's been causing him to black out.

"Everything will be ok Ryoma-kun. Now would you please count to ten, backwards."

Ryoma took one last deep breath. "Dr. Oshitari, Seeichi-san, is things failed...please don't blame yourselves ok?"

Yukimura felt a vice grip on his heart. it nearly choked the breath out of him. "R-Ryoma-kun..."

Ryoma closed his eyes. "Ok let's do this." The anesthesiologist placed the oxygen mask on him.

"Ten...nine...eight...seven...si..."

Dr. Oshitari took in a deep breath at the young man slipped out of consciouness. "Is everyone ready to save a life?" Everyone nodded in affirmation. The older man looked directly into Yukimura's blue eyes.

"Are you ready, Yukimura-kun?"

Yukimura nodded firmly. "Yes, sempai."

"Ok then. Knife please."

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Only a few of them were left since most of their companions were shooed away. They were crowding the hallways too much.

"It has been 15 minutes since Ryoma went inside." Ohtori muttered to no one as he slumped on one of the plastic seats. "I hope this doesn't take like hours or something."

Rinko sighed and sat next to him. "I don't know Ohtori-kun."

They heard a soft beep and the red light on the operating room next to Ryoma. Rinko and Nanjiroh jerked in alarm.

How could they forget about their other son?!

The swinging doors were pushed open and out came Dr. Yoshizawa and Yanagi.

"Echizen-san."

Rinko ran towards the doctors. "How was it? What happened? Is my son ok? Is he alive?"

Nanjiroh held her hand firmly. "Please...we've been in a terrible amount of stress now and--"

Dr. Yoshizawa's face brightened up with a smile. "He survived Echizen-san. Although the first 48 hours of will be the most crucial period, I have great faith that he will recover."

Rengi smiled at them. "His vital signs are good. However, we should be very vigilant since a lot of post-operative complications may be present."

"Where is he?" Rinko asked, her lips quivering. "Where's my son?" The very moment, the doors of OR1 were pushed open and slowly, out came a stretcher containing no other than Ryoga with different gadgets attached to him.

Rinko tried to run to him but Dr. Yoshizawa stepped in her way. "Calm down Echizen-san. Remember that every movement is crucial it might cause an embolus and kill your son. He will be slowly transferred to the ICU."

Nanjiroh held his wife back. "Don't worry Rinko." He led her towards the stretcher as it began to move again. "Everything will be ok." He cast Fuji and the others an apologetic look.

"We'll be back--"

"It's ok Echizen-san." Tezuka cut him off. "We'll call you immediately for reports regarding Ryoma's progress inside. Be with Ryoga. He's the one who needs you right now."

Nanjiroh smiled at him. "Thank you." He gave one last look at the closed door of OR2 before he lead his wife away, following Ryoga.

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Dr. Oshitari gently removed the portion of the skull after handing back the drill to Yukimura.

"Flush please."

The nurse handed Yukimura the spout for the flushing solution and the young neurosurgeon gently cleared the blood off, revealing to them a portion of the parietal part of Ryoma's brain.

"Tsk." Dr. Oshitari shook his head. "There it is." He pointed at the small 5 mm hole. "Suction please."

Yukimura moved to insert a small tube into the whole.

"Careful boy...slowly." Dr. Oshitari told him.

Yukimura nodded and pushed the suction button. He gently pulled the tube out as it continued to vacuum the cerebrospinal fluid inside the canal.

"Cranioscope please." The nurse handed him the traditional bulky cranioscope. "No, the other one, the smaller one."

He grasped the custom-made rod. "Ok, this is the first time I will be using this." He said as the image screen was switched on as switched on the small black rod. "I had a friend of mine make this for me for this sole purpose only." With his gentle hands, he touched the soft exterior of Ryoma's brain and gently inserted the device. His eyes were completely focused on the monitor as it displayed the internal tissues of the delicate organ.

"I'm entering the cerebrum now."

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Atobe paced back and forth they waited outside the operating room. The last time that he felt this unrelenting anxiety in his heart was when Ryoma had an episode just days ago.

"Keigo...please you're making everyone dizzy." Tezuka groaned.

Atobe turned to him. "But I can't calm down! How can I calm down?!" A passing intern sushed him, in which Atobe happily returned with a glare.

"Do something productive then." Sanada suggested. Atobe stared at him like he was an annoying rat that scampered from its hole.

Kirihara sensed an impending verbal argument coming so decided to butt in. "Why don't you go and organize Ryoma-kun's---I mean Echizen's room? I'm sure he will be glad to wake up to a very relaxing environment which is conducive for recovery."

They stared at him for a few seconds.

Atobe blinked a couple of times. Did the scrawny brat just ordered him? He opened his mouth to give Kirihara a piece of his mind when Fuji jumped up and grabbed him hand.

"What a wonderful idea!" The brunette smiled. "Let's go!" He then started to drag Atobe away.

"But--but what if they finishes--" Atobe protested but Fuji just tightened his grip on his lover.

"It's ok Keigo...I think the tension is too much already that we need to ease it a little." They walked in silence as they climbed up to Ryoma's suite.

Fuji opened the door and scanned the room. It was not long ago that his sick young lover occupied the bed, almost waiting for death to dawn upon him.

'I'm just glad that he decided to give life another shot.'

"This place is much too small for Ryo-chan." Atobe announced. "I want him transferred to the presidential suite of this hospital."

Fuji shook his head in disbelief. "Really, Keigo..."

Atobe spun around to gaze at him intently. The brunette stared back at his lover, his curiosity building by the second.

"What is it now? You're planning to dress his room bloody purple?"

"Idiot." Atobe snarled at him. His face then softened. "I was thinking back on an article that i read a few years ago about how siblings influence each other."

Now Fuji was really curious. "And?"

"I read that siblings, especially twins can somehow soothe each other by mere presence and proximity. I wonder if that's applicable to Ryo-chan and Ryoga."

Fuji stared...and stared hard. "Are you insane? You know how much they hate each other! Ryoga might die due to heart attack and our Ryo-baby would die due to stroke if we put them in the same room."

Atobe shook his head. "But that was before they knew that they are brothers, Syu."

Fuji held out his hands as a sign of surrender. "I don't know Kei but if something happens to Ryo-baby because of this plan of yours, I'll personally hang you using his bed sheets."

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"Senpai..."

Yukimura chewed on his lip as he watched his senior tried to manuever the gadget.

"Just give me a second." Dr. Oshitari told him. "I almost got it this time." His skillful hands moved with such deftness that you wouldn't think that he is almost in his sixties.

Yukimura returned his focus on the monitor. Indeed, there was a dull metallic object reflecting the cranioscope's light through the haze of cerebrospinal fluid. 

"Easy...easy..." Dr. Oshitari muttered at the pushed the tube a little further. He pushed another button on the handle/control in his hand and a much thinner rod with three claws advanced out of the scope's lumen.

"What is that, Senpai?" Yukimura asked.

"This cranioscope has a special feature. The rod that I am advancing now is actually a magnet that will grasp the bullet to facilitate ease as we remove it." The older doctor explained.

Yukimura's eyes shimmered in amazement as the metal claws finally grasped the bullet.

"Got it."

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Nanjiroh stood up. He couldn't handle the stress anymore. He started for the door.

"Nanjiroh?"

The Samurai let out a deep breath. "I'm just going to check on Ryoma. I will be right back." And with this, he left his wife.

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Ohtori sighed for probably the 50th time since Ryoma disappeared into the operating room.

'But it has been like 4 hours since they started. Don't tell me this will take all day.' He rubbed his tired eyes. He has never felt so exhausted in his entire life.

"I wish...I wish..."

The soft sound of a beep ignited his soul. He looked up and stared at the green light in disbelief.

'Could it be--'

It only took a few seconds for the individuals around him snap into alertness. He forced his self to stand up as well. Somehow, an enormous amount of fear seized his heart.

'What if--?'

The doors were pushed open and out came Dr. Oshitari and Yukimura.

Silence elapsed like eons passing over humanity. The air was heavy and it's suffocating. It was as if everyone was waiting for the first person to break the fragile quietude that seemed to be choking the breaths out of their lungs.

Yukimura smiled at them and the effect was instant. The seemingly smothering anxiety that gripped their throats tight loosened.

"We were able to successfully remove the bullet--"

"OH MY GOD!" Cheers erupted as they tried to express the joy in their hearts. Some jumped...some shrieked and some...had tears falling down their faces. It was another miracle. If Ryoma had not expressed that he is purely human, Ohtori might have considered him as a divine relic.

Always...it never fails. Echizen Ryoma never fails to amaze everyone.

Dr. Oshitari clearing his throat sentenced their jovial moment. His face was serious...the tension loomed amongst them once more.

"Is everything ok, Dr. Oshitari?" Tezuka asked.

The old man sighed. "We removed the bullet, alright but we still do not know if he will wake up."

Ohtori slumped back on the chair. 'Wow...way to go Dr. Oshitari.' He was thankful that the spiteful remark remained inside his head.

"We're expecting him to wake up in two-four days. That would be our marker." The door opened again and out came Ryoma's still form, a mask and a whole-lot more gadgets were attached to him.

"Continue praying though that he'd defy all our doubts and come back to us."

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Sanada and the rest woke up to the soft sounds coming from the piano. Yeah...he remembered everything now. It has been three days since the operation. Ryoma was released from the ICU yesterday with his vital signs stable. The only thing lacking is for him to wake up.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes awake. The rest of the world came to him in a blur. He turned to the direction of the sound. When everything came to a focus, he finally recognized the person creating such haunting, melancholic yet beautiful music.

"Ohtori-kun..."

His eyes darted back to the man on the bed. The cardiac monitor was removed...the EEG was removed. Only the oxygen mask remained. Day in, day out they stayed with the golden-eyed man, hoping against hope that he would open his eyes once more and graze the world with his ethereal golden eyes.

But he didn't.

He stood up and approached the man behind the piano. "Good morning Ohtori-kun."

Ohtori looked up to him with tired eyes. "Good morning Sanada-san." His graze dropped back on the piano keys. "Ryoma had asked me to enter the Maradonna for him so I was thinking of getting some practice while waiting for him to wake up. I just can't seem to get myself to leave for school."

Sanada smiled a little. He let his fingers caressed the keys. "Is this Ryoma's?"

Ohtori nodded. "Yeah. It's the first thing he invested in a month after he woke up from coma." His eyes roamed across the sleek polished wood.

"You think he can hear the music?" Sanada asked.

"I think so." Ohtori replied. "If he could. He must be criticizing my music." An amused smile grazed his lips. "I think he found a new obsession aside form tennis."

"What the sounds of bouncing tennis balls could not appease, the soft notes that his hands created did."

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Rinko sighed. Ryoga was removed the ICU as well since his vital signs were stable. They had been expecting him to wake up soon...the anxiety is too much for both of them to bear.

"Rinko." Nanjiroh came out of the bathroom. "I'm going to check on Ryoma now."

Rinko smiled at her husband. "Ok...I'll switch places with you after two hours ok?"

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"I'm going to check on Ryoma now."

"Ok...I'll switch places with you after two hours ok?"

'What's happening?' Ryoga mused as he tried to fight off the drowsiness. 'Why is--what--?' He forced his way out of unconsciousness. Something made him want to wake up and his parents were acting weird.

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Rinko sighed as the door closed. The three days she and her husband were taking shifts in watching over Ryoga and Ryoma. She liked the idea Atobe raised a few days back about letting their sons share a room while recovering but the doctors vehemently refused.

_'This is all too soon. Remember that Ryoga underwent an open heart surgey." Dr. Yoshizawa pressed in firmly. "If he wakes up in a totally unfamiliar environment beside someone whom he has negative feelings for--"_

_"He might go into cardiac arrest and everything that we've worked for will disappear!" Yukimura cut him off. _

Yes...as much as she wanted to see her sons together, it might not be a good idea after all.

'I don't know how he will react to the truth.' She sat next to him and gently caressed his face.

"You get to be the hero that you longed to be when you were young Ryoga...your brother needs you."

A soft moan came out of the supposed-to-be-unconscious man on the bed. Rinko froze as her heart doubled over. Fingers moved and soon the lids which shut those golden orbs from the world slowly moved until she found herself staring deep into those golden pools with wide eyes.

"Mom..."

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Nanjiroh was busy helping Fuji out as the tensai proceeded to give Ryoma a bed bath. He and his wife with his son's lovers took turns in keeping Ryoma clean. It was the tensai's turn when a frantic knock disrupted them.

Atobe stomped towards the door, irritated that the peace inside the room was shattered. He opened the door just a little, not wanting to expose their ritual.

"What is it?" He hissed at the nurse.

"Um...I would just like to inform Echizen-san that his son, Ryoga woke up three minutes ago."

Nanjiroh would've dropped the damn cloth he's holding if it wasn't for Sanada's fast reflexes.

"Go Jiroh-san." Sanada smiled at him.

He didn't need to be told twice as he dashed out of the room as fast as he could.

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They had been staring at each other for quite a while now ever since Ryoga raised the dreaded question. Neither of them wanted to speak of the truth just yet. Even if their son was down to having nasal cannula...they could quite see how his breathing pattern changed.

"Mom...Dad...Are we just going to stare at each other until..." Ryoga started.

"Ryoga..." Nanjiroh held his hand tight. "You're still under recovery. Please..."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. He took a deep breath. His heart, his new heart was pumping a bit faster but it didn't ache as it did before with his old heart. "Mom said earlier that I get to be the hero that I wanted." He weakly turned to his mother. "You know very well who I wanted to protect then. What's going on?"

"Ryoga..." Rinko bit her lip.

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Fuji smiled at his masterpiece. He was the one who pulled the shortest piece of paper that is why he's the last in the order of those who will give Ryoma the bath. By doing that to his lover, it somehow made his heart swell knowing that he was able to do something for the golden-eyed man.

"Fuji-san..." The tensai turned to face Ohtori.

"Breakfast is ready." The kind man said. The tensai peered past him and saw his lovers preparing the table.

"Thank you." He reluctantly released Ryoma's hand when another set of knocks broke into their sanctuary.

Ohtori was the one who opened the door and was shocked to see a couple members of the maintenance crew outside.

"What's going on?" He asked.

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They stared at their handiwork with satisfaction. They were able to transfer another bed next to the sleeping prodigy and they were waiting for the occupant to arrive.

"You think it's going to be ok now?" Sanada muttered to Tezuka. The bespectacled man just shrugged.

"It was he who requested it."

Like on cue, the door opened once more and a stretcher carrying Ryoga was wheeled in.

"Here we go Echizen-kun, as you have requested." Dr. Yoshizawa told him. Ryoga, however was not listening to him. His eyes were focused on the sleeping man on the other bed.

"So...this is my Otoutou?" He muttered gently. He felt a hand clasped his. He did not need to know who that person was...and besides, he can't even divert his attention from his younger brother.

'Ryoma...' Yes... his younger brother who looked so serene lying on top of pristine while sheets.

"Let's get you transferred on the bed now." He felt someone pushing him to lie back and he let them.

'Chibisuke...'

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Fuji held back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes as the nurses reattached Ryoga's oxygen cannula.

it was like a scene so sacred that anyone who would try to interfere with the reunion of the siblings will be damned sacrilegious for the rest of his life.

When the nurses left, they saw the older sibling reaching out with a weak hand to the bed on the younger one, golden eyes glued on the sleeping figure.

Rinko stepped forth and took Ryoga's hand and Ryoma's hand with the other. She slowly brought it together to let Ryoga grasp his brother's hand. It was like a movie in slow-motion, watching tears pour out of Ryoga's eyes as his gripped Ryoma's hand tighter.

"Ryoma...g-gomen." He bit his lip, desperately hoping that the younger man would open his eyes and look back to him.

Nanjiroh placed his arms around Ryoga's shoulders and held him tight. "He can hear you, Ryoga. and I'm sure your brother has forgiven you already."

"For I know that he has the purest heart amongst all...for he new that there's no love greater than giving up your life for another person."

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The days passed by and the anxiety turned into shards that gnawed at their hearts without mercy. Still the golden-eyed man continued in his deep slumber.

"How long did you say he was in coma after the accident?" Tezuka turned to Oishi. The resident never failed to visit their lover that if he didn't know the real score between them, he'd be jealous by now.

"Two weeks." The emerald-eyed doctor bent to feel for his pulse. "But he's in a much better shape now that he was before. His vital signs did fluctuate for one week."

Tezuka sighed. He then realized how much he had wronged his friend. "Syuichiroh."

Oishi looked up to him in surprise. It has been a long time since the bespectacled man called him by his first name. "What is it, Kunimitsu?"

"I'm sorry. I knew that you were just looking after Ryoma. I'm sorry for the things that I told you before."

Oishi marveled at the sincerity that Tezuka's eyed were emitting. "It's ok. We both were only hoping the best for him...even though it's from two different vantage points." The doctor then turned to the other sleeping raven-haired on the next bed.

"You'd better watch out for him though. I think he's got a possessive streak." Oishi smiled at him amusedly. "You're not only going to compete for Ryoma's attention with his parents...but also his brother."

Tezuka glanced at Ryoga and smiled. "He means well for his brother."

"About the possessiveness streak...I think it runs in the family."

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Atobe is not a patient man. When he wants something...he wants it immediately. But not this time though. This time, he's just like everyone...he has to fall in line and wait...wait in misery for his beloved to open his eyes.

Obsidian eyes watched people come and go inside the room. Everyone, even Ryoma's brother who was recovering from his second heart transplant, seemed so full of life. He wanted to reprimand them.

'No one should be happy. Ryoma's still not awake...they shouldn't smile.' It's a bit selfish of him but he couldn't help but feel that way. 'Ryoma is life...and with him like this so should everone.'

He ignored everyone and seated his self in front of Ryoma's piano. He couldn't help but smirk. Only someone of his stature could pull out a stunt like this. 'This piano symbolizes the life in him...and I wanted as much residual life of Ryoma to fill this room.'

His fingers deftly grazed the ivory keys. It had been a long time since he last played the piano but this is Ryoma's piano. It's as if playing it would someone connect him more to his golden-eyed lover.

There is one piece that he knew by heart. Among all the complicated and profound pieces that Sakaki-sensei taught him, this is the only one that stuck to him until now. His fingers started moving on their own...his heart was filled with so much longing and he started to let it all out.

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Fuji immediately spun around to see who was playing Ryoma's favorite piece, the Ballade Pour Adeline. His eyes immediately caught sight of Atobe. He couldn't help but smile.

"Keigo..."

Soon everyone's eyes were glued to him, even Ryoga who stirred from his nap. "Who's playing?" He asked groggily.

"It's Keigo-kun, Ryoga." Rinko told him. "He's playing your brother's favorite piece."

Ryoga marveled at the skill of the billionaire for a moment before he turned his gaze to his brother. 'Do you hear that Ryoma? It's like he's calling out to you.'

Since everyone's attention was focused on the man by the piano, no one noticed how his eyes almost bulged out of its sockets, or how his jaw dropped when he saw Ryoma's fingers twitched.

No one noticed how the younger Echizen slowly stirred from his eternal slumber...or how his eyelids slowly opened to reveal sleep-hazed golden orbs.

The magic spell Atobe create was shattered with a...

"RYOMA!!"

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A/N: OH BE GOOD TO ME AND REVIEW!!!!!! TOMORROW AFTERNOON IS MY REVALIDA AND I NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE ME GO ON...yeah right!

I'm planning to write an epilogue so everyone...

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P/S: but if somehow an epilogue failed to appear, it means that I stupidly killed myself by jumping in front of a rampaging train because I failed my REVALIDA. I hope that doesn't happen.


	20. epilogue: watch me

A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.

Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, _italics_ for flashback, () for text messages.

A/N2: Ok...this is it...the last chapter. I just want to thank everybody for supporting this story. I had fun doing it since I was able to apply what I have learned from my instructors...for once. Teehee! I just realized something after I uploaded the previous chapter. A friend of mine told me that my main problem is that I don't talk about my feelings...I don't open up to people including my friends. I think I've found the source of my angst. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I mean, I already have an outlet for these pent up emotions and that's you guys. So yeah...I was like crying when I uploaded the chapter.

This would turn out rather short since it's an epilogue after all. I would like to give special thanks to the following:

**takari love: **Thanks a lot. I never expected that's I'd find a friend in you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And yeah, keep those questions coming. There's no better way to fire my neurons than asking questions. Better yet, you may help me review for my finals! Hahahahahahha!

**1xmocha: **Thank you! You are so like the patroness of OT5...thank you so much! It is a priviledge to have you review my work. (Kneels before her)

AND TO THOSE whoO WISHED ME LUCK FOR MY REVALIDA, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED THAT!!!!!! And to all of those who reviewed!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!! Arigatou!!!!! Salamat!!!!!!!!!!

PSS: A REVALIDA is a grand practical exam where we memorize dozens of nursing procedures then we'll anxiously line up outside a room, only to be pushed in to perform an unknown procedure. You only have one minute to get all the materials and must demonstrate the whole procedure in front of a clinical instructor while stating the procedures and its rationales. You get to answer only two questions. It's a 100-point exam where the deductions come in 10 pts. It comprises 20 of my 40 of RLE. And...I PASSED MY REVALIDA!!!!! I PASSED MY REVALIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SO LUCKY THAT I GOT **BLOOD TRANSFUSION** AS MY PROCEDURE!!!! SO LUCKY INDEED!!!! ONE MAJOR DOWN! SEVEN TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ryoma stopped and took one last look at the sanctuary which became his home for the past three years. The scent of the spring flowers filled his senses and the vivid colors of summer made his gut churn in a good sort of way.

Graduation...he never imagined he'd live to see this day. For once he didn't see the old gothic buildings imposing...it didn't feel suffocating as it did before. He watched the students frantically went to and fro, making the last preparations for the Ceremony. He smiled.

"I'm definitely going to miss this." His hand raked through his still-short locks. His fingers felt for the healed scar. "Who said nothing good will result from misfortunes like this?"

"Ryoma!"

He spun around only to see his lovers coming up around the bend, all dressed up for the special occasion. He smirked. "Monkey King, I told you no purple today!"

The business magnate just grabbed him and kissed him senseless. "And since when did I start listening to you for fashion advice?" He cocked his head up after they parted.

Ryoma pouted. "But it's my--mmphhp!!!" He was cut off when Fuji swooped down and captured his unattended lips. The golden-eyed man had no choice but to cling to the searing kiss. He wound his arms around the brunette's neck.

"Aherm!"

They broke off. Ryoma peered past the tensai and saw his two stoic lovers glaring at them.

"Sorry Mitsu, Gen." Ryoma unlatched himself from Fuji to give Tezuka and soft lingering kiss. "I didn't mean to forget about you two." He went to Sanada and did the same thing as well.

"Uhh guys, I don't think we still have time for that." Ohtori approached them. He had his button, corsage, his sash and his class ring already.

"Is it starting?" Ryoma asked him.

"Yeah. Surprisingly, my parents came that's why I have all this ornaments up already." He sighed but joy was definitely in his eyes. "You know how my mom reacts to these events."

Ryoma's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?! You mean--"

Ohtori's smile turned into a grin. "We're good and they already accepted Haru! Oh this is the best day of my life!" He gave Ryoma a bear hug. He didn't let go until he heard someone cleared his throat.

"Ahh sorry." He immediately released the young man upon seeing the murderous glares of his lovers.

"Don't mind them." Ryoma told him.

Ohtori then remembered something. "Oh yeah!" He took out his something from his pocket. "I already gave you corsage and sash to your parents but I got this." He took out a moss green-colored velvet box and handed it to him.

Ryoma took it and opened it.

"It's our class button and ring. I figured you'd want them to put it on you." Ohtori smiled. Ryoma smiled back to him and turned to his lovers.

"Well?"

Tezuka held his breath as he reached in and took the ring.

"Sweet." Fuji muttered as he eyed the silver band with an opal blinking under the midday's sky.

Atobe took his left hand and he and Tezuka slowly slid the ring into his ring finger. Ryoma was nothing but in awe as the silver band fit perfectly around his fingers. His heart swelled in happiness as if felt something more than just putting it on.

"T-thank you." Ryoma muttered, blushing hard. He then felt fingers on his right chest. he looked up and saw Sanada and Fuji pinning the button on his suit.

" Wow..." Fuji breathed out as they studied their lover. He exuded the aura of a powerful young man. "So beautiful Ryoma." He bent down and gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"Let's go." Ohtori was becoming impatient. Yes, the five of them looked adorable and cute but the clock is ticking and their graduation march will start soon.

Ryoma took Fuji's and Sanada's hands together they walked out of the greeneries and towards the Symphony Hall of his school. Outside where families, the Press and the like gathered, stood the Echizens waiting for their youngest son.

"Oi Chibisuke!!!!!!" Ryoga waved when he saw his brother with his lovers and Ohtori came around the bend. "Hurry!!!!"

"That's so like him, alright." Came a grumble. Ryoga glanced sideways to Kirihara, whom he was steadily dating for about a month already.

"Yeah." He sighed as he watched his brother make no move to speed up. "I'm beginning to realize what a brat I have for a brother."

"Come on now, Ryoga." A soft hand tapped his shoulders. "It's your brother's day after all. Rinko smiled at the ecstatic face of her youngest.

Just as they approached, Nanjiroh arrived with a sash and a corsage in hand.

"There you are!" He cried in exasperation. "I've been looking all over for you!" Nanjiroh tugged him closer. "You're marching in 5 minutes!" He handed Rinko the corsage while he slipped the ornate sash over Ryoma's head.

"Hey, hey! Easy!" Ryoma protested.

"Good afternoon Rinko-san, Ji-san." His lovers bowed at the sight of Ryoma's parents.

Ryoga glared at them. "You kept him. Now my Chibisuke is late." He watched at his mother bent to pin the corsage on him.

"We're sorry." Tezuka smiled at them apologetically.

"There, all set." Rinko straightened out his suit and beamed at her son. "You look amazing Ryoma." She caressed his face gently.

"Amazing, yes but incorrigible...absolutely." Ryoga reached out and messed the already-messy locks. "Congratulations, Chibisuke."

"Oi watch it!" Ryoma slapped his hand away in annoyance. "I actually spent a long time tidying it up you know!"

"GRADUATES OF YEAR 2008, PLEASE FALL IN LINE. WE'RE ABOUT TO START THE CEREMONY."

Ryoma took a deep breath as the fluttery reined his heart once more. Reality soon caught up with him. He's graduating. He's alive. His lovers are back. His family is for real...EVERYTHING IS REAL.

A firm hand on his shoulders drew him back and he found himself staring up to his father's eyes.

"I'm very proud of you Ryoma." He drew him into a tight embrace. "I can't thank the heavens enough for giving me the chance to experience the person that you are now. I can't ask for more."

Ryoma felt his eyes warming up as he wrapped his arms around the old man as well. "Me too, Tou-san...me too."

"Ryoma..."

He broke free from his father embrace to face Ohtori who was wearing the same elated expression.

"It's time."

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They watched proudly as the members of the graduating class began their march. Nanjiroh and his family were seated together with Tezuka and the others. In front of them sat Ohtori's family, Niou...and surprisingly, Shishido and his family.

Not far from the back stood most of Ryoma's friends inclusive of Yukimura, Oishi and the rest of the gang. They were so elated that the young man is finally putting up a new start in his life that they had to restrain Eiji from screaming when it was Ryoma's turn to take the aisle.

Although that wouldn't be necessary since the moment he and Ohtori started their march, the rest of the world, students and guests alike, stood up and applauded the top students of their class.

"Wow...this is...amazing." Sanada scanned the entire hall full of people lauding his lover and his friend. He never imagined that the golden-eyed man was this great.

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Ryoma squirmed in his seat, waiting for his name to be called. He had to admit that despite his amazing talents, the person who had been creating music longer than he had emerged as the victor. Although he only came in second, he was proud that his best friend was named the class Summa cum Laude.

"Echizen Ryoma, Magna cum Laude!"

A sudden tide of murmur enveloped the crowd. Ryoma then realized that the rest of the world didn't know that his name was hastily changed to Echizen due to the persistence of his father. Only the school administrators and a few selected acquaintances knew of the change that occurred.

He stood up and there was a resounding applause from the back. Ryoma turned around and gaped at the sight of numerous familiar faces, beaming at him proudly. Soon, the crowd's initial shock died down and the entire hall erupted in cheers and applause as Ryoma walked towards the stage to receive his diploma and several other awards.

"Echizen Ryoma is this year's Grand Vicar of The Performing Arts for his contributions to not only the Piano Division but to the rest of the Academy as well. He is also this year's recipient of Sir Atoine Ravine Excellence Award..."

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Tezuka turned deaf to the voice that has been detailing Ryoma's achievements. All his senses were focused on the man on stage. It was not long ago that his lover made a deal with Death and nearly lost. It was not long ago that that he nearly lost probably the best thing he ever had...completeness.

He soon realized that he cannot deny his young lover the one thing that he selfishly hid from the world...his smile.

"That's it Ryoma...show the world how great you are."

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Atobe had to wipe away the tears that escaped his eyes discreetly. If the golden-eyed man learned about this, he knew he wouldn't let Atobe live it down.

'But I don't regret it. I don't regret shedding these tears right now.' Atobe smiled when the head of the Piano Division put on the medal on his lover's neck. 'For Ryoma...I'll do anything...I'll offer anything...'

'I'll give up everything.'

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Fuji tightened his grip on Sanada's arm. Yes...this feeling, this thrill that had long left his body returned upon seeing how his young lover was finally receiving the recognition he deserved. It might not be from tennis, but it is from something equally amazing.

'Just imagine if you didn't make the first move to sort things out, Syusuke.' he felt goose bumps on the back of his neck as the applause escalated to a higher notch when Ryoma received his third medal.

_"AmIi not enough?'_

Those words came back to him like a faint echo from the past.

'No Ryoma...you're not just enough...you're more than enough.'

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Sanada felt his lips curving up into a smile when Ryoma struggled with the awards that he received. The last time that he saw his young lover in this situation was during the Nationals of his senior year in high school. Everything was perfect that time...until...

Sanada shook himself inwardly. 'Now's not the time to remember that Geinichiroh. That was the start of the darkest days of your life. Today is a day the Prince reclaimed what was rightfully his...success...distinction...perfection.'

"Good job, Ryo-kun."

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Ryoma couldn't stop himself from grinning. Yes, it was hard to juggle the plaques and the trophies and such but it's ok.

"And here is Echizen Ryoma for his speech."

Then all of the euphoria in his veins suddenly dissolved into nothingness. "S-speech?"

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Yukimura fought hard not to burst out laughing at the expression the golden-eyed man has. It seemed like Ryoma never saw it coming.

'Ahh...what a scheming friend you have, Ryoma-kun.' He turned his attention to the back of Ohtori who just stood there.

"He's probably grinning like a cat right now." He heard Oishi muttered.

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"Speech?!" Nanjiroh gasped. "We never prepared for a speech! my god that idiot's going to babble his way into it!" Came a muttered outrage.

Rinko grasped her husband's hand. "It's ok Nanjiroh. Watch your son. He'll be perfect."

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Ryoma swallowed the hard lump in his throat as one of the ushers relieved him of the burden of his achievements and was led to the podium. After recovering from his initial shock, he managed to throw Ohtori a death glare before he composed his self to face the rest of the crowd.

'Oh well...here we go.' He took a deep breath and gently tugged the microphone towards him.

"Good afternoon everyone." He fought hard to find his calm. 'Imagine you're currently in the US Open...or The Conservatoire in Paris.'

"As most of you know, I'm not a man of words..." This brought a waved of silence that filled the symphony hall. "And I would've liked to stay that way until now. However, the situation does not call for my usual aloof silence, but rather extreme gratitude for all of you."

He caught sight of his lovers and his family. He soon felt the anxiety leave his veins. 'Who would've thought I'd be standing here in front of you all? I guess I just didn't expect it to happen this way.

"I'm offering my deepest gratitude to all of you. First, to this wonderful institution who welcomed me with open-arms when I needed something to bring back the life in me. I remembered how the chills went down my spine the first time I really listened to Ohtori Choutarou played the piano in room # 4 three years ago." He closed his eyes as the haunting memories made the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

"I was so lost back then. I lost the one thing that directed my life...and who would've thought the gentle melancholic sounds of the keys he pressed would ignite something in me...something that I thought I lost."

"I would've have continued living without music..."

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Ryoma fell back on the huge bed, exhausted from the day's event. First, he and Ohtori had to render piano performances for everyone. He chose to play his favorite piece, Ballad pour Adeline while his best friend play Fur Elise. After that, the Academy Orchestra, with Ohtori as the concert master and he as the pianist, played Rachmaninov - Piano Concerto No.2 in c.

'I can still feel the tingles down to my fingers.' He smiled at the memory of the entranced faces. 'It's the best performance of my life.'

And immediately after the ceremony, a party was held in Atobe's mansion for him and Ohtori where all of their friends, band mates and families gathered. He snuck out for a while to get some rest.

He lay there for quite a while until he heard the door creaked open. He opened his eyes and found his brother standing by the doorway, watching him.

"Oniisan?" It took him quite a while to fight off the hostile feeling in his heart towards the older man...especially that the man had a possessive streak in him.

_"Could you please stop touching my Chibisuke like that?" Ryoga glared at Atobe. "He's still young you know." _

_"Ryoga!" Ryoma glared at him indignantly. A small blush crept up his cheeks. "I'm mature enough to handle my lovers."_

_Atobe chuckled at he continued playing with Ryoma's hair. _

_"I said stop molesting my Chibisuke!" He not-so-gently grabbed Ryoma from the diva's grip. _

_And that started chaos. _

Ryoga smiled at the adorable look on his brother's face. He couldn't quite understand how it happened but the moment he learned that Ryoma was his brother, he felt the weight from his heart was lifted and he was able to breathe freely.

"Are you coming home with us tonight?" He asked.

Ryoma shook his head. "You know very well that this is where I live." He could almost sense the jealousy from the older man. "I'll visit tomorrow and maybe I can talk them to come and spend the night at our house." He said. 'Our house...wow...I didn't imagine it would feel nice saying those words.'

Ryoga sighed and sat at the edge of the bed. "Fine, I'll tell mom and dad."

Ryoma smirked at the obvious dismay of the older man. It was indeed not too long ago that they were able to spend time together. He scooted over to his older brother and leaned against his side.

Ryoma tensed at first when he felt the gentle pressure of his brother against his arm. However, that tension slowly ebbed away. "Will you be playing tennis again?"

"I don't know yet. Seiichi-san has not given me a go signal yet." He felt his brother's hand on his head. " And besides, I don't know if I still get back in shape and be the player that I had been five years ago."

Ryoga stared at the dark mass of hair. "You can. You can fulfill Dad's dream. I cannot do it since I'm permanently off sports but you still can. From what I have heard, you are one hell of a tennis player."

Ryoma smiled. "I know." They just sat there in silence for a quite a while until Ryoga asked another question.

"How are you able to handle four men?"

Ryoma just smirked and left his older brother.

"Mada mada dane, Ryoga."

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The soft gentle wind caressed his face as he stood before a familiar tree. For years he came to this spot to wallow in his self misery but now, he came for another purpose.

A warm hand gently grasped his shoulders, giving him the encouragement that he needed.

"Go on Ryoma." Tezuka smiled at him. It was only a year ago when they first stumbled into the resting place of their beloved coach. Now, he's here once more with his lovers and Ryoma's family to honor the woman who took care of Ryoma and raised him up into an amazing person that he is now.

"Obaa-chan," Ryoma swallowed hard as the emotions that he kept at bay threatened to burst out of his heart. He kneeled and gently caressed the soft grass which covered the remains of his grandmother.

His eyes shimmered with so much emotion. He wanted to cry, to scream so that the old woman would here him from where she is as of the moment. His heart was beating so hard...so heart that by any minute it would jump out of his chest.

Months of gruesome training...days of fierce battle and now he stood before the grave of Ryuzaki Sumire, with a golden trophy and medal glinting under the midday's sun.

"I d-did it Obaa-chan." Tears finally escaped his tear ducts and fell into the ground. "I did not give up...I did not forfeit."

"I-I won."

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A/N: Crappy ending? screams in agony I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's just that I have my finals on Monday and a defense on Friday and we're still not done with our research proposal. I'm sorry if this last chapter did not cater to your liking but I really did my best.

I will try to start on the new OT5 story that I have been telling you about. It's still angsty...but not as angsty as this. An OC will be introduced.

Here's a preview of my upcoming story entitled: "Will you still love me tomorrow?"

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A crash punctuated the banter when Ryoma fell back against the bed, his hand hitting the elegant lampshade which sent it crashing against the floor.

"HOW COULD YOU?!?!"

Ryoma winced as he touched his cheeks. He did not look at Atobe…nor Fuji. Not even at Tezuka nor Sanada. There was only one thing that is going inside his head.

'He hit me.'

"How dare you come back here after you spent the whole night with that bastard?!?!?" Atobe was fuming in anger. He wanted so much to maul, hurt and inflict pain on the young man. He wanted to make him feel the same amount of pain that he is currently dealing with.

On his other hand was a CD...sent by Yukimura just to spite them. It was a CD of him and Ryoma.

Blinded by rage he moved to hit him once more but strong arms seized him.

"Let me go Mitsu! Gen!" He tried to escape from their firm grips but they are much too strong. "Syusuke!"

Fuji just stood there, watching the whole scene unfold. His eyes were opened and yet his expression was unreadable.

"Ryoma, just leave." Tezuka told the young man on the bed. As much as he wanted to vent out his anger on him, he couldn't.

"Leave this house. I don't want to see you ever again."

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How as it? I'll be posting this up as soon as I'm off any academic obligation.

THANK YOU SO MCUH FOR SUPPORTING "FORFEIT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL TRY TO IMPROVE MYSELF MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR THE LAST TIME FOR "FORFEIT",

PLEASE MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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